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While my relationship with my parents had been alright, we had never been close, and when they passed it was a sort of matter of fact cycle of life sort of thing. I didn’t want a kid to grow up like that. I wanted them to know that they were loved, cherished, the light of someone’s life. Even if I wasn’t with their mother, I would still be a provider, be part of their life and ready to help them whenever they needed.
I was so deep in thought, that time passed much more quickly than I had anticipated, and before I knew it, it was time to pick Nicole up again. Had it really already been an hour and a half? I felt like I hadn’t come to much of a conclusion even though life was definitely demanding that I make one, and quickly.
I pulled up to her work at 6 pm on the dot, and she was out a few minutes later, looking around covertly as if she was afraid of someone seeing us. I couldn’t help but wonder why she was so dodgy around her coworkers, but I guessed that would be something I would find out as I talked to her.
She got in the passenger’s side and quickly buckled up. It was noticeably awkward, and for a few minutes I had no idea what to say.
“Are you sure the child is mine?” Were the first words out of my mouth and I regretted them instantly.
“Yeah,” she said with a sigh, not seeming offended in the least. “The first time I’ve had fun in over a year and I certainly got all the consequences. But like I said, you don’t have to worry about it. I’m fully prepared to look after our little bean on my own.”
I nodded, not saying something one way or the other, my mind still too full and shocked to figure out what I needed to do. “Do you have a place where you’d like to eat?”
“Do you like Italian?” She asked. “There’s this cute little place call Rizzo’s that has the best cannelloni.”
“That will do then.” I nodded and plugged the name into my car’s dashboard GPS, driving off in the direction that it described.
Both of us tried to make small talk in the car, but each attempt floundered. So much was whipping through my head, I couldn’t help but wonder if I was going to get a headache from all of the work. While I was still processing the shock that I may or may not have a child of my own making running around the Earth in less than six short months, I could also see more flashes of the time Nicole and I had spent together. Her golden skin against my paleness, her breasts bouncing as I thrust into her. It was an appealing set of images, even if they were entirely inappropriate considering the situation.
Thankfully, it was a short drive to the little Italian place, and it actually had its own parking lot with available spaces, something that was pretty rare in both Vegas and my city. I found one close to the side of the blue building, then parked.
I walked around the car, intent on holding Nicole’s door open for her, but by the time I’d traveled around, she was already out and on the ground. She was stretching a bit, her hands high above her head, and that pulled the fabric of her shirt that much more snuggly around her baby bump.
It was quite small, as far as I knew, but then again, she was just coming out of her first trimester. I found myself wondering what that meant. Did the baby have nails? Hair? Did it know her voice but not mine? That thought upset me, but I quickly shoved it down so that I wouldn’t have to think about why.
I walked up to the hostess and she showed us to a booth in the back. It was like the universe knew that we had important things to discuss and had given us a break considering the mess we were in.
Almost immediately after we sat down, a server came up to us, laying down napkins and glasses of water. I ordered us a fairly standard appetizer and a gin and tonic for myself, then sat back to see what Nicole had to say.
“I’m keeping it,” she blurted, eyes wide and I could see her pulse rushing at the side of her neck. “I know I mentioned it before, but I want you to know that there is nothing you can do to make me change my mind. You don’t have to be in its life, but it’s going to live, one way or the other.”
I nodded slowly. “And that I understand. While this baby is not planned for me, and certainly not going to be a convenience, I would never try to convince you to do otherwise.” I paused for a moment, realizing her mini-speech had left me with a question. “But why ‘it’? Do you not know the sex yet?”
