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I scrolled down. Samantha J.? Too tall. Daisy T.? Not happy enough. Penelope G? Hmm, she seemed all right at first glance, but at second glance, she might have been a little too boring for my girl. Okay, here we go: Jasmine R., Stella Y., and Karly L. I’d message them and see how that went. Hopefully, Alexis would pick one of them. Otherwise, Mr. Chan was going to be the most massaged and exfoliated man in Manhattan.
Fuck. Derringer better not fuck this up. Our big meeting was at the end of the week.
As I waited for replies, I thought about how long I’d been single. After four years, I missed the feeling of wanting someone, of being infatuated with them on a personal level. Like how I’d felt when I was with Alice. In the bedroom, I had liked to dominate her, and in the world, I had made sure she was safe. Except for that one night when she drove to see her friend, Tabitha.
Fuck. I would’ve given anything to erase that sorrowful night.
I shifted my thoughts back to now. It was the only way I could really cope properly. I watched as my coffee sent its steam into my nostrils, making me feel like I could get through again. I just needed to get through the moment of thinking about her.
Sometimes, coffee was my only real relief. I used it in the boardroom, when I woke up in the morning alone in my bed, and when I was tired but needed to get through something big at work. It was my only addiction apart from being an alpha male. When I was with someone, I liked to be in control, sexually speaking. I liked them to submit to me. In college, I’d had a few naive girls who hadn’t even realized they’d been being submissive due to their shyness. And fuck, it had been such a turn-on to be in control of them, every one of them.
When I met Alice, though, I knew she was the one as soon as her big doe eyes looked at me in that smitten way. She had never been with anyone except for “Mike, the dick,” a drop-kick jock from high school. So, bless her soul, she’d been easily submissive to me, and she had let me take her anytime, anywhere. In a heartbeat, she’d gotten breathless for me. I remembered the way I’d go down on her in a frenzy of need to watch her come for me. She had needed me to dominate her, and I’d needed to pleasure her way too much. She’d been my coffee back then.
If I ever did find another woman, she’d have to be my submissive like Alice had been. She’d be someone Alexis loved and someone I constantly craved to have, like a drug that got lost in your system and never ran out. Like the only thing you’d ever need to get you through the day, like rain on a winter afternoon or a beach sunset that set on the horizon. Or a cup of strong coffee that made your body want to be alive—the smell, the warmth, the addiction of it all.
The laptop pinged. Three messages popped up, one from each of the nannies I’d messaged. Jasmine R. was only available intermittently, so she was out. Then there was Karly L., who could meet tomorrow, and Stella Y., who was free to catch up at any time. Great, so now all I needed was for little Miss Six to approve of her favorite. Hopefully that would happen easily. Otherwise, Mr. Chan was going to need either strippers or hookers to keep him entertained. He was single and “free to mingle” as he had said on the Skype call from Shanghai. This could get freaking expensive. Good thing we had a client expenditure account to handle such situations.
“Alexis Jacobs, I need you to love one of these women so Dada can get back to managing his billion-dollar company,” I said in a semi-desperate prayer to my daughter’s subconscious mind. I hoped to God she heard me—or Buddha or the whole damn universe. Oh, what the hell? All of ’em!
Shit.
Chapter 2
Karly
“This isn’t too flashy, is it?” I asked Sarah, pulling out another potential interview getup. “Thanks again for helping with the nanny website thing. I’m so in trouble if I don’t get a job soon.”
The bed was covered in potential outfits. Choosing the right one that would look sophisticated but not too “office bossy” or “I-don’t-care casual” was a difficult role.
As I slithered out of my jogging bottoms, Sarah replied, “You’ll be fine. You’re a natural with kids. I don’t know why you never went to work with them earlier.”
I was sure Sarah only said the words to give me a confidence boost. I was happy she did, because I was shaking inside like a tree in a thunderstorm. “Did I thank you for everything?” I asked.
