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“Youdeserve?” I screech. Tears pool in my eyes at the irony of this situation. “What about whatIdeserve? What does your wife on the other side of the country deserve?”
Ian runs his hand through his dark hair, making a mess of his perfectly styled hair before rolling his eyes. “You got exactly what you deserved, Audrey, and we both know it. You were so wrapped up in finding someone who loved you that you were dying for a little attention. It was written all over your face the day I met you. At first, I figured I’d give you a little attention and get my dick wet, but you were so oblivious.” Ian chuckles softly, shaking his head. “As long as I kept giving you the attention you craved, you’d continue living in your happy little bubble of oblivion, completely clueless to what was happening around you.”
He’s right. All the signs were there. The long trips to the East Coast, no phone calls, or texts when he was gone. Any rational woman would have suspected something was up, but I saw nothing coming. All I wanted was to find someone to love me. For that all-encompassing love that my parents had with each other. To be loved by another human being with all their heart and soul, as if I were the center of their entire universe. But I ended up being the one to ruin someone else’s happiness.
You’re trash, Audrey.
You trapped me.
You aren’t worthy of love.
You ruin everything you touch.
Trey’s voice from all those years ago echoes through my mind as I fight to maintain control of my emotions.
“It was fun while it lasted.” Ian plants a kiss on my forehead before heading back toward the door. “I’m going to stay at a friend’s tonight. Just make sure you’re out of here when I come back in the morning.”
“Is this friend a female?”
“Now, is that any of your business?” he says over his shoulder before pulling the door open and closing it tightly behind him.
The tears I’ve been holding back stream down my face. I wanted to be strong, to tell Ian to go fuck himself and leave with my head held high, but he ripped open every wound I’ve repaired since I heard from his wife. Most of everything he said was bullshit, his way of trying to make me feel bad for choosing Love and myself over a loveless relationship, but there was also some truth.
Ever since my parents died, I’ve been searching for love in all the wrong places. Any man that gave me the smallest bit of attention, I jumped in heart first, only to end up heartbroken at the end. Some only wanted a quick roll in the hay, some freaked once I started spouting those dreaded three words, and some lost it the moment I mentioned I was a single mom.
When I met Ian, I promised myself things would be different. Instead of jumping headfirst into a new relationship, I’d take things slowly. He was gorgeous, charming, and everything I thought I wanted in a partner, but I was determined to make him work for it. I didn’t accepthis first, second, or third date request. When I told him I was a single mom, he didn’t even bat an eyelash. After chasing me for months, I finally agreed to go on a date with him. Everything was amazing until suddenly, it wasn’t. Even with all the signs and warnings that something wasn’t right, I kept charging forward. I was so in love with the idea of being in love that I was blind to everything that was wrong in the relationship.
Now, it’s time for me to focus all my attention on Love. I can’t uproot her life like this again. She’s going to be a freshman in high school in the fall, going off to college after graduation. She has her whole life ahead of her. The only thing I seem to have ever done right in my life is be her mother.
This move will be good for both of us. A fresh start.
“Mom?”
“Yes, baby?” I croak, swiping angrily at my eyes to get rid of all evidence of my tears.
“This wasn’t your fault. There was no way of knowing that Ian was hiding this big of a secret from both of us.” Love strides toward me, wrapping her arms tightly around my waist.
“I know, baby.” I force a smile before stepping out of her embrace and taking a seat back at the table. “Are you all packed?”
“Are you going to be alright?”
“It’s rude to answer a question with a question.”
“Not when my question is more important,” she deadpans, crossing her arms over her chest.
“I’ll be alright. I promise.”
“Now, are you packed? I want to get the car loaded and headed toward Tyson’s Creek before lunchtime. If we hurry, we can stop and spend the night in Memphis.”
“I’m all packed. Just have to grab my backpack off the bed.”
“Good,” I reply, flipping the top card of the deck over on the table in front of me.
“An upright Knight of Pentacles isn’t a bad card at all,” Love says with a smile, her eyes glowing.
“Nope, not at all,” I sigh, returning her smile as all the tension drains out of me.
I take a deep, cleansing breath as I think about what the Knight of Pentacles means—fertility and growth. The cards don’t predict the future, but I have a feeling that things can only go up from here.
