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“Who the fuck are you?” I screamed at her, feeling all the blood rush to my face.
Feeling a panic attack coming on, I ran out of the apartment as fast as I could.
How could he? What kind of fucking jackass talks about moving in together one week and the next he’s cheating on me? We had even started looking at two-bedroom apartments together online.
I went straight to Lauren’s apartment and knocked on the door, praying she was home and awake. As soon as she opened the door I dissolved into tears, barely able to tell her what had just happened. I spent the afternoon with her, asking over and over again why this happened. Why me?
I cried for days, trying desperately to forget the look on his face as he stood there, unable to hide what was going on. We were happy, weren’t we? I just couldn’t figure out what went wrong. Why would he do this to me? I trusted him and he just ripped my heart out with no warning.
I had to call out from work for a couple of days. Lauren checked on me several times a day and came by to see me afterwork. She brought over my favorite food and sat with me on the couch, watching reruns of Friends.
It’s been several months now, and Travis has tried several times to explain that it was a one-time thing and it didn’t mean anything. I knew I’d never be able to look at him the same way and decided it wasn’t even worth a conversation.
Lauren looks at me now with concern. She knows me well and realizes I am still looping in my mind about the breakup and all the hurt that came with it.
She hesitantly says, “You know, Brett has this friend… he’s a really great guy. He owns his own company and is so much more mature than other guys our age. Anyway, he’s single right now after his ex moved to Spain and neither of them wanted to do the long-distance thing. I could set you up with him if you’re interested. We could do a super casual double date thing to start with so there’s no pressure. What do you think?”
My heart drops just at the thought of meeting someone new and having to go through the beginning stages of a relationship again. And for what? Just to possibly get my heart stomped on all over again? Lauren is under the impression that the sooner I start dating again the sooner I’m able to put Travis behind me. But, I just don’t think I can do it. Not now, at least.
“Sounds about as fun as a bikini wax,” I joke but deep down I feel like crying. “Something I need to put on my calendar if I ever get back out there. I really do appreciate you thinking about me. It’s just not time yet.”
“I get it. Just let me know if you ever want to meet him. Who knows if he’ll still be single… I just have this feeling you two would vibe.”
“I think it’s going to be quite a while. What Travis did to me doesn’t just go away. I honestly don’t think I could trust anyone right now.” My heart thuds at the thought of sharing my thoughts and dreams again.
“I get it, girl. And you should absolutely listen to your heart on that one,” Lauren says. “I just want you to stay open if you can, just in case the right one, the one you can trust, shows up.”
I nod yes but feel like that’s an impossibility at this point. Right now, I can’t imagine “the right one” ever showing up.
After work, I drive to my sister Lindy’s house. She invited me over for dinner and she’s cooking one of my favorite meals – lasagna. Lindy is an amazing cook and now that she’s married, she just keeps getting better. Her husband Dan adores her food and is always going on about how amazing it is, encouraging her to sharpen her skills even more.
Lindy opens the door with my two-year-old niece, Annabelle, on her hip.
“Hi!!” we all say at the same time. Annabelle gives me a huge toothy grin and reaches out for me to take her.
“Oh, thank God she wants you,” Lindy says. “She’s been a grumpy-butt all afternoon and she’s making it impossible for me to get dinner ready.”
I swing Annabelle into my arms and say, “You’re not a grumpy-butt, are you? Why would anyone ever call you that? You’re just my sweet Annabelle.”
Annabelle giggles and claps her hands while Lindy shoots me a look.
“Where’s Dan?” I ask.
“He’s on his way home. He’s been working late a lot. Things have really heated up with that big account they landed.” I nod my head, feeling bad for Lindy. I know it's hard when Dan isn’t around. He usually plays with Annabelle while Lindy cooks.
We walk into the kitchen and I see our dinner still in pieces all over the countertop.
“What can I help with?” I ask.
“Just keep Her Highness occupied for a bit, please.”
I sit down with Annabelle on the floor in a corner of the kitchen and start playing with the stuffed animal collection she’s accumulated there. Lindy brings over a glass of Chardonnay in a stemless glass for me and I take a sip.
“Ahh. Thanks. Needed that.”
“Rough day?” she asks, dropping the pasta into the boiling water.
“You could say that,” I say, picking up a stuffed dog and handing it to Annabelle.
