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Or was this my way of getting back control? Was it me using him?
My fear must be written all over my face because Roman softens without warning. “Madison?”
Slowly, I shake my head and back away. “Forget it. I won’t tell Brandon, okay?”
He’s still looking at me as though I’m a stranger, and I feel like one. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I turn around and head back into the kitchen, trembling as I grip the counter.
I need to stop this. I need to leave Italy behind and remember who I was before everything happened.
The din of the party outside feels like a world away, but I step towards it anyway.
Maybe if I keep pretending, everything will go back to normal.
CHAPTER4
Madison
o o o
Nobody acknowledges my swift exit earlier when I go back out into the garden. Brandon avoids eye contact as I help myself to another glass of champagne and down it in one. I need liquid courage to get me through this.
I feel Roman’s eyes on me through the mild evening as I chat with the guests, playing the perfect daughter just like I would before I left. Chloe returns not long after, keeping her distance from my brother as though she’s afraid to rub their love in my face.
It’s a little late for that.
I can almost pretend things are normal again for a while. The guests begin to filter away as the sunset bleeds into the sky.
“I have to get going,” I hear Roman say from not far away. Heat spills into me once more. I can’t stop thinking about the way he kissed me, how hard I made him. Was he so quick to grab me, ravage me, because he wanted to, or is he such a ladies’ man that it could have been anyone?
I don’t think I want to know the answer, but I still meet his gaze as he says his goodbyes. He tips his head to me, his expression sober and unreadable and his voice a gravelly rumble. “Goodbye, Madison.”
It’s about the politest he’s been to me all night, and it’s probably for everyone else’s sake. “Bye.”
I feel empty as I watch him go.
Chloe leaves later, placing a kiss on Brandon’s cheek and muttering something to him. He almost looks worried, and a sharp slice of fear runs through me. Did she tell him what she saw? Would she?
But Brandon kisses her once more, and nothing else is said. If he knew, there’d already be a Brandon-shaped hole in the fence, and he’d be well on his way to hunting down Roman. I find myself relieved. I thought I wanted revenge, but maybe I’m not that brave.
Or maybe I am still me.
We start cleaning up shortly after, the night growing chilly around me. As I pile all the leftover food onto one of Mom’s ornate plates, Brandon sidles up beside me. “Hey.”
I ignore him. I don’t want to have this conversation now, especially not after he blanked me all afternoon. I can feel Mom’s watchful gaze on us across the garden as she rearranges the outdoor furniture under the twinkling lights. She’s always hated it when we fight, and I don’t want to be the daughter who comes home and immediately brings tension into the house, but it isn’t that simple.
“Come on, Mads. Don’t give me the silent treatment.” He puts a hand between my shoulder blades and waits expectantly. “I’m sorry about the way you found out, okay? I didn’t think. I just… I’m happy.”
“I’m so glad you’re happy.” Sarcasm laces my voice as I push past him to the next plates.
“Is it that awful? You love Chloe. You must surely want her to be happy, too.”
I stop, my knuckles turning white where I grip the plates. I can only hope the delicate porcelain won’t shatter. “It isn’t about that. It’s about the fact nobody bothered to tell me. I leave for a year, and suddenly my best friend is your girlfriend — or, she was because apparently, I missed that part altogether.”
He blows out a patient huff. “Chloe wanted to tell you, but it was difficult. With the time zones and how busy you were, it never felt like the right time.”
“So you figured you’d break the news in a garden full of people.”
“I wanted to share my joy.”
