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“I’ve always wondered what happens at those things.”
I chuckle to myself after ending the call with Laney. I don’t think I’ll be giving her many details when I get back. I’m pretty sure I won’t be talking to anyone about it, maybe not even Sasha. I still can’t tell if she’s actually interested in me or just wanted to blow off some steam the other night. I’m hoping I’ll have a better read on her tomorrow after we can start talking again.
After lunch, we have a 90-minute meditation session followed by a talk from Arthur about the concept of “keep going.” I settle in to listen to him, grateful for a break from meditation, and let my mind drift a bit to my own circumstances while he explains what the concept means.
“Good afternoon, dear friends,” he begins at almost a whisper, as anything louder than that would be shocking to our ears after so much silence. “I would like to share some reflections on the theme of "Keep Going." In our journey through life, we often encounter obstacles, challenges, and moments of doubt. It is during these times that the wisdom of perseverance, resilience, and determination becomes especially relevant.”
“Life is inherently uncertain and filled with ups and downs. It's a journey of joy and sorrow, success and failure, gain and loss. Just as the seasons change, so do the circumstances of our lives. Understanding this impermanence is fundamental to our practice.”
I ponder the ideas of success and failure and how important it is to me to succeed at everything in life. I was brought up this way, with a father that drove me hard every day to not just be my best, but be perfect.
I come back to Arthur's voice. “In Buddhist teachings, the practice of perseverance is known as "Virya," one of the six perfections. It is the quality of unwavering determination, the commitment to keep going despite difficulties. Perseverance is a virtue because it enables us to overcome obstacles and continue progressing on our spiritual path.”
“Obstacles are a natural part of life. Whether they are internal, like doubt or fear, or external, like physical challenges or setbacks, they can test our resolve. It's essential to remember that obstacles, in their essence, are opportunities for growth. They provide us with the chance to cultivate strength, wisdom, and compassion.”
Arthur goes on to touch on the topics of mindfulness, patience and drawing inspiration from role models in our lives. He finishes the talk by saying, “In conclusion, "keep going" is not just a simple phrase; it's a profound teaching. It reminds us that no matter how challenging life becomes, we have the capacity to persevere, and to continue our journey towards awakening and inner peace. The path of perseverance is a path of growth, transformation, and ultimately, liberation. Thank you for your practice and dedication to this beautiful path.”
Sasha raises her hand and Arthur points to her.
“How do we continue to persevere when life keeps throwing curve balls at us?” she asks.
“Life is full of challenges. The tough days make the easy days feel amazing. It’s all relative. We must have the curve balls to understand how beautiful life can be,” Arthur answers.
She nods and bites her lip.
I wonder what she’s referring to… Her ex? Her new job that can be difficult at times (thanks to pain-in-the-ass clients like me?) Or something else?
“Alright, everyone, time for walking meditations. You all know what to do. Head out in the field or on one of the paths on the property and concentrate only on how your body feels moving through the world. After that, we will reconvene for dinner.
We all file out through the door, heading in different directions, picking our paths for the next 90 minutes.
The day is stunning – clear and brisk, but not too cold. The lodge sits on a large chunk of property with tons of trails running through the thick forest. I pick one that seems to go on forever. It's so gorgeous out that I don’t want to turn around.
My mind goes to Arthur’s words about life’s challenges. I am not stupid enough to think my challenges are hard compared to most people. Growing up in a wealthy family, I have always had everything I need. But, my childhood wasn’t the easiest. Along with dealing with my dad’s high expectations, I was sick a lot when I was younger, mainly in middle school. I missed so much school and got behind. The other boys teased me a lot because I wasn’t good at sports and I was on the small side. Thank God, by the time high school hit I had caught up in height with most of the other boys. But, those earlier years left a scar on me.
I continue meandering up the hill and see a small wooden hut up the path a bit. What is that doing here in the middle of nowhere? I continue toward it and notice that there’s someone there already, sitting on a bench off to the side, with their back to me.
I slow down and try to decide whether I should keep heading that way. I don’t want to startle whoever it is. The person hears me coming toward them and looks my way. I realize it’s Sasha and my heart thumps. She recognizes me, smiles and waves and I continue to walk toward her.
I sit down next to her and we both look up and down the path to make sure no one is in earshot.
“Hi,” I say, quietly. “What a day, huh? Have you been here long?”
“Only for about five minutes ago. I needed a break from the walk,” she whispers back.
“Are you ready for this to end tomorrow?”
“Happy to be heading home to my own comfy bed and my coffee maker that I can use any time of day I choose,” she says, her eyes twinkling. “But, the experience has actually been amazing. A much-needed break from my too-busy life. How about you?”
I look down for a moment and notice a small worm, moving toward some leaves. “I have mixed feelings, definitely. On the one hand, I agree with you about how great this has been to lose touch with the outside world. I almost never take the time to do that. But, I’m also looking forward to getting back to work.”
She nods. “I miss work too. I’ve got a lot to catch up on when I get back.”
“I’m also looking forward to being able to talk again. Freely, you know? Not just whispering up here with you. I’ve got to be honest… not being able to talk to you after what happened between us the other night has been tough.”
She looks up at me, her eyes searching my face. “Go on…”
“Well, I want to get to know you better. That’s all. I think you’re amazing and I enjoy spending time with you.”
