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“Not even mine?” he asked.
I sighed as our eyes connected.
“I don’t know. Maybe. I sometimes wonder if my pride became the reason I never reached out to you. I have no one to blame but myself at this point,” I said.
“For what it’s worth, Brody is a really great kid. You’ve done a fabulous job.”
Tears welled in my eyes, and I looked away so I could blink them back.
“Thank you,” I said. “I appreciate that.”
“I’m sorry I never called you back the other day. You sort of called at a bad time.”
“I know. You said you had a meeting.”
“Actually, I didn’t.”
I turned my gaze to him as my brow furrowed.
“You didn’t?”
“I didn’t want to talk to anyone about it at the time, and I didn’t really know what to tell you, but you called in the middle of me talking to my Mom’s doctor. He had called to tell me we weren’t matches. I’d just assumed we would be, so I was kind of shocked and upset.”
“Oh my gosh, Tyler. I am so sorry,” I said.
“It’s fine. I mean, it’s not fine, but we’re dealing with it.”
“What’s the next step?”
“It’s essentially a waiting game. Waiting until a donor pops up. I just wanted to tell you since technically I lied.”
“It’s fine. I wasn’t owed that information, Tyler.”
The table fell silent as we both reached for another taco.
“How did things go with Brody meeting your parents?” I asked.
“Oh my gosh. Yeah, um—it went great. He and my father bonded really well. Brody is really good at math?”
I nodded as I took a bite of my taco.
“Of course you knew. It’s just—I mean my father was very impressed with how he was able to talk mathematics with him.”
“He can run some pretty insane calculations in his head. It’s still astounding to me that he likes history as much as he does, too.”
“I think he enjoys the national parks more than anything else.”
“Good. So I’m not the only one who gets that vibe,” I said, smiling.
“Nope. I noticed it, too.”
“So, how did your mother take to him?” I asked.
Tyler finished off his taco before he wiped his mouth and spoke.
“A lot of hugging. A lot of crying. A lot of doting on him and kissing. It was sort of a mixture of ‘I’m so glad to meet you’ and ‘I might not have much time with you,’ you know?”
My heart broke and tears rose to my eyes again.
“I’m so sorry. I never should’ve done what I did,” I said breathlessly.
“Ana, stop apologizing. It happened and there’s nothing we can do about it.”
“I am sorry, Tyler. I swear I thought I was doing right by everyone. I tried. I tried so hard.”
“Ana, stop. Look at me.”
He reached for my hand, his soft skin pressing against mine. I looked up to meet his eyes as a tear ran down my cheek, and he reached out to brush it away.
Such an intimate gesture from a man who I wasn’t sure still enjoyed being around me.
“Things went really well with my parents and Brody.”
“I’m glad,” I said, sniffling.
“I was hoping maybe my father and I could take him out. Maybe when Mom’s napping or something.”
“Of course. Of course you can. Just call and let me know. I’ll do whatever I can to coordinate with you guys.”
“I appreciate it, really. I think Dad wants to take him out for ice cream.”
“If you make it slushies, he’ll cling to your father and never let go,” I said.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” he said, chuckling.
Our informal dinner seemed oddly romantic. His foot slid against mine underneath the table as we finished our meal. His hand kept a hold on mine as we sipped our drinks. He smiled at me every once in a while, continuing his line of questioning about my pregnancy, about Brody’s birth, about how my recuperation was.
If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he genuinely cared about it.
He escorted me to my car with his hand on the small of my back. I wanted to ask him what it meant. I wanted to ask him if things were okay with us. I turned to him and gazed up into his eyes as his body heat beat down upon me. He dipped his head closer. I felt his breath pulsing against my lips.
Then he moved and kissed my cheek.
“Thank you for meeting me for dinner,” Tyler said.
Disappointment settled in my gut as I nodded.
“Anytime. Just, you know, give me a call,” I said.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” he said.
He squeezed my hand before he turned and headed to his car, leaving me more confused than ever. So many intimate gestures in such an informal atmosphere, and yet no mention of his love or my love, or anyone’s love really. I leaned against my car as the imprint of his lips burned my cheek. My eyes followed him all the way out to the main road, and I stood there alone until his car faded off into the distance.
