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“No, we really don’t. What I need to do is figure out a visitation schedule with my husband and move forward with a divorce. Like I said, I’m not part of the club by any means and there’s no reason for me to be involved for any reason. I appreciate you stopping by, but it’s really not necessary. Sorry you wasted the trip,” I tell them, starting to shut the door once again.
“Calla, please,” Hartley says, her voice breaking as she looks at me. “I’ll keep Zane occupied while Lash explains things to you. And the reason he’s been acting so fucking stupid lately.”
It seems I’m not the only female pissed off and upset with a biker today. Giving them one last look, I open the door further and let them walk in past me. Zane comes down and Hartley distracts him while Lash follows me into the kitchen so I can clean up from breakfast.
“Calla, what you saw last night wasn’t Shank cheatin’ on you. When the shit with Precious was brought to church, I made the order for him to let her get close to him. To make her believe that she was gettin’ under his skin and he’d leave you for her. He wouldn’t ever leave you for her, Calla. Shank is so fuckin’ pissed off and has been since I made the order for him to do this and not tell you. If you happened to see anythin’, I wanted real reactions so this bitch wouldn’t see through what we were doin’. I made the call and it was wrong.
“The night she started hangin’ out at the clubhouse, Shank made a stipulation of his own. Hartley was to be there every night so you’d know he wasn’t cheatin’ on you. After you left last night, everyone went off on me. Shank even punched me. My wife is barely talkin’ to me too. Calla, I’m sorry I did this to you. Made you feel as if you couldn’t trust your husband when you can. Precious has only ever touched his arm and sat next to him. Shank made sure of it. She’s tried to do more, but he’s shut it down every single time,” Lash informs me as I quickly wash the few dishes from this morning.
“So why make the call you did if you knew Shank didn’t want to go along with it?” I question him, turning to face him so I can see if I’m getting told the truth or not.
“Because I didn’t care who was hurt in the process of findin’ out the information we needed. I felt it was the best way to protect the club instead of realizin’ one of my brothers had so much on the line. I did the same thing a while ago with my own brother. I hesitated and didn’t want to move forward to rescue Makena when we should have. Honestly, it’s not even about protectin’ my club. It’s about takin’ the least amount of risks for me. As long as my family is safe and whole, that’s all that mattered to me. And I can’t even tell you why I’ve felt that way. Please, Calla, talk to Shank and let him back in. This isn’t on him and I won’t ever put him in the position of this again,” Lash says, his voice begging as he remains looking at me. “I’d also like you to know, you are part of the club. Part of our family. Not just because you’re Shank’s wife but because you’re the perfect ol’ lady. Wearin’ a rag and bein’ claimed doesn’t make someone ol’ lady material, Calla. The woman she is and how she goes through her life is what makes a woman an ol’ lady. Remember that.”
Lash and Hartley didn’t stick around the house for very long after we finished talking. Hartley still hasn’t forgiven her husband and I don’t know how long it will be before she does. I can say I appreciate them coming over and telling me what was going on, but they should have done it from the beginning. This is something that involves me and more than club business. I can’t protect my son or myself unless I know what’s going on. And after living with my father for so long, my reactions would still have been real by seeing Billy and another woman in front of me. I can’t explain how I know that, but I do.
Picking up my phone, I send a message to Billy.
Me: If you want to talk, you can come over. I told Zane you had a meeting early this morning or something at the clubhouse. He was asking where you were. I’m starting dinner soon and you can join us if you’d like. For Zane, not me.
Setting my phone down on the counter next to me, I go back to making the lasagna that I’ve been wanting to eat for a few days now. Zane loves pasta and anything like that so he’s on board with lasagna, garlic bread, and salad for our dinner tonight. After Lash and Hartley left, I also made a cake, apple pie, and some peanut butter blossoms. I had to keep myself busy for a while as I figured out whether or not to talk to Billy today.
My phone vibrates on the counter and I look over to see a response from Billy.
Shank: I’m on my way now. Thank you, Calla. I will explain everything when I get there. I promise I’ll make this right.
There’s no reason to respond when he’ll be here in a matter of minutes. So, I continue working on the lasagna while Zane watches TV and plays on the living room floor. By the time I’m sliding the pan of lasagna into the oven to finish baking, there’s a knock on the door. Going to open it after wiping my hands on a towel, I find Billy standing there looking like shit. The beard on his face is slightly longer as if he didn’t trim it this morning, his clothes are rumpled and what he was wearing when he left the house yesterday, and his entire face shows how exhausted he is. Stepping to the side, I let him in the house.
Billy gives Zane his full attention for a few minutes before coming to the kitchen where I’m putting the finishing touches on everything. Turning to face him, I don’t let him say a word before I do.
“Billy, I’ve done nothing but think since Lash and Hartley left here today. I get there will be things you can’t tell me because of club business. However, this shit isn’t club business. It’s my life. This situation revolves around Zane and me. I need to know what’s going on so I can properly protect myself and our son. You should have given me the heads up about what was going on despite Lash’s orders. Even if you didn’t tell me what you were gonna be doing, you could have said something. Instead, Jaelyn and you both kept me in the dark. That’s just one more reason I know I’ll never be part of the club you love so much. So, I’m gonna lay it out about what I want moving forward. You can either accept it or not, that’s up to you and will determine how we move forward from this second in our lives.
“First of all, we can remain married, but we need to take a step back. We need to take our time and get to know one another so if a situation like this comes up again, we’ll both be more prepared to deal with it in a mature manner. You can spend all the time you want with Zane, I’d never take that away from you for any reason. I won’t hesitate to leave you if I get proof that you’re cheating on me, Billy. I’m not that woman. I deserve better than to be kept at home while you’re at the clubhouse or wherever else doing what you want with no thoughts of your son and me. While I hate knowing you’ll be at the clubhouse without me, I don’t have a reason to be there. It’s been made perfectly clear that I’m the one who’s disposable around here and I’m okay with that. It’s a feeling I know well after my father and all his shit. However, I need to be able to trust you being there all the time. That won’t happen if Precious is still there. It can’t because I know she wants you and will do whatever it takes to break us apart.
“The last thing I have to say is that you have to be all in, Billy. If you can’t give Zane and me a hundred percent, then you need to tell me now. We need to go our separate ways if we’re both not in this for the right reasons and all in with everything we have. It will be better for Zane in the long run to end things now instead of dragging it out. I told you before I wouldn’t keep you locked in a relationship with me if that’s not what you wanted and that’s my truth. I will never keep you tied to me for any reason. I’d rather be alone than have you hate me and our son seeing that hate,” I tell him, getting out what I need to get out.
“So, I’m not gonna be livin’ here with the two of you?” Billy asks me, trying to process everything I’ve just told him.
“That’s not what I’m saying. There’s another bedroom next to Zane’s. If you want to remain living here with us you can. It will just mean you sleep in that room and not in the same bed as me. Until we both feel that’s something we’re comfortable with again, I can’t sleep in the same bed as you. It will be enough to share a home and both be here for our son right now. He has to remain the most important person in our situation and our priority,” I answer Billy, sliding the tray of garlic bread in the oven to bake while the lasagna finishes up and I put the mozzarella on top so it’s full of cheese.
“I can live with that for now, Calla Lily. Eventually, you have to let me back in though. I get why you can’t right now and I played my own role in that happenin’. Just don’t punish me for the rest of our lives over this one incident. I promise you I’ll never allow myself to be put in a position like that again,” Billy promises me, stepping closer before coming to a stop just in front of me.
“We’ll either get where we need to be or we’ll learn we need to move on from one another, Billy. I’m really hoping we get where we need to be, but that depends on if we’re still compatible or not. Go wash up with Zane so we can eat dinner.”
The rest of the night goes about as smoothly as it can with Billy and I dancing around one another. I let him put our son to bed on his own tonight while I take a long, hot shower before dressing in my warmest pajamas. It’s kind of chilly in the house but I don’t wanna turn the heat up when Zane and Billy run warmer than I do. After telling Billy good night when I make sure he’s got enough pillows and blankets in the room he’ll be using, I check on our son before returning to my room alone. Exhaustion pulls me under quicker than I thought knowing Billy’s under the same roof as me and yet we’re in different beds. I have to hold strong in my decision though. We can’t keep rushing through this shit and forcing something that might not work in the end.
Chapter Eighteen
PRECIOUS HAS BEEN hanging out at the club for over a week now and she’s doing shit she shouldn’t be doing. Trying to get into Lash’s office, my room, Zeus’ room, and talking shit to the other women in the club. Not just the Rebels but the ol’ ladies as well. Every move she makes has been caught on camera along with multiple conversations she’s had with some man on a phone. We don’t know what every conversation consists of, but the main part we’re getting is she’s trying to get information on the club and as much as she can on my wife. Precious is also very concerned with learning about my son. She’s asking everyone about Zane and what he does on a regular basis. I don’t know what the fuck her end game is, but we’re gonna find out one way or another.
Today is the first time Precious is leaving the clubhouse. She told one of the other Rebels something about having a spa day. I really don’t think that’s what she’s doing and no one else does either. Hartley is pissed as fuck because Precious is trying to refuse everything she does with every Rebel who walks through the door of the clubhouse. Getting on birth control, having a checkup from the doctor to ensure she doesn’t have anything, and so many other things. According to Precious, she just had all of that done and doesn’t need to go through it again. She’s also refusing to provide proof of her most recent exam and birth control. The bitch won’t be lasting here long.
Calla and I are still trying to get back on some sort of even ground. We seem to dance around one another and things are weird. I don’t know what to do to fix the situation any more than what I’ve already done. This includes not spending much time at the clubhouse when I don’t have to. As often as I can, I’m at home with my wife and son. It’s amazing to spend so much time with Zane and learn everything about him. I want to be able to anticipate his every need and I’ll only be able to do that if I get to know him the way Calla does.
We do try to spend time together every night talking and sitting together once Zane goes to bed. Instead of talking about nonsense and all that bullshit, we share stories and talk about what we’ve done over the last seven years. Listening to Calla talk about hiding out and avoiding the assholes her father sent after her so often makes me want to bring him back and kill him all over again. I want to take my time and prolong his death over several days. Maybe even weeks. I want to find every single one of the men who hunted her and tried to take her back to the asshole who was doing her harm on a regular basis.
I’ve been helping out with the chores and other things around the house as often as I can. I’ve noticed when Calla’s stressed or has had a rough day, she tends to clean things that are already clean and then she goes from there. Moving on to the next thing on her list of things to do that don’t necessarily need to be done. I don’t honestly know how she does everything and still spends as much time with Zane as she does. We’ve taken him to the park, he’s gone to the clubhouse with me, and just out for dinner. Calla always makes sure to have something planned to do with Zane on a regular basis. She doesn’t want to keep him cooped up in the house for long periods of time.
“Shank, we gotta head out,” Boxer says, coming up behind me as I sit alone at a table.
