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“Where are we?” I asked with a lilting sigh, James’ lips now pressing against my neck and making their way down to my collarbone.
“Does it matter?” He asked, voice low and primal. I loved it when he talked like that, and I felt like I hadn’t been able to hear it in ages.
“I guess not,” I said, lifting my arms so that he could slide the fabric up my arms and off of me. His warm lips made their way down my collarbone to my chest, kissing the space between my breasts as his arms slid behind me to undo my bra.
I looked down and noticed my body was back to normal, no post-baby diaper, or the strange way my stomach sat now that there wasn’t another human inside of it. I was just my soft, curvy self.
I didn’t get to concentrate on that for long, however, as one of his hands slid down into my skirt, stoking at the cotton fabric there.
I gasped in earnest and lifted my hips up to meet his touch, but he was forever pulling away, keeping me just within teasing range.
I groaned, and he just chuckled into my skin. “God, I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve been here the whole time,” I objected, my other hand burying itself into his thick, light hair.
“I know, but I had to keep you safe. Protecting you is the most important thing in the entire world.”
I didn’t know why, but that made me sad. “You and I both know that’s not true.”
He looked down at me, surprise written across his handsome features. “Why do you say that?”
“Because your company is the most important thing to you. It has to be. Without it, you can’t support yourself, Kireina or me. You would lose everything, and a lot of your employees could end up struggling too, losing their jobs or even their houses and cars.
“You have a responsibility to all of them, to yourself and to us and all of your employees to make your work the most important thing in your life, and I’ve been distracting you from that.”
“Is that what you think?” he asked, looking more amused than I thought he should be after my declaration. “Is that why you won’t tell me that you love me?”
My heart skipped a beat and I just stared up at him in shock. “You knew?”
“Of course, I knew. How could I not? I feel it every time we look at each other, every time we touch. I love it, and I love you as well.”
“Then why didn’t you say so?” I asked, mind reeling from the revelation.
“Because this is a dream, the one place you’re brave enough to talk about what you actually need.”
My eyes snapped open and suddenly I was awake.
Dammit.
I went to sit up, but I felt a heavy arm around my waist. Oh. James was behind me in bed. That was right, we laid down to sleep around ten pm, and my mom had set herself up in the living room to play with Kireina after her nap a couple of hours earlier and tire her out for the rest of the night.
My eyes flicked to the crib to see my precious little baby there as well, sleeping away like the good girl she was. Another quick glance to the alarm clock beside my bed told me that it was almost six am, which was usually when Kireina would start to wake up for feeding, burping and walk around time.
I was already on a rhythm, which was especially great considering that James was leaving in just a few hours.
I rolled over in bed to see him, looking over every one of his strong, carved out features. This man, this one lonely, amazing man, had completely changed my life. Did he understand just how much he had completely altered the course of my life? Sometimes I felt like he did, and sometimes I felt like there was no possible way that he could.
But he had, he really truly and completely had changed everything forever for me and I couldn’t imagine it being any better than it was right now.
Well, that wasn’t true. It would be better if we were together. Like, actually together, not this weird baby mama, friends with benefits thing we had going on right now.
I thought back to dream-James and what he had said. Could it be possible that James had the same feelings for me? I supposed I would never know if I didn’t open my mouth, but for some reason I was frozen in place.
I wasn’t sure how much time passed, but eventually Kireina let out a warbling cry. James’ eyes opened slowly, and he gave me a sleepy sort of crooked smile. “You want me to bring her over here?” he asked.
“No, it’s fine,” I said, pushing off the covers and sliding out of bed. I pulled her out of her crib and walked back to James, sitting on the edge of the mattress while I got situated to feed her.
