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I lift a brow. Is she seriously condoning this relationship? Does she want Madison to be part of the family? Does she want her to be mine? “Madison is my employee. My son’s nanny.”
She rolls her eyes. “And Leo adores her. You can’t seriously believe that the boy only views Madison as his nanny. They’re practically joined at the hip!”
I pinch the bridge of my nose, feeling a headache forming behind my eyes. I can’t have this conversation. I can’t let myself believe that there is a world in which Madison and I actually work. I would only disappoint her with my distant demeanor and obsession with work, and she deserves better than that. She deserves a life with somebody. Somebody kind.
Only, imagining her with someone else makes my pulse thrum wildly in my veins. Makes nausea churn my stomach.
I can’t win with these feelings. Have I made a mistake in letting it get this far?
Mom pats my cheek, breaking me out of my spiral. “Stop overthinking. I can hear those silly worry cogs turning in your brain.”
I scowl, though she’s right. “I’m not worried because there’s nothing to worry about. Madison is my son’s nanny. Nothing more, nothing less.”
My mother opens her mouth to reply, but she freezes as she catches sight of something behind me. I turn, finding Madison fresh-faced with her damp hair tied in a knot on top of her head. “Morning. I wasn’t sure what the arrangement would be this morning, so…”
“Oh, same as usual. I’m leaving.” Mom bats her hand and goes back to her eggs. “Have you had breakfast, dear?”
“No, not yet. Leo and I usually eat together.”
As though summoned, a sleepy voice calls, “Madison!”
Leo appears in his oversized pajamas, tiredly rubbing his eyes as he approaches.
“Morning, bud,” I greet while Mom picks him up and twirls him around. It’s hard to watch. I don’t want her to feel like she has to leave, but I don’t know how to recover from last night’s argument yet. I need some time, and she knows me well enough to know that. A few years ago, she might not have left. She would have pushed and pushed until I erupted.
We all want to avoid that now.
It takes everything in me to sit at the table with the rest of them and eat breakfast. Like last night, it’s quiet and uncomfortable, the silence broken only by Leo getting scolded for smearing ketchup everywhere.
“Well…” Mom offers a shaky smile as she takes our plates and leaves them in the sink. “I should be off.”
“You’re leaving already?” Madison questions, surprised as she meets my gaze. I shrug.
“No, Grandma!” Leo runs to Mom and clings to her thin leg, and dread fills me. I never know when Leo is going to have issues with people leaving, but today, he clearly will.
“Leo, let your Grandma go. Come on.” I stand up and tug him away, but he only shouts, the first sign of an impending tantrum.
“Come here, Leo. Let’s take a breath so that you can say goodbye properly.” Madison scoops him up, and together they sway.
Leo pouts. “I don’t want Grandma to leave already.”
“I know, but you’ll see her again so soon. Right, Grandma?” I interject.
Mom is grinning, her eyes wet with emotion. My own gut clenches, because I know exactly what she’s thinking. Just like Madison blew me away with her gentle, caring nature, she’s having that same effect on Mom now. It will only spur her belief that the two of us should be together.
Honestly, it’s hard to think of a reason why we shouldn’t in moments like these. I couldn’t think of a better woman to help raise Leo.
That’s why you hired her as his nanny, asshole. She’s doing her damn job.
My chest constricts. All of this is getting too real.
While Madison soothes Leo, I follow Mom to the door out of sheer politeness.
“I’m sorry we didn’t get to spend much time together this time,” Mom says, clutching her suitcase. She peers behind me, down the hallway. “She’s wonderful, Roman. At least think about what I said.”
I grit my teeth, a few more words away from blowing up completely. “Goodbye, Mother.”
She places a peck on my cheek, and then she’s gone.
