AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I know I shouldn’t push it, but I still can’t figure it out. Any of it. Seeing him in this new light is odd enough, but learning that he keeps this version of himself tucked away, hidden? Isn’t he worried about how it will look if someone finds out? Parents don’t typically keep their children a secret.
Then again, Roman is far from typical in any respect.
I swirl my spoon through my sundae, watching vanilla blend into chocolate. “You’re only remotely nice to me when Leo is around.”
“I was plenty nice to you last night.” He grows husky, his eyes glistening with heat.
My core burns at the memory of his mouth devouring me, latched between my legs. I clench my thighs together to ward off that desire. It doesn’t work.
“Stop. I told you that was a mistake.”
He rests his elbows on the table nonchalantly. “I don’t believe you, but for the sake of my son, I’ll let you pretend.”
My cheeks burn, and I think about throwing the spoon at him. Maybe even the whole bowl of ice cream, although that would be a delicious waste on an awful man.
Still, I wish there was a way to wipe his memory of all the times I’ve given in to him. I don’t need this smarmy, stifling attitude getting in the way of my job. Especially not when it feels like I’m treading down the same path I did before. Especially not when my past is so close by.
At the thought of Elio, I can’t help but glance around. It’s silly. He has no way of finding me. Still, I’ve felt the ghost of him watching me like a shadow on my back ever since the text.
When Roman frowns, I pretend my glances are for an entirely different reason. “Aren’t you afraid someone will catch you here?”
“Being as I can pay anybody three times the amount a journalist would to buy the story, no.”
“Right. You can fix anything as long as you have enough money.” I bow my head, tracing the stem of the sundae glass with my sticky fingers. I have the opposite problem: breaking everything because I had none.
“Speaking of money… what happened to yours?”
The question hits me like a jolt. Armor hardens like steel around me as I glower. “Excuse me?”
“I’m not a fool, Madison. You wouldn’t work for me if you had another choice — Brandon said as much when he was trying to convince me to hire you.”
My teeth grind down, and I pretend to be interested in Leo. His new friend pushes him on the swings, apparently stronger than she looks. “I’m not going to talk to you about my personal problems — especially not when you won’t answer my questions.”
Roman’s chest rises and falls with a sigh. He squints into the blinding afternoon sun before saying, finally, “Fine. An answer for an answer.”
My heart stutters midway through a beat, leaving me dizzy. I look up just to make sure he isn’t joking, but his features are as serious as ever.
“Fine. You first.” I don’t even know if this is a good idea. I can’t tell Roman about Italy. About Elio. But I’m itching to understand the reasons behind his actions, and if this is the only way, I might be willing to sacrifice a piece of myself.
“Fine,” his throat bobs, a trickle of sweat dripping down the back of his neck. “I never want him to feel like he’s being used as an accessory. I never want him to feel unsafe. I grew up as the son of a wealthy man, and that came with expectations. I would never wish to put those on Leo.”
I know there’s more, so I remain silent, astounded by his honesty. He picks at the tablecloth, a muscle in his jaw twitching.
“And I have built my image as a merciless, unrelenting force to be reckoned with. You don’t fall into a position like mine without becoming harsh and unwavering. I can’t be that with Leo, and I don’t want to be. My love for him could easily be used against me, or at least used as evidence of weakness. I won’t have that. People look at you differently when they discover you’re a father. They soften their image of you, see a heart where once there was none.”
“And God forbid that,” I whisper. “God forbid someone sees your heart.”
Our eyes lock, his stormy and mine, for once, clear. I see now. He’s afraid. Afraid for Leo and for himself. Afraid of what the public world might do to them.
I don’t know much about Roman’s father, only that he wasn’t the first or last Sterling to inherit and increase the family’s wealth. No doubt, Roman wouldn’t be the man he is without that. Privilege grows on privilege — I know that because I’m lucky enough to have a little of my own. I watched other people scrape through college with nothing, drowning in loans and a full-time job just to pay for their tuition. Neither Roman nor I will ever know what that feels like.
“I’m a businessman before anything else,” he says, slow and low. “Better they see me only as that.”
I nod. I suppose his world is full of sharks. Maybe he is doing Leo a favor, although I wish he would be a father before anything else. I wish it didn’t seem as though his company matters more than his son.
“And what about his mom?” I know I’m treading dangerous ground, especially when his blue eyes harden like marbles.
“That’s more than one question. Your turn.” His eyebrows flicker as he takes a spoonful of Leo’s ice cream, surprising me.
