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Actually, I was still catching up to everything. James had been a dream the entire shopping spree, and when everything was all said and done, he had hired movers, so I didn’t have to lift a finger. He had hired movers and I was still exhausted. I couldn’t imagine how I would feel if I had to do any physical labor myself.
It was just approaching seven pm. We really had spent eight hours shopping and telling the movers where to put what, and now it was time for James to go.
The two of us stood there, facing each other, the workers long gone and the apartment now full of things.
“Well, I guess I better go now,” he said, filling up so much space in the room. Space that would be so empty without him. How could I miss a man I hardly knew? Was it the hormones? Had to be the hormones.
“There are flights going out this late?” I asked, trying not to sound too interested.
“I have a friend with a private jet who wanted to come see the new branch that I’m opening. We leave by eight, arrive by midnight, it’s pretty ideal.”
“Eight? It’s seven ten now. Shouldn’t you be on your way?”
“Yeah… I suppose I should.”
The moment hung heavy in the air between us, like both of us were locked in place by some type of impregnable sludge that wouldn’t let us move.
Ugh. Maybe impregnable was not an appropriate word to use in the situation.
“I guess… I’ll see you later?” I didn’t mean for it to come out as a question but that’s exactly what it was. I felt like I had been swept up in a whirlwind and deposited in the Land of Oz.
Did that make me Dorothy? Or Toto?
“Well, here’s my number,” he said, handing me his card. “Please call me if you need anything, or if there are any big updates.”
“Yeah… yeah of course I’ll do that.”
I took his card, holding it between my two hands like it was some sacred vessel. Why was I acting so strange? He was just a man and it was just a number.
“Well, I should be going.”
“Yeah…” I took a step towards him, my face tilting upward like it had the few times that we had kissed. My heart was thundering in my chest and my palms were clammy.
He took a half step forward to, his hand coming up like it was going to caress my face. I tilted my head, wanting to lean into it, wanting to feel his touch, but for some inexplicable reason, we stopped.
We stood there, frozen in time, and the second seemed to last forever. Neither of us moved, I couldn’t tell if either of us were breathing.
Then, as suddenly as it started, it was over.
“Please, take care of yourself.”
“I…I will.”
And then he turned around and walked out the door.
I stared after him, listening to his footsteps down the hall, but the door was so well made that once it closed, all sounds were muffled. I couldn’t even hear the elevator or know if he had taken the stairs.
I stood there, in a strange sort of bewilderment. I had everything I could ever want. I had a great apartment, insurance now. I wouldn’t have to worry about anything as long as I played it straight and kept my nose to the grind.
I sank to my knees, the hardwood floors stinging my knees, but the pain felt nice. It gave me something to be upset about. It gave me a reason to be on the edge of tears.
And so, I sat there, for goodness knows how long, wondering what the hell was wrong with me, well into the night. When I finally did have enough wherewithal to shower and put myself to bed, I found myself unable to sleep.
Whatever it was. I needed to get over it, and fast.
Chapter Twenty
~James~
My return flight had been… strange. The entire time I was flying through the air I wanted nothing more than to turn right around and go back to Nicole. Between planning for the baby, making sure she was settled and just enjoying her fine company, going back to the office seemed like pure torture.
But I had to, so I did. A person didn’t get to have a successful company at my age by faffing off and doing whatever they wanted. No, I had responsibilities back home and for the moment they trumped my responsibilities to Nicole.
Besides, I would get a chance to visit for the signing of divorce papers and everything else that we needed to work out. Admittedly, I’d been so shocked by the baby and the corresponding whirlwind that I had created, that I’d almost completely forgotten about all the ducks that needed to be in a row for the divorce. I needed to make sure I didn’t do that again.
