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“I’m coming over. Don’t freaking move.”
Tears pour down my cheeks as the weight of my feelings hit me. I clutch the phone tightly, biting down onmy hand, hoping to quiet the sobs bubbling from my throat. My heart feels as if it’s breaking in two. I want nothing more than to turn the car around, run into Connor’s arms, and beg him to bind us together in every way possible.
“Make it stop,” I whine, wrapping my arms around my waist and attempting to hold myself together. “I just want the pain to stop.”
“I wish I could.” Bristol’s voice fills the cab of my car as she wraps her arms around me. “I need you to tell me what happened.”
“Connor told me he was falling in love with me.” Tears stream down my face as I gasp for breath. “But how is that even possible?”
It was more than just sex between us, I know that, but how can I trust something that happened so quickly? Is it even possible to fall in love with someone this fast? It’s only been a little over a month since we met. There are plenty of stories out there where people fall in love at first sight, but this is the real world. Happily ever afters aren’t that easy. You have to work for them.
“Maybe the universe is trying to tell you something,” she says. I slam my eyes shut, plunging myself into darkness.
“I doubt that.” Fresh tears run down my cheeks as I pull out of Bristol’s embrace and climb out of the car. “The universe loves to give me a taste of happiness before ripping it away. But this time, I won’t let it happen.”
“What the heck do you mean, Audrey?” Bristol slams my car door shut and follows me toward my front door.
“Connor is everything I could ever want in a man. He’s kindhearted, attentive, and treats Love like she’s his own child. He’d give someone the shirt off his back if they needed it, no questions asked.”
“So, umm, what’s the problem?”
“It’s too good to be true. It’s too soon. Take your pick!” My head shakes back and forth as I drop my chin to my chest, not wanting to see the sympathetic look in her eyes that I know is there. I inhale a deep breath and let it out slowly, attempting to calm my emotions. “I’ve been a replacement for someone before. I won’t let that happen again. I deserve more and so does Love.”
“You aren’t making any sense, Audrey.”
“I am. There’s no way he loves me. He’s just looking for a replacement for Lydia. That’s all this is, and as soon as I let my guard down, he’s going to leave me.”
I’m nothing special, I repeat in my mind as I open my front door and head inside. Everything looks exactly like I left it and where it belongs, but somehow, it feels different.
“I couldn’t handle that, so I need to figure out how to end things before he breaks my heart.” I feel a sob bubbling up in my chest, threatening to escape from my mouth.
“You’re a fucking idiot.” Bristol wraps her arm around my shoulders, leading me toward the couch. “Didyou ever stop to think that maybe you’ve finally found what you’ve been searching for?”
“Maybe.” I sniffle, not wanting to burst into tears again. “But what if I make the wrong decision? Then the life Love and I have started building here will end.”
“And you could get struck by lightning the moment you step out your front door.”
“Be serious.”
“I am.” Bristol brushes a few strands of hair off my face. “You never know what life will bring. The only thing we can do is put one foot in front of the other and keep living. So, what’s the problem with having a relationship with Connor?”
I freeze, not knowing exactly how to answer her question. Tears stream down my face as I gasp for breath. “But what if things don’t work out?”
“Then you call us, and we’ll figure it out. Nothing a few pints of ice cream and a stack of chick flicks can’t cure.”
Bristol and I sit there in silence as I think about what she said. I need to be honest with myself. I’m falling in love with Connor. I may not be ready to jump into a relationship with him, but the feelings are there. Maybe they’ve always been there, growing into something beautiful, perfect, and beyond anything I could ever imagine. I wasn’t searching for forever when I moved here, but it seems it may have fallen into my lap.
“My work here is done,” Bristol says suddenly before planting a kiss on my cheek and struggling to get offmy couch. “Since you are obviously in no condition to teach class, I’m going to head in.”
“No, I’ll come in.” My chest tightens as I panic. I need some place to hide and think alone. None of them will bother me if they know I’m working. “Please,” I beg.
“Okay. But for the record, I think this is a bad idea.” Bristol eyes me skeptically before waddling toward my front door. “I’ll see you soon.”
“Thank you,” I croak before scurrying up the stairs to take a shower. I turn on the shower and strip off my clothes. As the bathroom fills with steam, I try to focus on anything but what happened between Connor and me last night. Either way, I need to figure out what I want in this situation because it’s not fair to either of us.
Maybe I can ask the cards…
I hop into the shower and clean up. Not bothering to wash my hair, I shut the water off and step out, wrapping a towel around myself. Ignoring my reflection, I reach into my top drawer and grab underwear and, at the last minute, my deck of tarot cards. I place the deck on the top of my dresser, drop my towel, and step into my underwear.
