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“You’re an asshole.” Matt drops down into one of the chairs and crosses his arms. “I always knew that the only person you gave a shit about was yourself, but I thought you would grow out of that one day.”
“There’s nothing wrong with going out to party.”
“There is when you look like shit the next day and always look like shit.” Matt ties his hair back and scowls. He gestures at me, his upper lip curling. “Look at you. You’re a mess. How can you think that this is a life worth living?”
“It brings publicity to the band.” I take a long drag of the cigarette and hold the smoke in before exhaling. “I don’t see how that’s a problem. Our sales are starting to drop. The publicity I bring is going to be good for the band.”
“Our sales are dropping because people are tired of seeing you go on a bender!” Ben throws his hands up in the air.
As he drags his hands back down his face, I stare at him. Sales aren’t bad. When I was sober a couple days ago, I did take a look at the sales numbers to see how we were performing. Each month is getting lower than the last, but we’re still doing good.
There’s no need to change my lifestyle when it isn’t the problem.
“We need to release a new single at the very least. Something to get people excited about the potential of a new album before tour.” I flick the cigarette butt into a flowerpot filled with water from last night’s storm. “The problem is that we haven’t released an album in almost two years. People expect more from a band at the top of their game.”
“We’ve released three singles.” Matt gets up and heads for the door. “I’m going to go practice. You two can figure this shit out on your own. I’m done.”
Though I know I should feel bad for causing this much tension between the band, I don’t. While Ben and Matt may be ready to settle down, I’m not. I have too much that I want to do before I get old.
This is supposed to be the best part of our lives. We may be in our thirties now, but we’re still young. We should be having fun while we’re a famous rock band. In another ten or twenty years, people are going to stop caring about us.
We’re going to be just another washed up, dad rock band, just trying to hold onto the audience we have left.
I’ve worked too hard to claw my way out of the nightmare I was raised in. I’m never going back to that life.
Ben sighs and rubs his jaw. “I don’t know what to say to you right now, Tyler. I’ve always known you were a selfish bastard, but I didn’t think you would put our futures in jeopardy because you didn’t want to stop partying every single night.”
I shoot to my feet and glare at him. “You think that everyone has to settle down just because you did. That’s not the life I want. If I want to stay single forever and party every damn night, then that is my fucking business.”
“You’re going to destroy our careers. We’ve worked too damn hard for that, Tyler.”
I wave a dismissive hand at him, already heading for the driveway. “I don’t need to stand here and take this from you. I’m going home and when I come back tomorrow, we can focus on practice for the hometown show.”
Ben says nothing as I storm down the driveway and back to my car. Kennedy watches from the window as I back out, the familiar look of disapproval on her face.
One day they’re going to see that I’m right about this. We’re going to do the hometown show and then we’re going to sell out every last stop on our tour.
CHAPTER 5
CASSIE
I’m getting too damn old to keep sitting on the floor and leaning over notebooks.
My lower back aches as I add another line to the song I’ve been working on for the last couple weeks. Songwriting used to come easily to me. Back in the day, I could sit down and write a song in an hour or two.
These days, I try to work on songs between guitar lessons. The second a kid leaves, I get out the guitar and try to work through all the lyrics swirling around in my head. No matter how many mini writing sessions I get in, none of the songs seem to make any sense.
Paige hums to herself as she sits down across from me. Her flowing skirt billows out around her crossed legs as she leans forward. Her eyebrows furrow as she looks over the lyrics before shaking her head.
“These are great, Cassie. I don’t know why you keep beating yourself up over them.” She grabs one of the notebooks and flipsit around. “You’re going to have to book some studio time and get these recorded.”
I scoff and take the notebook back from her. “There’s no way these songs are ever going to see the light of day.”
“You have to get back out there eventually. It’s been years. I know that the band fucked you over, but sooner or later you have to get over that and try again.”
“There’s nothing to try without songs of my own.” I sigh and close the notebook. “Paige, that part of my life is over now. Between teaching and then trying to live a normal life, I don’t have time for recording music.”
“If you put a couple songs out there, you might be able to get that house you’ve always dreamed of.” She snatches the notebook back from me and starts flipping through it. “You have enough completed songs in here to record three different albums at least.”
