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Zali slipped onto the sofa, sitting between my spread knees. She took my hands in hers, intertwining our fingers. “I’m sorry for hurting you—”
“Hey, you don’t have to apologize—”
“I do.” She nodded and gave me a small, sad smile. “You tried to comfort me, and I pushed you away. But you were hurting too. I volunteered you and Ez to sort through a duffel bag that could have had literally anything in it, and when you needed me, I couldn’t even hold you. What you found was heartbreaking.”
“It was,” I agreed. “But I didn’t lose my brother or my best friend. The mementos weren’t personal to me like they were you. I thought that Ash was just a Gold Coast fan. I didn’t realize he and Ry had seen their first home game together. I didn’t realize it meant so much to him.” I let go of her hands and cupped her face, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I thought you loved Jumpinpin just because of how beautiful it is. I didn’t realize it was somewhere that held special memories for all of you.”
She nodded and whispered, “We loved it there.” Her voice wobbled, and she sucked in a shuddery breath.
“I’m so sorry you lost him, kitten. So, so sorry. I’m even sorrier that you had to do what you did. I wanted to protect you from that. We all did.”
“I’m sorry we lost him too,” she murmured. “But knowing I brought his killer to justice is… a relief.”
“I’m here if you ever want to talk about anything. Even if it’s just to get your mind off things, I’m here.” I ran my knuckles over her cheekbone and fingered a piece of her silky soft hair, pushing it behind her ear.
“I tried,” she whispered, dipping her face down as if she couldn’t look at me. “To hug you back. I tried, but it was as if I couldn’t get my arms to work. Everything was staticky, and there was this disconnect between my head and the rest of me.”
“Oh, love,” I rumbled, getting on my knees and taking her into my arms.
She wrapped herself around me, holding on like a koala, and gripped me tight. Her breaths were ragged, and her fingers dug into my back, but she was there. She was opening up to me and we were reconnecting.
“I love you.”
“I love you too,” she whispered, burying her face in the crook of my neck. We sat there like that for long enough that my knees were aching. But I didn’t move, not when it was what Zali needed.
“I need to find out the rest. There’s still so much we don’t know.” She hesitated. “But honestly, I don’t know if I’m strong enough to hear it right now.”
“I have Martha’s number. I’ll call her.” I smoothed my hand down her hair, then did it again, winding the length around my fist and drawing her closer. Our kiss was long and slow. It wasn’t leading to anything, but I needed to reconnect with her and show her exactly how loved and cherished she was and always would be.
“Thank you.”
*****
I’d had to wait until it was a decent time to call Mauritius, so when the clock ticked over, I slipped into Zali’s office.There were papers everywhere—taped to the walls and in neat stacks—representing her notes on the different stages of her research, to-do lists, and mind maps of connections she’d discovered. Benedict’s name was circled, red permanent marker lines drawn between key points. We’d been convinced that all roads led to him. We’d been so wrong.
I still couldn’t believe that it was over, that we’d found out what happened.
It seemed like a bad dream that we hadn’t woken up from.
Zali hadn’t stepped foot in here since we’d arrived back. I understood now, much better than I had before. She was stronger than anyone I’d ever met, but she was struggling. It was sheer self-preservation that she hadn’t ventured in here. Seeing the reminder of how we’d been tricked into believing it was Benedict was too much for her right now. At least she was being gentle with herself, taking some time and space before going back to work.
Ry was itching to get back into it, but he was in no shape. As soon as we’d disembarked from the plane in Darwin, Ry had about collapsed. We’d had him rushed to a hospital to have his collarbone set and pinned in place. We stayed there in Darwin for a few days before Ry was well enough to fly. Thankfully his pilot friend had offered to pilot Zali’s plane in exchange for a few days’ accommodation on the beach and a flight back.
Zali was focussing her energy on Ry, making sure he was on the mend, and in turn we were fussing over the two of them. They deserved some pampering, even if it was just bringing them drinks and curling up on the couch with them to watch a movie. We were venturing off the yacht tonight for the first time since returning. We were seeing Ry’s mum and Zali’s dad. I was nervous to meet both, but it wasn’t about me. Ry had mentioned he wanted to come out. He was starting with his mum. I just hoped she recognized that he was finally happy and supported him. I couldn’t bear for him to lose anyone else. He’d suffered enough.
We were meeting Roe to walk him through everything that had happened. Zali had asked him to bring a friend with him, and he’d asked Ry’s mum to be there too. I had a feeling that by the end of the night, there wouldn’t be any more secrets.
With any luck, we’d get Roe’s permission to proceed with the podcast and Kristy’s blessing for our relationship. I was expecting the conversations to only get harder though. We had to break the news to Zali’s grandparents—Rosa’s parents—and from what Ezra had told me of Roe’s and Zali’s relationship with them, they’d see both the podcast proposal and our conclusions as a direct attack on them and their daughter. Ultimately, I didn’t need their permission to proceed, but I’d rather do it with their blessing than risk a lawsuit for defamation.
But before all that, I had a phone call to make.
I flipped my phone over in my hand, unlocked the screen, then locked it again. I groaned, nerves running riot in my belly. They were swooping and spinning like a flock of birds in full flight.
If I didn’t do it now, I wouldn’t.
I set my digital recorder up by the phone, dialled the number, and hoped the call was answered. I didn’t expect Martha’s Southern-accented “Hello” after the third ring.
“Ms Holt, it’s Tristan Reid,” I greeted her.
