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“Bullshit.”
His eyes nearly popped out of his head when I flicked open the button on my shorts and unzipped them, kicking them away. I was beyond the point of reason. I needed off this rollercoaster, and I didn’t care how. “I’m going for a swim,” I explained.
“Fine. I’ll come too. Ez, we’re going for a swim,” he yelled as he undid the top couple of buttons on his shirt and pulled it over his head. With every inch of skin revealed, my gut twisted and want and need fought for dominance in me. I bit back a groan, salivating over him. Try as I might, I couldn’t pull my gaze away from his abs. The groove down the centre of his stomach and the V on either side of his hips formed the perfect arrow straight down to a cock that I knew was as ridiculously well-proportioned as he was and one that I’d been dying to touch for almost as long as I’d known him.
“Get undressed,” he ordered Ezra as his man stepped into the sunlight, wearing nothing but a pair of ripped jeans that were more holes than material. Flynn was close on his heels, but he skidded to a stop and shook his head.
My brain short-circuited when Ezra unzipped them and instead of a waistband appearing, I saw his pubes. “Fuck me,” I groaned, my resolve at breaking point and my sanity having long since sailed past it while holding up a cocktail glass and waving a white flag.
Zali was there in front of me, her soft hands on my cheeks. “Breathe, babe,” she instructed, and I sucked in a breath. The vice on my chest loosened, and I closed my eyes, slumping into her touch. Tristan’s hands landed on my shoulders, steadying me as Zali stood on tiptoes and tugged my face down to hers, whispering, “You’re safe with us. Don’t run. Please stay.”
I absorbed her energy, her strength, clinging to her waist as I buried my face in the crook of her neck.
“They’re worried about you,” she continued. “But they’ll give you space if that’s what you need.”
I didn’t know what I needed. My hands were shaking, and my knees were about to give out on me. Fear the likes of which I’d only ever experienced once—when Flynn and Zali were getting shot at while we were escaping from the Reserve Bank—overwhelmed me. I was frozen in place, but every instinct in me told me to run. To find somewhere I could hide out until I had the strength to rebuild the walls that had kept me safe for so long.
“Ry, I’m here if you need me,” Flynn murmured from next to me, and I couldn’t help but reach blindly for him. I clutched him tight, needing his sunshine, his warmth at that moment. He wrapped his arms around my waist, and Zali shifted, letting him step in front of me.
Flynn didn’t speak. He just held me tight.
A moment later, another set of arms surrounded me. Fingers tangled in my hair, and Ezra murmured, “Whatever you need, I’m here. So is Tris. You’re part of us, Ry. You’re not alone. We’ve got you.”
My breath caught, and I trembled. I needed to get out of there, but it was impossible to move. Their arms around me were the only thing holding me up.
Tristan pulled away, his hands slipping off my shoulders, but I caught his wrists, keeping him close. I needed him there as much as I needed the others.
“Are you okay?” Flynn asked cautiously. “Do you need to sit down?”
“I don’t think so.” I hesitated, not knowing how to tell him what I needed. I didn’t even know if I could go ahead with it.
Looking around for her, I spotted Zali a few feet away, giving us space without going too far away. I opened my mouth, ready to ask for help, but she was already moving closer. I swallowed, entranced by her graceful movements and in awe of the way she carried herself. She was confident, almost cocky, and often aloof, but when it was just us, she let down the façade. She was warm and loving, demanding and vocal, but fiercely loyal and protective.
And her body was rocking. Her breasts and that arse were curvy in all the right places.
Reaching for my hand, she threaded our fingers together and slid her arm around Flynn’s waist. If I hadn’t fallen in love with her a long time ago, I would have right in that moment. Without having to say a word, she gave me an out, a way to turn to her for comfort so I could distance myself from the men who had all my well-laid defences toppling.
She looked at Flynn before turning to Ezra, then Tristan. “Thank you for being here for Ry.” It was a dismissal, but her voice was filled with a genuineness and warmth that couldn’t be faked. Zali had promised I was safe with her, and she damn well meant it.
Flynn smiled, and it was like the sun coming out from behind a cloud. He was… beautiful. God, acknowledging that in itself was so freeing. Absolutely liberating. It was as if I’d turned the light on, shining a torch under the bed to scare off the monsters that were hiding there. But when he turned to me, his smile slipped. I wanted to capture it again, to give it back to him.
“Ry, what’s wrong?” he asked, his bright blue eyes clouded with worry.
I let myself look at him, taking in the differences between us. He was slimmer than the rest of us guys, his muscles lithe and compact instead of bulky like Tris’s or mine, and he was shorter than even Ezra’s six-foot frame.
“Did something happen?” Flynn asked again, his voice wobbly. My gaze shot to his, and I reached for him without thinking, pulling him against my body and slipping my hand up the back of his shirt. I groaned when my fingers made contact with his heated skin. He sucked in a breath, and panic seized me. Dropping my arm, I stepped back in a flash, separating myself from both Zali and Flynn. I choked out an apology, hating that I’d already ruined things.
“Fuck, sorry. I didn’t ask. I just…. Sorry.”
“Ry, tell him,” Zali whispered. “I guarantee he wants to hear it.”
“Hear what?” Flynn asked. “Ry, you’re scaring me.”
I reached for his waist again, holding my hand a fraction away from his hip. “Can I?”
“Yes, of course.” I placed my hand on his hip, and he tugged on my wrist, stepping closer as he slipped my hand back under his shirt. “If that’s what you need, Ry, take it.”
My eyes closed of their own accord, and my body trembled as I slid my hand higher, touching the long planes of his back.
