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“Music taps into my emotions in a way that I would prefer it didn’t.”
His mouth quirked. “Now who’s afraid to be vulnerable?”
“It isn’t safe for me to access strong emotions. Look what happened between us just now. I violated your boundaries.”
His mouth twitched. “I believe I was very much in favor of being violated by you.”
A flush of warmth flooded my body. “I wouldn’t want to lose control and go full goddess on anyone.”
“So you lock up your emotions and tuck away the key?”
“Safer for everyone that way.”
“That’s no way to live, Lorelei.”
“Better than other people dying because of me.”
“You don’t give yourself enough credit. You’ve shown incredible restraint since you’ve been here. If you hadn’t, your identity wouldn’t be a secret anymore.”
“I don’t think I showed incredible restraint twenty minutes ago.”
A smile touched his lips. “I didn’t hear any music playing, or was it the drumbeat of my heart that did you in?”
Groaning, I buried my face in my hands. “Don’t make me regret this.”
“Do you think you will?”
My gaze swung to his. “No.” If anything, it left me wanting more, although I’d have to see how I felt once the goat was no longer under my roof.
“You should know there’s another reason I left.” He drew a deep breath, which put me on edge.
“I’m listening.”
“I’ve spent many years trying to outrun my former self. I have no desire to be drawn back into that darkness.”
I recoiled slightly. “And you worryIwould do that to you?”
“You’re the goddess of nightmares and ghosts. Darkness is where you dwell.” Despite his words, his tone was gentle, almost apologetic. Still, his response threw me.
“I didn’t choose this life. I didn’t raise my hand in identity class and beg to play the role of Melinoe. I would’ve gladly traded it for the role of average human girl.”
“Either way, it’s who you are at your core, and I’ve worked too hard to get to this place to let myself sink again.”
“Sink?” I couldn’t quite wrap my head around what he was telling me. “Do you seriously think I’m going to drag you into the depths of darkness and despair? Have you seen my inflatable swan?”
“I have. I noticed you chose a black one.”
I smacked his arm. “Kane, you’re being ridiculous.”
“Am I? You keep yourself hidden from the world because you’re afraid of losing control and hurting people or attracting the wrong kind of attention. If that happens, I’ll want to help you, Lorelei. I won’t be able to stand idly by, but instead of me being your buoy, you’ll be my albatross. We’ll end up drowning together in a sea of darkness.”
“That’s bullshit, Kane. That’s your fear talking.”
“Yes, it is,” he admitted. “Now you know another one of my nightmares without needing to see it for yourself.”
CHAPTER 15
I spentthe next morning in the dining room looking after the goat, the donkey, and the pig that had been delivered by West soon after I woke up. The alpha seemed thrilled to remove the pig from the trailer park. I explained my theory that the pig spread gluttony, which West seemed to accept without question.
