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All the kids are crowding around him and the puppy as they all want a turn seeing him. I don’t even know if the puppy is a boy or girl, but Billy can fill me in later on. Before anything else happens, there’s a rumble of an engine. I knew my husband got our son a fucking bike of some kind. He thinks he’s so fucking smart and I don’t know what he’s doing. Billy isn’t all that surprising in certain things. This is one of those.
Billy brings the bike out as Zane tries to stand up with the puppy still all over him. He finally manages to get up to his feet and run to his daddy. I watch on as Billy and Zane have their moment, raising my camera to take pictures of the two of them together. I’m constantly taking pictures of my family so we always have the memories. I might not be in the pictures, but that’s okay. I’ll know I was there and remember the complete joy that I felt in that moment. It’s always going to be what I do and I plan on filling our house with all the pictures when we move. Thankfully, Billy and Zane tolerate my incessant need to take a million pictures of them on a regular basis.
I continue watching on as Billy moves the bike toward the front door of the clubhouse. Zane is hot on his heels as they get outside followed by everyone else. I move to the front of the group and switch my camera from taking photos to taking a video. I’m not about to miss out on this opportunity of Zane’s first ride on a bike. I’d love to tell you what it actually is, but I have no clue. I’ll have to get my husband to fill me in at some point. For now, I’m just happy to see Zane light up like fireworks on the Fourth of July as he listens intently to his Dad and gets on the bike while Billy still holds on.
Billy soon steps back from the bike and lets our boy go. He doesn’t take off quicker than shit like I expected him to. Instead it’s a smooth take off with only a slight wobble as he gets used to balancing himself on the bike. We all watch on as he rides from one side of the parking lot to the other. My boy doesn’t even miss a beat when he’s turning to come back toward us. The smile on his face is barely seen with the helmet Billy made him put on just before he stepped away. Personally, I didn’t even see a helmet on the bike or in my husband’s hand when he moved through the common room. I knew he wouldn’t let our boy be anything less than safe though. He’s going to teach him right from wrong from the very beginning instead of letting him be reckless and a danger to himself.
I can’t help but cheer and shout for Zane as he rides his bike. He looks so much like his daddy and there’s no way I can take this from him. Yes, I’m a pushover when it comes to our boy, but only if I know he’s going to be okay. I don’t let him just run wild all over the place or shit like that.
“You know we’re gonna be talking about this later on. Right?” I ask Billy as we continue to watch him.
“I know. I saw it and couldn’t resist though. Same with the puppy. He’s actually gonna be goin’ to get trained when he’s a little bit older. I want him to know the basic protection commands and shit like that. Though he’ll be Zane’s dog, I want them both trained so our boy is always safe,” my husband tells me, a smile on his face as he watches Zane ride around like he’s the man.
“We need to give him some rules about the bike, Billy. He needs to know when he can and can’t ride it so he doesn’t get on it without someone watching him. Zane will most definitely come out without us to ride if that’s what he wants to do. Kind of like someone else I know,” I say, laughing as Billy turns to me while looking offended.
“We will. For now, we’ll keep it here at the clubhouse and that will be the only time he can ride it. I’ll make sure it’s in the garage with our bikes and the kids aren’t allowed in there without us. We keep the doors locked at all times and the keys are kept in Lash’s office. He won’t be able to get to it without one of us helpin’ him,” Billy informs me, turning his attention back to Zane as he pulls up in front of us and stops.
“Mama! That was so much fun! Daddy, I’m ready to put it up now. We can have cake. And I want to play with the puppy some more,” Zane says, looking between us. “Does the puppy have a name, Daddy?”
“No, he doesn’t. It’s your puppy so you get to name him. Follow me and we’ll get your bike and helmet put up,” Billy answers our boy as I put my phone away.
“I want to name him Rocket. He came burstin’ out of that box like one so that should be his name,” Zane says as we all start laughing.
It does make sense though.
“Rocket it is.”
I watch on as the guys in my life head toward the garage. They disappear and I follow everyone back into the clubhouse. Hartley’s bringing out the cake and setting it on the table we were at earlier to have our dinner. Rocket is running around with the kids with his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth. I laugh at the chaos and know I wouldn’t want my life any other way. This is where I’m meant to be and these people are my family.
Zane and Billy enter the clubhouse as I light the candles on the cake. My boy rushes to our table and stares at the cake like it’s the best thing he’s seen. That’s how he’s been with everything today. It’s how I always want him to be. I pull out my phone again as we sing to him and he blows out the candles. Hartley and I cut the cake and dish out ice cream to everyone before we each take a piece for ourselves. Sitting together we watch everyone around us as they talk, laugh, and celebrate Zane. It’s a great day!
Epilogue
One year later
SITTING IN THE nursery with the newest addition to our family, I let my mind wander as Kellen nurses. Kellen is three months old now and he grows and changes so much on a daily basis. Just like his older brother, he looks just like a miniature version of his Daddy. Billy won’t ever be able to deny these boys as his. I love it too. The only thing I don’t like is that I want a daughter and I’m not able to have any more kids. There were complications during Kellen’s birth and I had to have a hysterectomy. Billy made the decision while I was out of it and I can’t be mad at him about it. He chose to save my life and that’s all he was focusing on. So, we’ve got our boys and I’m more than happy with them.
Rocket not only follows Zane around the house and sleeps in his room every night, but he’s also right there for Kellen too. Every time one of us is in the nursery with him, Rocket is right at our feet. He doesn’t let too many people close to our boys and definitely takes his training seriously. He’s one investment our entire family loves and we shower him with it on a daily basis.
Zane just turned eight and we had another large party for him. This time it was at our new home. Instead of the bike theme of last year, he wanted fighters and wrestlers this year. It’s something new he’s fixated on since he started watching MMA and things on TV with his dad and the guys of the club. So, that’s what we did. Boxer is the one who went over the top this year with the gift surprising Billy and I with his offer. He told Zane when he gets old enough, he’d be willing to train him to fight at the gym he owns. There are stipulations for it of course, but our boy is so excited and can’t wait. For now, we’ve agreed to enroll him in a karate class. It’s a start I guess.
Billy has stopped pulling back from the club. He goes in each morning to every business to make sure no one needs help for the day and then goes to work through the accounts of each club owned business. He has a good routine down and is home early enough to spend time with the boys before we put them to bed. The only time he pulled back again was during my pregnancy. He wasn’t going to miss out on anything so he made sure to go to every appointment I had, looked at my belly and body every day to note the changes, watched for any sign of movement of our little one, and every other experience he could get with this pregnancy. My husband didn’t miss a single thing and I’m glad he got to experience it this time since Kellen is our last baby.
I’ve gone back to work on a part-time basis. While I love seeing new babies being born and helping new moms get through the labor and delivery, my own boys are more important to me. I want to spend as much time with them as I can. So, I work four hours a day first thing in the morning. Hartley and I have opposite shifts so I can watch her kids while she’s at work and she can watch mine while I’m at work. It makes things so much easier because I don’t have to hire someone we don’t know to be around our kids. Plus, Zane’s in school every day so Hartley really only watches over Kellen for me. She loves spending time with him as she misses the baby stage.
Since everything happened, I haven’t allowed myself to think about my mother. She’s no one to me and I don’t really care what’s going on with her. Billy did share the information with me that Zeus managed to find and it opened an entire can of worms. I don’t know if the asshole I grew up with is my biological father or some man named Big T. I’ll find out the results of that as soon as I can get the nerve to open the envelope.
I guess that the man who took my mother called Big T to let him know what was going on and how my mother planned on trading Zane to cover part of her debt. Needless to say, Big T wasn’t happy with the information he received and was more than happy with letting Debbie suffer at the hands of another. After that, he contacted the club and talked to Billy. He wanted to know for sure if I was his daughter since Debbie still isn’t giving up that information. Billy talked to me about things and I agreed to have the test done. I’ve even talked to Big T a few times on the phone. We’ve agreed not to put any pressure on ourselves if it is revealed that he is my dad. For now, we’re going to take things a day at a time and see what happens. That’s about all I’m comfortable with at this point and Big T understands that.
The one thing I have changed my mind about is what to do with everything I inherited. I put all the money in an account in my name and don’t touch it if I don’t have to. If there’s a big purchase or something, we use that money for it. I’ve also set up college funds for Zane and Kellen if they choose to go that route after high school. The properties have been sold off and my old house was actually torn down and completely demolished. I watched it happen and couldn’t be happier there isn’t a reminder of that shit for me to think of all the pain and misery that happened in that house.
We spend a lot of time with Boxer and Makena. Multiple times a week we’re at their house or they’re at ours. We have dinner, hang out, and our kids play together. It’s not that we don’t spend time with the others in the club, it’s just Boxer and Billy are best friends so we tend to spend more time with them than anyone else. I’ve noticed we’re not the only ones who do that. Then, we all come together for various reasons at the clubhouse or going out in a group. It’s always fun to watch everyone around us when the entire club, ol’ ladies, and kids go out anywhere as a huge group. There’s a large number of us and we’re usually put in event rooms and things so we can accommodate everyone in our group.
I’ve gotten really close to all the ol’ ladies. We go out a few times a week for lunch and once a month to Rowdy Shot. Those are the nights Billy has to put me to bed because I don’t hold back on my drinks. Once a month is the only time I allow myself to drink any amount of alcohol and I definitely let loose. At least I’m a funny drunk. Well, until you piss me off or go after one of the other ol’ ladies in front of me. Then I guess I can turn into a real bitch and don’t hesitate to get into a fight. Yes, I’ve almost been arrested a time or two but Billy and Hartley always manage to make it go away. I don’t even want to know how they do that.
Growing up, I believed I was stuck with the family I had. It was just my mom and the evil bastard, but they were all I knew. Now, I know that’s not the truth. The reality is you can choose a family. A group of people who will love you for who you are and not what you can do for them. People who will support you and have your back no matter what’s going on. Everyone really helped Billy with the boys when I was in the hospital after having Kellen and then the surgery. I will pick my chosen family every fucking second over my own flesh and blood. The only one who might actually still be alive. Well, depending on what the DNA results are.
“Baby, are you lost in thought again?” Billy asks me as he walks in the nursery and stops in front of me.
