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“What if he doesn’t?”
She starts to cry. I can count on one hand how many times in my life I’ve seen my daughter cry. She prides herself on being so tough. He must really mean a lot to her. She’s in love. I can see it written all over her gorgeous face. My baby is in love.
I gently touch her arm. “Tell me what you love about him. Articulate it.”
Her defenses pop right back up. “He’s hot as fuck.”
Oh, Jade. I roll my eyes. “I’m aware. What else?”
She sits on the couch and exhales slowly before finally giving me a genuine answer. “I don’t know, Mom. He likes me for me.Lovesme for me. He likes my humor. He likes my wiseass comments and gives them right back to me in return. He makes me laugh. I can be myself with him, and that’s what he wants. Me. Just as I am, complete with all the fucked-up parts. And the sex. Ahh. Holy shit.”
I giggle. “Toe curling?”
She smiles. “Everythingcurling. He just…he makes me feel good. He makes me feel safe. He makes me feel cherished. He makes me feel wanted. He makes me feel good enough. I know it sounds weird. Does that make sense?”
We’re so much alike. We crave all the same things, things we both missed in different ways growing up. I’m feeling so much the same right now with Beckett. She has no idea how much I can identify with her.
I caress her hair. “It makes perfect sense. You’re the most wonderful woman I know. Of course he loves you. Why don’t you call him? Tell him what you just told me.”
She gives me her mischievous smile. “That he’s good in bed? He knows.”
I can only shake my head. “You know what I mean.”
“I don’t know if I’m ready. I don’t know if I deserve him.”
“Deserve him? Jade, you deserve the love of a good man.”
She won’t look me in the eyes.
“Look at me.” She does. “You deserve to be happy. If he makes you happy, then I don’t know what in the hell you’re doing here. You need to eventually let yourself trust a man with your heart. It’s always a risk. Sometimes the risk is worth the reward. Do you trust him?”
She’s silent. She does trust him. I can see it. Wow.
Eventually, she nods. “Yes, I trust him. But what if it backfires?”
“There aren’t any guarantees, but it sounds like you’re in love with him as much as he’s in love with you.”
“Can we not talk about this right now? I can’t deal with what happened today. Dad lost his shit. He broke a fucking glass wall. He’s psycho.”
“I knew you’d want to avoid it. Dad wanted to come here. I told him to come in the morning. Your old room is made up for you. You can shelve this for the night and then you need to be an adult and deal with them. Both Collin and your father.”
“You’re kind of bossy.”
“At least you got one thing from me.”
She laughs.
We get her favorite ice cream and watch one of her favorite childhood movies. We giggle and eat too much, just as we did when she was younger.
Admittedly, it’s hard for me to focus on the movie at times. Maybe I should heed my own advice. I need to trust in what I’m feeling for Beckett, the way he makes me feel about myself.
I pull out my phone to text him.
Me: Sorry I left so abruptly. She’s with me.
He responds immediately.
Beckett: Is she okay?
