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"To be honest, I'm not completely surprised. The signs have been there for the last seven months. I was just hoping it would pass. Then we got engaged, and I was sure that all was well, but now…"
"He was supposed to meet me here, but he called and said he needed time away. From me... from everything. To think, to understand, to digest the loss, because since then, he hasn't been able to see anything clearly without his grief tainting it. Even me."
"Okay, that's not so bad. He just needs time, then. I can understand that," I consoled.
She nodded. "I do as well, but it doesn't change the fact that I've been abandoned mere weeks before our wedding. The invitations have gone out, I've been with him for nearly seven years of my life. Was all of that just a waste?"
More tears escaped from the corners of her eyes.
"It can't just have been a waste. I love him with my whole heart. I still…" she stopped herself. "God, I feel so pathetic. I really can't believe this."
"Did he give any indications that he'll come back?" I asked, and she let out a dark scoff.
"He didn't give any indication of anything whatsoever, the freaking asshole."
A smile tugged at the corners of my lips. It was just so funny to see her curse. She rarely did. She was the complete opposite of me, and I'd always teased her for it.
"What did you say to him?" I asked.
She went silent for a few seconds. "What could I say?"
"Maybe what he needed… " I paused. "Maybe what he needs is someone to talk some sense into him. Maybe you've coddled him a bit too much, and so he's just wallowed and completely rotted in his grief... no offence."
"So you're saying this is my fault?"
I sighed. "You know that's not what I'm saying."
"So what are you saying?"
"He's always loved you because of your temperament. He loves how calm and considerate you are, but maybe during this time in his life, that's not what he needs. Maybe he needs someone to be like a bucket of ice-cold water dumped over his obtuse head. Maybe that's what he needs to see clearly."
She smiled a little, and it was such a relief that I almost didn't know how to contain myself.
"I mean it though," I said.
She nodded. "I know what you mean, and I tried that, trust me. It didn't work. Nothing worked. He just... he just seems broken and destroyed, and once again, I'm not a monster. I do understand, and this is the most frustrating part. Now, I'm almost kind of wishing he cheated on me so that I'd have a very valid reason to vent and scream. As it is the slow loss is just soquiet and deep and excruciating. There were no fights, no big blowouts... those at least, could be addressed and resolved, but this is just so quietly insidious. A simple phone call to inform me that he needs to be away from me, leaving me to do whatever I want as a result."
"So you didn't curse him out at all?" I asked, shocked. Boy, I would have turned the air blue if someone had pulled that on me so near my wedding.
"Not this time, but I did two weeks back," she replied. "We fought about the way he didn't seem to care about our wedding." Her brow creased. "Do you think that was the reason why he broke things off today?"
I was surprised to hear this. "You? You lost it with him?"
"Yeah," she replied. "He… he has a six-figure bakery. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that despite this, he didn't care who would handle our cake or pastries. I showed him some photos, and he was so disinterested. He just wanted me to contract it out to whoever."
"What?" I frowned. "Sophie, I love you, and I'm sorry for saying this, but are you sure his grief is what has him acting like a complete tool or could there maybe be something else going on?"
She was silent for a while, then she shrugged. "I really don't know. That's what's killing me in all of this. I really don't know. I always felt like I understood him deeply, like we were on the same wavelength but... now he feels even more distant to me than a stranger."
Maybe this was for the best, then, I thought, but I didn't dare say it out loud. She looked at me then as though she could read what I was thinking – this had been the case numerous times in the past.
"What?" I asked.
"I want to still try... I can't give up this easily."
I immediately started to shut this down, but then once again held back. She kept staring at me.
"What?" I frowned.
