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Maybe she didn’t enjoy it all as much as I did though. And that’s why she is avoiding me today.
I consider writing her a note and leaving it on the message desk. But what would I write?I need to see you again?I can’t stop thinking about you? Or, I could go old-school elementary withDo you like me?and follow it up with yes or no boxes to check.
C’mon, Spence get a hold of yourself. It was just a night. And she’s just a girl. Just a girl I want to get to know better…
I head to my room and attempt to start the book she left me last night. I get about a chapter in and my mind starts wandering again. Will she come visit me tonight? A couple of times I hear a noise that sounds like it could be a light knock on my door and my heart jumps. But then I realize it must just be someone in the hall walking by. I place my attention back to the book once again.
Eventually, sleep overtakes me and I pull the covers up over me. I guess she’s not coming. I wonder if she’s thinking aboutme. Maybe she’s touching herself, thinking about us together. Of course, that would be yet another retreat infraction. Smiling, I fall into a deep satisfied sleep.
Chapter 11
Sasha
Waking up to that damn 6:00 am bell going off like a bullhorn in my head, I look bleary-eyed around the room trying to figure out where I am. Ah, of course… the meditation retreat. And, in my own room this time.
I slept like shit last night, tossing and turning in my tiny bed. I had pushed off the blanket in the middle of the night while thrashing around. I reach down to pull it back up, cozy up under it and contemplate just staying here in bed all day.
But, my responsible brain kicks in and orders me to get the fuck up. I came here to learn to meditate and learn to meditate I will.
While pulling on my clothes I remember a dream I had last night. It was about Travis. We were back together and even in my dream, I knew it was a bad decision. I was trying to figure out how to back out of the relationship gracefully when, suddenly, Travis was no longer Travis, but instead, had morphed into Spencer. Spencer looked at me with narrowed eyes and sternly said, “I don’t know why it’s such a big deal that I cheated on you.You know all men do that, right? Why would you think I’d be any different?”
Shaking my head, I attempt to banish the horrible dream from my mind and finish getting ready to head downstairs. That’s so weird the dream went in that direction. Spencer is far from perfect but he’s nothing like Travis. At least, I don’t think so. I guess I really don’t know him well enough to say that though. The real question is, do I want to get to know him better?
I thought about our encounter from the night before a lot yesterday. It was such a turn-on because of the silence and Spencer really knew his way around a woman’s body. I rode that orgasm wave for what felt like hours.
Sex with him was different than I imagined. He was so attentive to me and seemed to know exactly what I wanted. Pretty damn impressive considering I couldn’t utter a word to guide him. Sex the first time can be a bit awkward–I’ve definitely had my fair share of that. But, with Spencer it was different.
I was definitely a bit embarrassed when I read the note about us leaving campus. I wonder if anyone heard us later that night in his room. When I walked out the next morning there was a guy in the hall and he gave me a confused look. I just put my head down and kept on walking.
I struggled yesterday deciding whether to sit near Spencer at meals and whether to seek him out after dinner. I really like what I know about him so far but my fear of being hurt again is causing me to hesitate. Plus, I feel likeheshould be seekingmeout, right?
I take my usual seat for meditation. My butt has worn a groove into this cushion the last few days.
Spencer strides in wearing a pair of joggers and a hooded sweatshirt. His broad shoulders fill out the hoodie just right. He looks directly at me and I feel my body melt. He has the kind of eyes I feel myself falling into.
I can’t stop staring at his back during the meditation. I wonder whether he is thinking about me too. I close my eyes again, trying to focus on my breath instead of guessing what’s going through Spencer’s mind.
The session finally ends and I head to the dining room for breakfast. I grab coffee and a bagel and head over to Spencer, who is sitting alone, completely engrossed in his coffee.
I sit down and he glances up at me looking about as groggy as I feel. He smiles at me and gives me a little nod. We both sit, drinking our coffee, and I begin smearing cream cheese on my bagel.
Spencer’s foot makes its way into my space and lands next to my foot, touching it lightly. I glance up at his face, looking into those captivating eyes. He stares back at me for a few moments before giving me a sexy smile and then looking away.
When I’m finished eating, I get up to check the desk for messages. I’m surprised to see that I have not just one message but two. God, what am I in trouble for now?
But it's not from a staff member. Instead, it’s from my sister, Lindy. Why would she be sending me a note?
I quickly rip open the little envelope and begin reading.
Sash – I hope you're having an amazing zen experience. I just wanted to let you know that Dan and I finally saw the two little pink lines! You’re going to be an aunt again! XOXO, Lindy.
My heart jumps for joy. It’s finally happened and little Annabelle will soon have a brother or sister. I’m dying to talk to Lindy now to see how she’s feeling. She had a rough first trimester with Annabelle. Hopefully, this time will be better. I wish I could call her right now and get all the details but of course, I can’t do that so it’s just going to have to wait.
I rip open the other envelope.
Sasha – I’m looking forward to getting out of here so I can take you to a proper dinner. – Spencer
I feel my body flush and I look around to see where Spencer is. He’s no longer at the table and is nowhere to be seen. Slipping the note into my pocket, I head to the maintenance closet to find the broom so I can start my daily chores.
