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“Glad to hear it. When will you guys be home?”
Reggie looks at the navigation screen. “We’ll be at Mandy’s in ninety minutes. I need to help her with her bags, so I’ll be home in a little over two hours.”
“Okay. The kids are fine. SJ’s girlfriend is over. They’re downstairs, supposedly watching a movie. The lights in the basement are off though. Should I turn them on?”
“Meh. He’s eighteen. Let him be. Let Rose’s mother worry about that. You and I were both doing worse at his age.”
Sam sighs. “I guess you’re right, as always. See you soon. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
She ends the call and I look at her while clutching my heart. “You two are so sweet together. You give me hope.”
She smiles. “For some reason, he still loves my ever-expanding, fat ass.”
“Don’t say that. Your body is perfect.” She’s always been self-deprecating about her curvier figure. I hate it.
“No,yourbody is perfect. Insanely perfect. Disgustingly perfect. Unfathomably perfect. Belongs-in-a-magazine perfect. Defies-science perfect. I’m at least forty pounds overweight.”
“Reg, you’ve had five kids and work insane hours at the hospital. Give yourself a break. I only had one baby, when I was still a child myself. It’s a lot easier to bounce back from that.”
“I also drink, smoke weed, eat too much, and am allergic to exercise.” She grabs her stomach and squeezes it. “Thank god Sam says he loves my vagomic.”
I pinch my eyebrows together. “What’s a vagomic?”
“People like me who are so big that you don’t knowwhere their stomach ends and their vagina begins.” She points down. “Hence, vagomic.”
I burst out laughing. “Holy shit. I’ve never heard that term. That’s hysterical and wrong all at once. You’re a nut.”
She shrugs. “Whatever. I am what I am. I’ll never be a crazy gym rat with a magazine-worthy body. Sam says it gives him something to grab me by.”
“I love the way he loves you. You two are a real-life fairytale.”
“No relationship is perfect, but I know I got one of the good ones. It helps that I don’t need a damaged man with a boatload of issues.”
My face falls as I cross my arms. “I don’t need a damaged man with a boatload of issues.”
She raises her eyebrow. “Sure.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means I knew Rick was wrong for you because he’s too fucking sweet and perfect.Allthe time. There’s nothing wrong with him. He practically singsZip-A-Dee-Doo-Dahout of his asshole. You’ve never been attracted to men like Rick. Besides a certain sexy Latino man, every man you’ve dated was damaged with issues. Look at your baby daddy. He’s the grumpiest, edgiest, most damaged motherfucker I’ve ever met.”
“Jade’s twenty-two. Do we really still call Declan my baby daddy? I was coked out of my mind when we were together. So was he. I barely remember our time together. I doubt he does either.”
“But you got Jade out of it, so all is good.”
I tilt my head back and blow out a breath. “She’s my everything. Thank god for her. At this point, I guess she’s the only child I’ll ever have. I just hope I haven’t fucked her up because of how terrible I am at relationships with men.”
“Pft. She’s fine. She’s one of the most sensational women I’ve ever met. You should be proud of the type of woman she’s become. Look at all she’s already accomplished. She has a great job and makes good money, owns a luxury condo, is the funniest human being I know, and does it all while looking like a fucking supermodel.”
“Of course I’m proud of all that. I just worry about her relationships with men. She won’t let anyone get close. She sleeps around without allowing for even the remote possibility of any emotional attachment. It’s all my fault. She watched me engage in dysfunctional relationship after dysfunctional relationship. It’s all she knows.”
“She’s young and hot. Let her get her kicks. When the right guy comes along, she’s smart enough to know when to change her ways.”
“Like me? I’m forty-four and still haven’t found the right guy.”
“I…no, forget it.”
