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I turn in her embrace, wrapping both my arms around her and pulling her against my chest. I rest my cheek on the top of her head as her shoulders shake lightly. She doesn’t make a sound, but I know that she’s upset.
Although Love and I haven’t spent much time alone together, I’ve learned a lot about her. She’s quiet and reserved, spending most of her time ensuring that the people around her are happy instead of processing her own feelings. Audrey always says that Love has a good head on her shoulders and is more mature than kids her age, but I think deep down Love has been waiting for a place to belong.
“It’s been just me and my mom for so long. It’s a little hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that I have so much more now,” Love whispers as her arms tighten around my waist. “Do you love my mom?”
“I love both of you very much.”
“I love you. You and Jade. Auntie Bristol, Selina, and Leia. I love going to Just the Drip with my mom and dance classes with Jade. I love Vance, even though he’s more of a child than I am most of the time.”
“And they love you, too. Nothing is ever going to change that.”
Love pulls back slightly, tears streaming down her face. “My mom… she’s been hurt badly in the past. She’s so scared of it happening again that she might push you away, but can you promise you won’t let her?”
“What do you mean?”
Love sighs loudly before taking a step back, wrapping her arms around her waist. “My mom is so scared of ruining the family we’ve built for ourselves by falling in love with you that she will find some way to convince herself this is a bad idea.”
She paces back and forth in the foyer, her shoulders hunched and her hands clasped in the center of her chest as she continues to speak. Love has been carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders until this moment. She wants to protect her mom, but she also wants to stop her from sabotaging something before it can even get started. A feeling I’m all too aware of.
“I’ve told her a million times that it’s okay to love you, but I’m not sure she’s listening to me. To her, my happiness is the most important thing in the world, sometimes even to the detriment of her own. Sure, she’s made a few bad decisions in the past, but she always puts me first.”
“Do you mean what happened with Ian?” Love nods her head slightly in the affirmative.
“Him and my dad. My mom loves with her whole heart, and sometimes it blows up in her face. I know my mom would never say she regrets I was born, but after what happened with Ian, I’m afraid she’s going to close herself off from finding the love she’s been searching so desperately for.”
Audrey hasn’t said much about Love’s biological father, but it seems they had a similarly unfulfilling relationship. Two men whom she loved deeplytossed her to the side like a piece of trash. No wonder she’s terrified at the idea of starting a relationship with me, especially with the stakes being so much higher. Not only is Love’s happiness at risk, but Jade’s as well.
“That’s understandable, Love. But your mom knows how I feel about her. I laid it all out for her last night.”
“But did she tell you she loved you?”
I pause, thinking back through each of my conversations with Audrey last night. Not once did she outright say what her feelings were for me, but I didn’t need her words. She showed me with every caress of her hand and touch of her lips against my skin. I know deep down that she’s falling in love with me, maybe alreadyisin love. I don’t need her to say anything out loud.
“Not specifically, but…”
“That’s a problem.” Love throws her hands up in the air in defeat before striding towards me. She grips one of my hands tightly in hers, pulling me toward the door. “You need to go talk to my mom before it’s too late.”
“What do you mean,too late?” I recoil, pain shooting through my chest. When Audrey left this morning, I knew she was scared, but I never believed she would run away from me.
“Before she convinces herself that she doesn’t love you.”
“I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying.”
Love stops abruptly before releasing my hand and spinning on her heels to face me, her eyes locking with mine. “She has a deck of tarot cards that my grandmothergave to her. I think she believes she can’t decide without asking them for guidance. Especially after everything that has happened. She says using them helps her, but I think she uses them as a crutch.”
Love grips both of my hands with hers, her eyes filling with tears again as she pleads her case. “She asked them if you two should be in a relationship, and if I was a betting person, she probably went home and asked if the relationship was going to last.”
I shake my head, unable to form the words. My heart feels like it’s been ripped out of my chest, and it’s only been a short amount of time. “What do I do?”
“Go find her. Now.” Love gives my hands a final squeeze before taking a step back.
“Hey, Dad.” Jade comes skidding back into the foyer. “Would it be okay if—” she begins but stops, noticing the tension in the room. “What’s going on here?”
“Nothing much. Your dad just said he loves me and my mom. I truly believe that she’s falling in love with him, too, but she’s more than likely trying to stop loving him because she’s afraid of breaking up our new family if something goes wrong,” Love responds quickly, as if I wasn’t even in the room.
“Oh, that’s it?” Jade questions, her head swiveling between the two of us.
“No, there’s more, but I figured theReader’s Digestversion would work best for a situation like this.”
