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Cassie sighs and nestles into my side. Her hair fans out around us as I wrap an arm around her. My fingers drift up and down her spine and my gaze drifts to the stars shining outside the window.
When I was told that Cassie was going to be doing the hometown show with us, this relationship is the last thing I expected. I didn’t think that she would want to be with me. Not after everything I did to her. Not after the betrayal.
Now, as she lays here in my arms, it’s hard to imagine living so much of my life without her.
CHAPTER 15
CASSIE
Early morning sunlight streams through the open window. Birds chirp outside and flit by the window on their way to the birdhouse. I sit up in Tyler’s bed, staring out at the forest. A deer appears, looking around before making her way over to his garden.
I get out of bed, taking one of the sheets with me and wrapping it around my body. The hardwood is cold against my feet as I make my way over to the little sitting area beside the window.
Tyler still softly snores from the bed as I sit in one of the armchairs. I pull my feet onto the edge of the chair and hug my knees, watching as the deer stands in the middle of the garden. She looks at the plants surrounding her before going for one of the berry bushes.
I sigh and put my head on my knees. As peaceful as Tyler’s house is, there is still some worry lingering in the back of my mind.
There’s only a week left until the hometown show. We have to go on stage and perform together as a band for the first time in eight years.
The band sounds good together. We’ve been practicing for weeks, and we have the setlist down. The new song is ready to be debuted. It took a lot of long nights spent in Tyler’s bed with a notebook, but eventually we figured out the lyrics and put them to music.
And yet I still can’t shake the foreboding feeling that lingers over me.
I have no clue what I’m going to do once this show is over.
Should I take the new song and record it on my own? Revive a career that died years ago?
The thing is, I don’t want to be a solo artist. I never have. In the weeks since I’ve been practicing with the band, that much has become clear.
There is no way that I could get on stage with another band, though. It wouldn’t feel right.
Which means that I’m going to be back where I started. Not that teaching kids is the worst place to be. I love watching them walk around with their guitars while playing songs they barely know. I love the looks on their faces when they finally nail the chord or song we’ve been working on.
Teaching kids to play guitar isn’t a step back, but it feels like another sidestep in my stagnant life.
I sigh and run my hand through my hair, using my fingers to work through the knots. The deer prances across the yard and back into the woods while I panic about my future.
I don’t know where I’m heading and it scares the hell out of me.
“You look like you’re freaking out about something,” Tyler says, his voice raspy with sleep. He props himself up on his forearms and gives me a sleepy smile. “What’s going on?”
I shrug as the alarm on my phone starts going off. “Just thinking about what I’m going to do with my life after the hometown show.”
As I get up and grab my phone, Tyler climbs out of bed. He walks over and pulls me into a tight hug, dropping a kiss to the top of my head. With a sigh, I lean into his warm body, still holding the sheet around me.
“You’re going to do whatever you want after the show,” he says softly. “You’re one of the most talented people I’ve ever met. Whatever you do, you’re going to do great.”
Though I appreciate the sentiment, it’s hard to hear. He’s going to go on tour with the rest of the band. While he’s touring with them, he’s going to forget about me here. Either that, or the distance is going to make him realize that his relationship is unsustainable when I have to stand there and look at what I almost had.
It’s entirely a me problem. And I know that I’m projecting, but I’m so far down the panic spiral that I don’t know how to drag myself out.
I wriggle my way out of his embrace and head to the bathroom. “I have a class to teach this morning and I have to get there before the parents start wondering where I am.”
“Cass, don’t run away from me. Whatever’s going on, we can talk about it.”
“Since when do you want to be the person who talks about things?” I ask, my tone a little sharper than intended. I slowly exhale and shake my head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I just don’t know what good talking about it is going to do.”
“And the it is that you don’t know what to do after the hometown show?”
