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“Then you work your fuckin’ magic and get the information we need in minutes and don’t let this shit drag out. Let her touch your arm or somethin’ but don’t let her cross any lines. Act like you don’t fuck around in public. No one’s really seen you fuck the Rebels in the common room or anythin’. So that’s a plausible story. And this bitch doesn’t know shit about our club so she’ll believe anythin’ you tell her. Just do what you gotta do and we’ll take care of Calla while you’re doin’ it. I’ve got your back no matter what and I’ll always be there to help you in any way you need. Now, let’s get this shit done so you can come hang out with your niece for a while,” Boxer says, his voice starting to calm me down the slightest bit because I do know he’ll have my back.
“I gotta get my family out of here if I’m gonna do this, Boxer. I can’t have them under the same roof as me betrayin’ them. Because that’s what I’m fuckin’ doin’.”
“Then let’s get them out of here so we can get this shit over with and move on with our lives. Calla and your son need you and it’s time for you to be with them the way you really want to. Once this shit is over with, you can explain the situation to Calla and not have any secrets between the two of you,” Boxer says with a smile on his face.
Boxer and I make our way back in the clubhouse. He heads to the bar to have a drink with everyone while I make my way up to our rooms to see Calla and Zane. Anger is still coursing through me with every step I take. I want to tell her what’s going on and what’s been asked of me by the club, but I’ve been ordered not to. Will Lash fucking do this shit? Would he jeopardize his relationship with Hartley to handle club business? For the first time in my life, I’m questioning my position in the club and if I’ll remain here. I don’t see Judge asking me to do this shit but Lash is.
Opening up my door, I find Calla and Zane laying in my bed and watching some cartoon on the TV. My son is laughing his ass off at whatever they’re watching and it brings a smile to my face. He’s so carefree and innocent. The incident with Calla’s father is all but forgotten as he gets through each day. I can’t say the same for Calla and I, but we try to pretend as if we’re not remembering him being taken away from us quicker than the blink of an eye. All it takes is one second for something to happen and we could’ve had an entirely different outcome.
“Hey, babe,” Calla greets me, finally looking away from the TV and seeing me stand in the doorway of my room. “You okay?”
Calla doesn’t miss how tight my body is right now. She knows something is going on but I’m not sure I can tell her what it is. I don’t want to see the pain in her eyes or know that I upset her because of something I don’t have any control over. All I know is if Lash wants me to do this shit then I need to make sure my family is protected. If something happens and I lose my wife and son from this shit, I don’t think I’ll be able to remain here. I’m not Boxer. I can’t just forget this shit and try to move on with my life. Regardless of how much time I’m given to do so.
“I’m okay. I’ve been thinkin’. I’m gonna talk to Lash about gettin’ a house here on the compound for us. Somethin’ we can start over in and live the rest of our lives. We’ll be safe behind the gate of the compound when shit goes down and have our own space while still bein’ close to the members and ol’ ladies. You can work on gettin’ to know everyone at your own pace. For now, maybe we should move back into your house. Get Zane out of the clubhouse and back on some sort of routine and sense of normalcy,” I tell Calla, hating that I’m not giving her the entire truth of the matter.
“Are you sure that’s what you wanna do?” Calla asks as she sits up straighter in the bed and looks at me.
“Yeah. I can live anywhere, baby. But I’m not gonna leave the two of you alone. There will be times I have to be here for church and shit, but I’ll always come home to you,” I promise her, my voice letting her know how serious I am about this.
“Okay, Billy. We can go back there whenever you want to. My only concern is Zane and how he’s gonna feel about being back in that room,” Calla says, running her fingers through his hair as he remains watching whatever show or movie is playing.
“We’ll help him deal with it as things come up, Calla Lily. For now, we can change things up and make the room look different. Or one of us can hang out with him until he can fall asleep. We’ll make it work in any way we can,” I assure my wife as I finally move in the room and take a seat on the edge of the bed.
Zane finally pulls his attention away from the TV and gets up from his position in bed to come give me a hug. Holding him in my arms, I make a silent vow to myself. I will do whatever the fuck I have to in order to make sure my family is safe and whole. That Calla will forgive me for how things are gonna seem when I’m completing this next task for my supposed family. When this is all said and done, I’ll figure out what my next move is. For now, I’m gonna work on getting my family out of the clubhouse and away from the assholes who are putting me in a horrible position.
“Buddy, I need to talk to you about somethin’. Can you sit down for a minute?” I ask Zane as he takes a seat next to me and pays close attention to what I’m about to say. “We’re gonna move back into your house. I’m gonna go with you. We can change the room or whatever you need so you feel safe in the one place your mom has made a home for the two of you. And know that no one is ever gonna hurt you again. I won’t let anyone get close to touchin’ you or your mommy as long as I’m here, buddy.”
Zane looks between the two of us as he thinks over what I said. For a minute he doesn’t say anything and I worry that he’s not ready for us to be back there. For him to personally be back there where he was kidnapped and taken from his bed. However, Calla and I both underestimate our son when he finally begins speaking.
“We can go back there. I don’t need the room changed because I know no one will hurt me again. I’ve got you and Mommy and everyone here that will protect us. I’m ready to go home,” Zane tells us, proving he’s older than his age and has more wisdom in his little mind than most adults do. This fucking kid kills me.
Pulling Zane into my arms, I hold him tight while looking over his head toward Calla. She’s smiling at our boy while her eyes fill with tears. Zane proves every day how fucking strong he is and this is simply one more example of his strength.
“Alright, buddy. Then, why don’t we gather our things up and get ready to head home. We can veg out the rest of the day in our own space and then I’ll order us in dinner because I’m sure nothin’ is good in the refrigerator now. We’ve been here for a few weeks and I’m sure things have spoiled by now,” I tell them, letting Calla know we’ll have to get groceries at some point in the next day or so.
Zane gets out of bed and starts getting the few things he has here together. Calla and I also grab our things. While they don’t have much here, I have everything. I get a bag and fill it with clothes, my toiletries, and anything else I think I’ll need to take with me to the house I’ll be in with my family. As soon as we’re ready, the three of us make our way out of the room and down to the common room. Everyone is sitting around with a drink or just talking with one another. I don’t say a word to any of them as I keep my eyes away from Lash.
“Shank, where you goin’?” Lash calls out just as we reach the door.
“I’m takin’ my family home. Is that okay? Or should I have gotten a vote on the matter? Or maybe just made a decision and not given any fuckin’ thought to anyone else in the situation?” I bark out without stopping my forward movement or looking in his direction.
“Shank, stop. Let’s fuckin’ talk about this shit,” Lash demands, his voice hard and cold as I hear his chair scrape back against the floor.
“Nothin’ to talk about, President. You’ve made your opinion extremely clear on the matter. It doesn’t matter what happens to anyone else because at the end of the fuckin’ day, your family will be whole while that can’t necessarily be said for anyone else here. Or one family in particular. Got some thinkin’ to do and I’m not sure if I’ll be back for a few days. Let me know when I need to show up I guess,” I tell him, still not looking at him and letting the door slam behind me as I leave the club behind.
Calla is staring at me, trying to figure out what the hell is going on and what I’m talking about. I can’t tell her and it’s fucking killing me. Giving her the best smile I can, I help her get Zane into her car along with all of our bags before making my way over to my bike. Calla pulls out and I follow her to the house I’ll be calling mine for the foreseeable future. At least until I make a few decisions about what comes next for me. And what happens moving forward with the club. Maybe I need to call Judge and see what he thinks about the situation and if he’d let me transfer to his club. Something to think about.
Chapter Fifteen
WE’VE BEEN BACK in the house for a few days now. Zane is doing so much better than I thought he would after everything happened. He’s not having nightmares, isn’t afraid to go in his room, and plays and acts as if nothing happened here a few weeks ago. I’ve gone through the entire house and cleaned it from top to bottom since I have a little bit more time off work and nothing to do with my time while Billy is working and Zane’s at school. While Billy floats from one business to the other, he also takes care of all the accounts and shit. That doesn’t take a lot of time for him so that’s why he goes to help out whatever business needs him that day. Or he hangs out at the clubhouse and helps Zeus if he’s working on something.
There’s something going on with Billy. He’s rarely at the clubhouse unless he gets a call from someone and then he takes off without saying a word to me. I get a kiss goodbye and he makes sure to tell Zane he’ll be home that night. That’s about all we get though. The few times I’ve tried talking to him about what’s bothering him, I’m told one of two things—club business or it’s nothing. I might not know Billy as I once did, but I know him good enough to realize something is weighing heavy on his mind and it’s causing him to retreat into himself. He’s not exactly pushing Zane and me away, but he’s making it clear that there’s a divide between us now.
The last few nights he’s been at the clubhouse later and later. When he comes home, he’s drunk and has taken a shower and changed clothing. I see the new clothes covering his body because I’m rarely asleep when he walks in the door. Call it my intuition or whatever you want. While I don’t believe Billy is cheating on me, there’s something going on and he’s not allowed to tell me. That’s what the conversation with Lash was about when we left to come back here. It doesn’t give me the answers I want, but it gives me some kind of insight as to what’s going on. So, for now, I’m putting my trust and faith into Billy and hoping he will eventually be able to tell me what’s going on.
I absolutely hate Billy being at the clubhouse when I’m not there with him. The Rebels are vicious and try to rub all over the men regardless of if they’re single or not. I’ve seen it happening more times than I can count when we were staying there. Not all the Rebels are like that, but a few of them don’t really care. They’re out for themselves and only themselves. They want to become an ol’ lady and move their status in the club up. While I can’t understand why they’d ever want to become someone who sleeps with the men of the club, it’s not my choice to make. Especially when I’m only a wife to Billy and not an ol’ lady. He hasn’t even talked to me about being an ol’ lady. However, I’m not about to talk to Billy about this or anyone else. Hartley either sees what’s happening, or she doesn’t. I’m not about to bring more trouble to her when it’s my own feelings and nothing more than that.
Tonight is another night he’s spending at the clubhouse. He said something about going to play poker with Boxer and some of the guys or something. I’m not sure if that’s really what he’s doing, but I didn’t question him either. If Billy needs to work something out on his own, then he has to do whatever is needed to get his head wrapped around what’s going on in his life. When he’s ready to talk to me about things, he’ll let me know. Until then, I have to keep my focus on our son and make sure he gets through each day and I don’t miss something going on with him. So, that’s what I’m trying to do.
