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He felt the tears slide down his cheek and smashed his hand into the steering wheel, causing the horn to honk loudly in the quiet night. He cursed as Colleen sat up disoriented, clutching the little boy to her chest tightly as Meredith began to soothe her. He had to get out of the living hell he’d put himself in, but he had no idea how.
Had Colleen and this Meredith met, fell in love and discovered a way to have a baby together? Had they done what he refused to contemplate for their future not wanting to admit that he couldn’t give her a child she so desperately wanted? How did he let the woman he loved go again was the biggest question floating through his mind. He had loved her every minute he didn’t have her and now he only had more questions. They needed answers and he knew how to find some of them.
Friday afternoon he sat in his office going through the information his investigator had found so far on Colleen. Most of it wasn’t anything that couldn’t be found online or in the papers and he felt his questions growing. A knock sounded on the door and Steve came in with a folder. His expression seemed grim and he didn’t know if he wanted to see the information inside it.
“What is it Steve?”
“Not good, the boy is hers; he’s thirty-nine months old, born nine months after your divorce.”
“Didn’t take her any time to find someone to sleep with I suppose.” Avery shook his head hating that he’d sent her straight to another man with his cruelty, especially one that gave her a child he’d so desperately wanted to give her from the start. “Not that I can blame her really, I told her I was in love with someone else and kicked her out.”
“Then this is likely to really make you feel like a total ass,” Steve warned opening the file to show him the police report. “Look at the date.”
Avery glanced at it before scanning the information listed, the assault that Colleen had sustained two days after he’d kicked her out of their house, told her to leave and not come back. He flipped to the next page that contained a medical report and the anger he’d barely been concealing the past few days raged hotly. He shoved everything off his desk as he turned to look out the window, silently vowing to kill who had hurt her.
“Tell me they caught him…tell me the monster who raped my wife was caught,” Avery said turning back towards Steve.
“I’m sorry Avery. I wish I could…I do man. We’ve been friends for a long time, and you know I’d tell you everything, but I can’t tell you that because it’s not true. Colleen couldn’t give a definitive description of him. The attack happened on a dark street, it was late and he wore a ski mask.”
“I did this to her.” Avery’s blood boiled as he covered his face with his hands. “I kicked her out, made her vulnerable, and this…she never would have been in that neighborhood if I hadn’t…”
“I really wish I could have brought you better news Avery. I checked around the daycare she sends Thomas to…”
“Thomas?” Avery asked stopping him. “The baby’s name is Thomas?”
“Yeah, is that special somehow?” Steve asked seeing his face pale.
“Meredith’s last name is…”
“Thomas, right,” Steve said taking out the information he’d found on her. “You were right about her; she came out to her friends in high school as being gay. Her ex-girlfriends all say she’s a wonderful person, but the relationship just died out naturally.”
“No wonder Colleen’s with her, I crippled her emotionally and then someone else…”
“They met before Thomas was born; Colleen’s first address in New York was the same as Meredith’s. It is possible that they’re not actually involved but simply friends,” Steve offered but Avery shook his head no.
“She’s in love with Colleen. She took no effort to hide that. I just…how did Colleen end up pregnant after the attack? She went to the hospital; they give out medications to prevent things like that don’t they?”
“You’d have to ask her. It’s possible she refused it if she didn’t believe in contraceptives,” Steve offered as a possible explanation. “It fits with taking him to a catholic daycare.”
“No, she was on the pill…of course, she was on the pill and probably didn’t think she’d get pregnant.” Avery’s heart ached to go find her, hold her and promise nothing would ever hurt her again.
“If it’s any consolation, everyone says she adores Thomas, or Tommy as they all called him. If anyone could possibly forgive you for what happened, it’d be the woman who accepted and loves the child caused by an act like that.”
“Colleen would never blame a child and there’s no way she would have thought about having an abortion. She’d been abandoned and hurt too much for that,” Avery said before thanking Steve. “I almost wish I didn’t have the answers. It just makes it worse to know there’s no possible way for her to forgive me.”
“There might be, if you tell her the truth. The whole truth Avery.” Steve gave the advice as his friend, not the investigator paid to look into the past. “Colleen would never have cared that you couldn’t have biological children with her. She would have suggested adoption or sperm donors before ever leaving you. So now the choice is back to you Avery, are you willing to accept a child that’s not yours to be with her?”
“If she gave me her love, I would accept anything she wants, but after all of this it’s simply not possible.” Avery acknowledged that as he turned to stare out the window again, this time without any hint of a dream still within him.
Chapter 4
“Avery, can you check to see if the cake’s here yet?” Daniel asked as he tried to fix his bowtie for the hundredth time. “I’m sure Lila will be out checking on it and don’t want to risk seeing her. If the cake’s not perfect she might just flip out.”
“I’ll go check,” Avery agreed letting the bowtie hang glad to stop trying to do it. He hated weddings, especially with all the information he’d learned about Colleen still rolling through his mind. He saw Lila heading to the reception area and stepped over to help her up the steps. “Daniel thought you’d go check on the cake.”
Lila smiled as she spied the back of the person arranging the cake layers.
“I just want to make sure it’s everything the bakery promised me it would be. Oh my gosh…it’s perfect,” Lila said hurrying over to the table.
