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“Then why can’t that someone be Tyler, huh? Why does it always have to be me coping with reality? Why can’t he do it for once?”
“He is, in his own way, by putting space between you two.”
“Just like I did with us all those years ago,” I said.
“Looks like the two of you are more alike than you figured then.”
I bit down on the inside of my cheek and swirled my wine around in my glass.
“He wanted a second chance and he fought for it,” I said.
“He did.”
“Then I guess that means I have to fight for my second chance if I want it,” I said.
“Do you want it?”
“Yes. I really do.”
“Then it sounds like you need to draw up a plan to start fighting.”
“I’m so tired of fighting with him, Kristi. I just want to be happy with him for a change.”
“You’re not fighting with him at this point. You’re fighting for him. There’s a difference.”
“I know, I know. I’m just so tired. I’ve been tired for eight years.”
“Which is all the more reason for you to fight for this. Tyler can provide you a great deal of help, financially and emotionally. He can help you shoulder the burden of raising Brody.” She held up her hand. “Not saying Brody is a burden. Don’t put words in my mouth.”
I snickered and took another sip of my wine.
“You know me too well,” I said.
“And Tyler does too. Don’t think he doesn’t know what this is doing to you, and don’t think he doesn’t feel shitty about it. You know Tyler, even after all these years. The two of you haven’t changed as much as you may think.”
“I feel like we have.”
“Because it’s the low point in the road. That always feels worse than it actually is.”
“Gosh, I’m glad Brody is with my parents tonight. I needed time to think, time to talk with you. How could I have been so stupid?”
“You were eighteen. You were thrust into a situation you thought you’d never find yourself in. You did the best you could. It doesn’t make you stupid. It makes you cautious. Caring in your own way.”
“I still hurt him.”
“I didn’t say you didn’t. All I’m saying is that it came from a good place, and you have to let that count for something—even if it doesn’t with Tyler right now.”
“He told me he wasn’t sure about our relationship, that he wanted to work on his relationship with his son but not with me,” I said.
“And maybe that’s a blessing in disguise for now. Tyler’s back in a life he left for multiple reasons. Didn’t you say his mother was in the hospital?”
“I didn’t, no, which means you heard it somewhere else.”
“Well, you know how people talk about her.”
“Does anyone know how she’s doing?” I asked.
“Not from what I’ve heard. Only that she has serious cirrhosis and there isn’t a viable donor as of yet to give her a liver.”
“I wish there was something I could do.”
“Just stop and put yourself in Tyler’s shoes for a second. He recently came back to town and opened his own business. Then suddenly he’s got a son and his mother’s dying. That’s a lot to process without throwing a relationship on top of it all.”
“I guess you’re right,” I said.
“Give him some time. He’ll come around and talk to you. He always does.”
“How could he want anything to do with me after all this?” I asked.
“Because he loves you. You and I both know it. He’s upset and hurt, and he’s angry and feels alone. He has a right to his emotions, just like you do. We all told you that you needed to talk to him about this sooner rather than later. Now you’re dealing with the consequences of your decision.”
“I was wondering when the ‘I told you so’ would happen.”
“That’s not the point at all. The point is to get you to see that things can and will get better with time. Don’t force it and don’t hold anything back. You’ve told him how you feel and he knows about Brody, so now the ball is in his court.”
“What if he still doesn’t want me after all this?” I whispered.
Kristi grabbed my hand, pulling my attention to her.
“Then it’s his fucking loss,” she said.
“I know we talked about going out tonight since Brody’s with my parents, but can we stay in? I really don’t feel like getting dressed up and trying to put on a smile.”
“Why do you think I came over in sweatpants? We aren’t going anywhere. We’re going to sit right here, finish our wine, and talk as much as you like.”
“You know, Tyler promised Brody he’d take him to a Dodgers game,” I said, grinning.
“Oh, I bet Brody’s excited about that.”
“He is. He keeps talking about it, but Tyler hasn’t called about it yet. What if—?”
