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Hartley gave Calla a dress to wear today. She doesn’t know what I have planned, no one does. I just asked her for something for my girl to wear and a dress was provided. Though, I have to say, none of the ol’ ladies are stupid so there’s not a doubt in my mind that she has an idea about what I’m doing today. Calla still doesn’t know anything though. I’m sure my plan is the last thing she’d ever expect from me. That’s why I’m not sure if she’ll go along with it or not. Only time will tell because we’re about to take off and leave for town.
“You still won’t tell me where we’re going?” Calla asks as I help her into my truck.
“Nope. You’ll find out in less than fifteen minutes,” I tell her just before I shut the door and head around to get in the driver’s seat.
Starting the truck, I pull out and leave the compound. I grab Calla’s hand and place it on my thigh as I drive us through town and head toward the courthouse. This isn’t exactly the way I wanted to do this shit, but time is of the essence because our next hour is never guaranteed. That’s what I’ve learned from this entire situation. While I didn’t see my life going this way, I wouldn’t change a single fucking thing about it. Except what I’m about to do today. I want to move forward with my family and make sure they’re both tied to me for the rest of our lives. It’s not enough to be tied to Calla through our son.
Calla watches out the window as I look at her every so often. She’s trying to figure out what I’m doing and where I’m taking her based on where I’m heading. I watch her reaction when I pull into the courthouse parking lot. Confusion fills her face as she looks around. There’s nothing to indicate why I’m bringing her here. Though, I can guess that she’s thinking of the worst case scenarios as I look at her and shut the truck off.
“What’s going on, Billy? Are you taking me to court for Zane?” she questions, her voice wavering.
“No, I’m not. Calla, yesterday showed me just how precious our lives are. We don’t know how much time we have here and I’m not about to waste another second when it comes to you and Zane. So, I brought you here to the courthouse so we can get married. You gave our son my last name when you had him and I’m about to make sure your name matches ours. Calla, I have loved you since the second I saw you in school. Losin’ you for those years, fuckin’ killed me. Then you come back and blow my entire world apart. I learn I’ve got a kid and you’re back in town. So close but holdin’ yourself back from me because of your father. He’s taken more than enough from us and it’s time for us to live our lives the way we want to. For me, that means makin’ you my wife so the world knows who you belong to,” I tell her, not sure if I’m saying the right words or not.
Calla looks at me with a few tears sliding down her face. She doesn’t say anything to me as we sit in silence in my truck. I’m not sure what the fuck to think as I keep looking at her. My nerves are getting the better of me the longer we sit in silence and Calla doesn’t say a fucking word in response to what I just said to her.
“Calla, we can keep the marriage in name only. There’s no reason for us to move any faster than what you’re ready for. I’m not expectin’ you to jump in bed with me or anythin’ else,” I add on, not sure if that will help this situation or not.
“Billy, I’ll give you this for now. If, at any time, you want out of this, you have to promise that you’ll tell me. I don’t ever want to hold you back or make you regret anything that involves me,” Calla finally says, her voice small and barely above a whisper.
“Calla, if this wasn’t somethin’ I wanted to do, I wouldn’t be doin’ it. That part of me hasn’t changed in all the time we’ve been apart. I told you before I wasn’t sure if I could forgive you or not for keepin’ Zane from me. Yesterday, I told you that I was forgettin’ about it. There’s no time to waste since nothin’ in life is guaranteed,” I tell her, lifting her hand to my mouth and kissing the back of it. “I don’t have the pretty words you deserve or anythin’ else you need, Calla. What I do have is your back. I’ll give you everythin’ you’ll ever need and make sure you’re as happy as I can possibly make you. There isn’t anythin’ I won’t do for Zane and you, Calla. I’ll give you the world and treat you like my fuckin’ queen because that’s what you are.”
I get out of the truck and make my way around to the passenger side. Calla lets me help her down from the seat of my truck and I don’t let go of her hand as we make our way into the courthouse. We’ve got a judge who is a friend and I head straight for his office. He doesn’t hesitate to marry Calla and me. I’ve got the license Zeus got for us already and in a matter of minutes Calla is now my wife. I even have her engagement ring and our wedding bands. I bought them years ago when I saw them in the store and knew one day I’d have her back again. I just didn’t think we’d have a ready-made family.
“I love you, Calla,” I tell her as we leave the courthouse as man and wife. “I’ve always loved you and I don’t think there’s anythin’ that will ever make me stop.”
“I love you too, Billy. It’s always been only you. There hasn’t been another man in my life since I left you,” she responds, pressing her lips against the underside of my jaw in a soft kiss.
I don’t know what it is about hearing that I’m still the only man she’s ever been with, but I’m ready to fuck Calla until she remembers what we had between us before. However, I’m not about to push her for more than she’s ready for and that’s a promise I’ll keep. Calla is going to lead this relationship and when we have sex. I’m not about to be a monster like her fucking father was. Nothing will happen that my wife isn’t ready for. Or my son. My life revolves around them and I will ensure they know that through my actions and not what I say. Calla doesn’t trust and I’m not about to break promises to her when I can show her just how I’m going to treat her.
Chapter Eleven
BILLY AND I have been married for just over two weeks now. When he pulled into the courthouse parking lot, I literally thought he was taking me to court to take Zane away from me. Instead, we got married by a Judge. Billy promised we’d have the wedding of my dreams later down the road when I’m ready for that step. For now, he’s content to have me as his wife and know that we’re tied together. There’s never been a doubt in my mind about Billy being the man I want my life tied to. I’m just not sure if this is really what he wants or if he’s doing it because he thinks I’m going to disappear again with our son. I wouldn’t ever take Zane away from Billy. Zane already loves his dad and it would kill him to be away from the man he’s just getting to know.
That’s why I haven’t given in to my need to share a bed with Billy. I want him more than I want to take my next breath. However, he needs time to realize if this is something he wants or if it was a mistake on his part. By us not consummating the marriage, he can get an easy annulment if he decides this isn’t what he wants in his life. Being married to someone is different than what a person thinks it is. Not every day is going to be a good one. We’re going to have fights, get upset with one another, and want to push the other away. It’s going to be a constant battle and I know I’m up for the fight, I just hope Billy is too. I will always fight for him and do what I can to protect him as much as I’ll protect our son. It’s why I never once told him what was going on with my father. I will always do what I think is best for Billy and Zane. Even if my heart breaks in the process.
Today, Billy and Zane are spending time together. I guess Billy’s a float and goes to whatever business needs help at the time. Since they’re all fully staffed and ready to work, he’s got the day off. They’re currently out walking around the compound and playing or something. I don’t really care what they do as long as they’re spending time together. Zane needs his dad and I want them to spend as much time together as they can. If that means I’m left to my own devices, that’s okay. So, I asked Hartley if I could bake something to occupy my time. She gave me the approval and told me I didn’t have to ask permission to do something in the clubhouse. In my mind, I do because this isn’t my clubhouse and I’m just a visitor here.
Pulling out what I need to make chocolate chip cookies and brownies from scratch, I set everything on the island and find everything I need to get to work. There’s a small radio in the kitchen and I turn it on to a country station. I really don’t care what music I listen to, but it’s most often country when I’m alone. Most of the songs just seem to resonate with me and times throughout my life. Singing along, I get to work and try to push everything from my mind. I don’t want to think about anything for a little while.
I’m mixing the cookie dough when someone walks in the kitchen. I don’t turn my attention to them as I continue working. It’s probably someone wanting to get something to eat or clean up the room. Hartley did tell me that the club girls, or Rebels as they’re called, have to clean the clubhouse during the day as part of them being allowed to stay here. If someone wants to talk to me, they’ll get my attention when they’re ready to talk. I’m used to being alone and not spending time with anyone other than my son. Conversations with other adults aren’t really my strong suit and I’m often awkward and don’t know what to say.
“So, you’re the skank that Shank married,” a woman finally says, her voice hard and edgy.
Turning my attention to the woman, it’s not someone I’ve seen here before. I’ve made sure to know every single woman here so I can avoid them when I’m not in my room or in Billy’s with him.
“What? You think you’re too good to answer me,” she continues when I don’t answer her but continue to look at her. “That’s okay. I got something to say and you can listen to me instead of trying to act as if you're tough shit. You don’t mean shit to Shank or anyone else here. I know your marriage is in name only. The two of you don’t even share a room here at the clubhouse. No one is going to believe this farce you’ve managed to put together for very long. And, that’s not all you have to worry about. There’s more important shit coming your way and you’re not prepared for it. I’m gonna enjoy watching the show and seeing you lose everything you love or care about.”
“I’m not going to lose anything. And what’s between Shank and me is none of your business. It’s between the two of us and no one else needs to know what’s going on in our lives. We make our own decisions and will move forward when the time is right,” I finally say, my voice stronger than I thought it would be.
“You’re gonna lose everything, bitch,” she sneers back at me.
“I don’t even know who you are. You come in here when I’ve never seen you at the clubhouse before. See, the thing about me is I grew up with a fucking monster. I’ve learned to pay attention to my surroundings and know who’s around me. You waltz in here like you own the place when I can guarantee that if I ask anyone here if they’ve ever seen you before they won’t know you. So, I suggest you get the fuck out of here before someone comes in and catches you where you don’t belong,” I tell her, not sure if that means anything since I’m not an ol’ lady or anything here in the clubhouse.
“I’m not going anywhere. Not until I have what I came for,” she states, turning to leave the kitchen as I look to see Hartley standing in the doorway of the kitchen.
“And what is it you think you’re here to get? See, Calla’s right. You don’t belong here. I’ve never seen you before in my life and there isn’t a single reason I can think of you being here now. So, why don’t you tell me who you are and what you came here for,” Hartley says, making sure the woman can’t get past her and out into the clubhouse loose.
“I don’t have to tell you shit. You’re nothing more than another skank here in the clubhouse and more than likely have work to do.”
