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Kennedy’s eyes well with tears. “Who the hell are you? You weren’t this person when we met.”
Guilt eats at me as I look at her. Though I shouldn’t have said that to her, I’m already digging myself a hole. I may as well make it deeper. If she hates me, she’s going to stop trying to fix me.
That’s all I want. To be left alone and allowed to live the life I want to live.
“Yeah, well, I’m this person now and it’s time that everyone accepted that.” I tuck my hands in the pockets of my jeans and head for the studio.
Surrounded by tall bushes and bright flowers, the white stone building looks like a little oasis, but I know hell is waiting for me inside.
Today might be the day that Matt fully explodes. Most of the time, he lets Ben confront me. He doesn’t want to get into it. Logically, I know that sooner or later I’ll push them both over the edge. They’ll give up on me just like everyone else in my life did.
I stand on the porch for a moment and light a cigarette. I’m already late. A few more minutes to calm my nerves isn’t going to make much of a difference.
When I finish the cigarette, I head inside and immediately wish that I didn’t.
Bile rises in my throat as I stand in the doorway of the main room. Couches line the room and different instruments sit in the middle of the room. Just beyond the main room is a studio and soundboard set up for recording songs.
In that studio is the one person I thought I would never see again.
Cassie laughs as Matt fits the headphones over her ears and adjusts a microphone to her height. Even though I’m not close to her, I’m sure that her green eyes are shining bright. She says something to Matt, turning her back to me.
My gaze drops to the way her tight jeans hug the curves of her ass. I still remember what it feels like in my hands. I scowl and close my eyes for a moment. There’s no way I can do this. Not if it means being close to her again.
I never should have agreed to do the hometown show with her. I should have told management to shove the idea up their asses.
Ben walks over and crosses his arms. “You’re not going to fuck this up for us, Tyler. Not this time. Cassie agreed to come back for the hometown show and play for us. We need her.”
“What is she doing here?” My voice sounds strangled as Cassie sits down on one of the stools in the studio. Matt hands her a pale-yellow electric guitar and starts to hook it up.
“You were at the meeting with Tony and the White Hot execs. They told you that they wanted to invite her back for a show. We all agreed to it.” Ben steps in front of me, blocking my view. “Please tell me that you were sober for that meeting and at least remember some of it.”
I swallow hard, looking away from the studio. “I remember it. I just didn’t think that she was ever going to agree to come back. I thought she would have told Tony where he could go when he called her.”
The last thing I want is to spend the next few weeks with her. I don’t want to have to look her in the eyes after everything I did to her. I’ve tried to keep as much distance between us as possible. I avoid everything to do with her except on the nights I’m so far gone that I don’t even know what I’m doing.
It’s only on those nights that her memory comes back to haunt me, and I had planned on keeping it that way.
“Well, she’s here and after all the damage you’ve done to our image, we need her.” Ben glares at me as the door to the studio opens.
Matt and Cassie walk into the room, laughing like they’re old friends. I can’t bring myself to look at her as she sits down on one of the couches. The room grows silent, and it feels like the walls are starting to close in around me.
I really should have skipped rehearsal today.
“It’s good to see you again,” Cassie says, her tone cool and professional.
All I can do is grunt at her before taking off to the bathroom on the other side of the hall. I slam the door shut behind me and pull out a small flask from the inner pocket of my jacket. As I unscrew the cap and take a sip, I hate myself more than ever.
When I walk back into the main room, all eyes are on me. Ben looks at me, his gaze wary.
“Cassie is here to help us,” he says, his voice strained. “We’re going to put the past behind us for this show.”
“Like hell we are,” I say, alcohol fueling the anger that’s running through me.
I hate that she’s back here. I hate that I have to look at her and relive the worst thing I ever did. There’s no way that I’m going to be able to spend weeks in the same room with her. Not a chance.
“Tyler.” Matt glares at me and crosses his arms. “Don’t do this.”
“There was a reason that we got rid of her in the first place. She was only holding us back as a band. Look at how much success we’ve had since we got rid of her. Now you’re telling me that bringing her back is a good idea? You’re all delusional.”
