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My instinct is to soothe her, so I gently drag my finger up and down the curve of her side, feeling her soft hips and hard ribcage beneath the lace and satin. She shivers against me, and I suppress a smile. It’s so damn easy to tug a reaction from her. I want to touch her always, want to see where her most sensitive spots are and what will drive her crazy.
“Oh, Roman is the ass who bought out thirty percent of my company,” Sherry replies teasingly.
I roll my eyes. “That company was on its ass before I stepped in. You’re welcome, by the way.”
Sherry waves her hands around. “Ugh, fine. I know, I know. You saved us all. You are God’s gift to business owners everywhere.”
“You saved her company?” Madison looks up at me in surprise, the intensity of her gaze knocking me off guard.
I gulp. “I don’t just do this to get richer, you know.”
“No, I didn’t know.” Her voice is soft. Barely there.
Sherry smirks, breaking the strange moment between us with a round of applause. “You married a decent guy, girlie. Congrats.” She turns her attention to the bar across the room. “I think I spot a martini calling my name. Excuse me.”
With a pat on my arm, Sherry disappears, leaving just the two of us. I should be scoping out the guests, too, searching for Reid, but I can’t tear my eyes from Madison.
She licks her lips cautiously. “You never told me that you save businesses, too.”
“You never asked.” I narrow my eyes. “Does it matter?”
She shakes her head softly. “No. I knew you were a good man. I just wish you wouldn’t keep hiding it from everyone. From me.”
A stone settles in my throat, rendering me speechless. Is that what I’ve been doing? Hiding away?
Maybe. Maybe I’m afraid that if we truly fell together, it would obliterate my entire life. I’m so used to my independence, my solitude. I’m used to making sure that nobody knows the broken, weaker parts of me.
If Madison saw those parts, if she saw all of me… Well, maybe she wouldn’t like what she saw. Maybe she’d find out that, below the surface, I’m damaged and unworthy.
Or maybe she would want me more. Maybe she would want to fix me, or maybe she would let me be vulnerable, only for it to blow up in our faces. I couldn’t deal with losing her, and neither could Leo. If it went wrong, I’d never be able to fix things with Brandon. My only family outside my mom would be gone.
I would have nobody left.
I should walk away, forget the whole thing, but I can’t. I’m drawn to her, and am certain I will be for the rest of my life. We will never go back to normality, not now. Not when I’ve felt her, tasted her, ravaged her. Not when I know how tender and funny and caring she can be.
I’m in trouble, and the worst part is that I’m not willing to get myself out of it.
Instead, I tip her chin and drag her in for a kiss. Her warmth sparks through me. She surrenders for just a moment before pulling away and frowning. “I’m having a hard time knowing what’s real and pretend now. Are we kissing for them, or for us?”
“For us,” I whisper. “You asked me to stop hiding away. That’s what I’m doing.”
“Here. In front of everybody?” Her throat bobs, and she braces her weight against my shoulders as though she’s too dizzy to stand.
I clutch the small of her back. “Yes. I want you, Madison. Desperately, I want you. Not just for pretend, and not just behind closed doors. I can’t…” I struggle to get the words out, but she caresses my jaw gently, coaxing them out of my mouth. “I want you. All of you, all the time.”
Fear glistens in her eyes, and I want so badly to kiss it away. “We would be risking everything. I’m Leo’s nanny. Brandon’s sister. If this ends badly…”
“Then let’s make sure it doesn’t end.” This time, when I kiss her, she opens her mouth to let me in. The string music playing around the venue comes to a shrill crescendo. My breath stops as our lips move together, bodies pressed against each other. I feel alive for the first time in a long time, electricity fizzing through every part of me like somebody plugged me into an energy source — and she is that energy source. She sustains me. She lights me up.
She awakens me.
Her fingers bunch in my shirt, our glasses threatening to spill any moment, but I can’t stop. Even in front of all these people, I can never stop.
“Will you dance with me?” she pleads finally, pulling away just enough to look at me. Her lipstick is smudged once more, and I use my thumb to swipe it away before replying.
She does the same, giggling as she wipes my mouth. Her skin smells heavenly: sweet perfume and rosewater soap.
I have never, ever wished to dance at one of these events before, but I can’t deny her. So, I set down our glasses and take her hand, tugging her onto the dancefloor with several other swaying couples. It feels surreal, every moment. I never thought I’d be here with her, dancing with her. I can feel eyes on me, Damon Reid’s included, but they hardly seem to matter anymore. The act is done. This is real, now.
