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I flip him off. “I’m tired of partying every night. I have been for a while but stopping didn’t seem like it was worth it. I took another look at the sales reports and you’re right. We’re not in trouble yet, but we could be eventually. It’s time to slow down on my life otherwise I’ll have nothing to show for it.”
Although, it’s the truth, there’s more to it than just having something to show for my life.
The other night with Cassie was amazing. When we woke up in the morning, we did it all over again. When I left late that afternoon, I started thinking about the future that we could have had together.
I told her I loved her back then.
My chest constricts slightly just thinking about it. I never planned on telling her I loved her, but when I saw the doubt and hesitation between us, the words just slipped out. Even if that night would ruin everything, I finally wanted her to know how I felt about her.
Spending time with her now, some of those old feelings are starting to resurface. I don’t want to be the person that I’ve been around her. That’s not the kind of person Cassie deserves.
It’s not the kind of person I deserve either.
I’ve spent years making a career for myself and making sure that I got out of the life I used to live. Looking at where I am now, it seems like only a matter of time until I’m right back where I started.
I can’t let that happen. Not after all I’ve sacrificed to get here.
I’m better than the person I’ve become. The partying lifestyle grew old a long time ago and now I’m finally ready to admit it.
“Well, I’m glad that you’re ready to start getting your life together.” Ben smiles and grabs one of the bass guitars, strumming the bridge to a song that we’ve been working on. “Is this change permanent though, or will we have to keep putting up with the same shit that we’ve been putting up with for years?”
“It’s permanent. I’m not going to be spending my nights getting drunk and waking up without any memories of the night before. It’s time to grow up.”
Matt takes down his hair and runs his hand through it. “It’ll be good for you. To be honest, I’ve been worried about going to pick you up and finding you dead one day.”
His words are a punch to the gut. I know that they’ve told me more than once they thought I was going to die one day, but hearing Matt say he thought he was going to walk in to find me dead hits differently.
What the hell have I been putting everyone through?
My stomach ties itself into knots as I look between the two of them. “It’s over. I’m not saying that I’m going to stop drinking or smoking, but the drugs are done. It’s time to get serious about our career again. I’m sorry that I didn’t see that sooner.”
Matt gets up and heads to the studio. “Well, with that out of the way, let’s get working on that album. I think you’re right. We need a single to debut at the hometown show.”
As I get up and follow him into the studio, I start to feel better than I have in a long time.
The stars are shining bright overhead as I stand outside the dark gray townhouse and look up at the light shining in Cassie’s bedroom window. After writing with Matt and Ben for a while, I was going to go back home and make some dinner. The more I thought about going home to be alone, though, the less I wanted to do it.
That’s how I ended up outside Cassie’s home. Even though I just said goodbye to her a few hours ago, I want to see her again.
I run my hand through my hair and lean against the side of the car. The front door open and Paige walks out. Her arms are crossed, the dark lines of her tattoos popping against her pale arms.
“What do you think you’re doing out here?” she asks, coming to a stop in front of me. She arches an eyebrow, her foot tapping against the ground.
“To be honest, I don’t know.” I tuck my hands in my pockets and glance toward the house. “Does Cassie know I’m here?”
“Nope.” Paige drops her arms and steps closer to me. She presses a bright red nail into my chest. “You better be good to my best friend this time around. I’m not going to see her hear get broken because you decided that a career was more important that she is.”
“I don’t know where this entire thing is going to go, but I’m not leaving her. Not again. Not unless she wants me to.”
Paige’s eyes narrow before she takes a step back. “Good. Because if you hurt her, I will find you and castrate you. Don’t think that I can’t. I grew up on a ranch and I’m more than capable of cutting your balls off if I have to.”
I swallow hard and nod. “Good to know.”
She gestures to the house. “Go in and get her. I’m going to be in the backyard pretending I don’t know the two of you fucked on my kitchen counters.”
My cheeks flame as I pass her and head into the house. I climb up the wooden staircase and head down the hall to Cassie’s room.
She’s sitting in the middle of her bed, green blankets piled around her. Her dark hair is piled on top of her head and soft tendrils drift down around her. The shirt she wears is one that I haven’t seen in over eight years. I grin as she looks up and puts her book to the side.
