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Branko had been maybe the most patient with me of all of the nobles I’d met and not just the ones who wanted to be involved with me. He was way more patient than most of them on anything, so if he was pushing or anxious then I was listening.
I waited until we were in my tower but didn’t take him to my room, opting for my greenhouse for all my seeds that I never got to do anything with. Seeing it all empty and alone made me sad, but right then wasn’t the time to focus on that.
“Don’t be sad, My Princess,” he whispered. “I’m sorry that—”
“No, it’s this room and how I never get to use it,” I admitted, turning and taking his hand. I led us to the bench, so we had the pretty view of the night.
He waited until I sat down before joining me, always a gentleman like that. “I’m sorry you never get a chance to rest and relax.”
“None of us do in the apocalypse. I keep thinking soon, but then something else happens.”
Like killing another princess and taking over a coven.
I mentally waved that off and focused on him. “What’s going on? Talk to me.” I nodded when he hesitated. “Branko, we’re courting. I want us to be able to talk. You seem off. Is something going on or do you need…” I sighed. “I don’t want to put my other relationships on you, but so much went wrong because we didn’t talk to each other. I don’t want to keep making that—”
He cupped my face and kissed me.
I knew why he did it, but I pulled away. That was what my husbands had always done, and nothing got resolved with that. Yes, we felt better in the moment, but sex didn’t solve anything. All we became was sex and physical.
I wanted more than that.
Didn’t other people?
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, rubbing his thumb against my skin. “I want to talk and we’re more than physical.” He smiled when I flinched, realizing that I’d said something out loud. “I just didn’t want you to get upset. You have too much upset already to add my worries on your very young, very pretty shoulders.”
“Thank you, but I want us to be a team if we’re going to court and date or whatever.”
“Me too. I’m just very old and don’t know how to articulate what I’m feeling. I don’t know I should or if it will upset you.”
I slowly nodded, knowing that feeling well. “You’re not someone who starts drama. You’re the most patient noble I know. If there’s something you need, please tell me. If I can help, I will. You do for me. Recording the books. Taking reading dates—all of it helps me even if you enjoy it too. I want to be able to do things like that for you too.”
“Thank you, My Princess.” He gave me a soft kiss that seemed more for courage. “I want a night with you. Like a date night. Humans used to have those with their partners so they always made time for each other no matter what else was going on around them.”
That actually sounded… Really nice.
I slowly nodded. “So Wednesdays are yours? We have dinner, spend time, and you spend the night?”
“Yes, exactly like that. Or if we can’t do Wednesdays because something happens, we switch that week.” He cleared his throat and moved his other hand to my hip. “But I did want to ask about being allowed to be in your private dining room. We are courting, so I hoped it was an oversight.”
I opened my mouth but then closed it. “It was what Kristof said, but everything was so volatile that I—I worry they’ll think I’m replacing them. That’s always what seems to be at the front of their minds.”
“Especially with that horribly unfair shot Darius took at you about the waiting line you have,” he murmured, kissing my forehead when I flinched. “You’re right that it is the life of a princess, but he was a jerk. I understand your hurt, but I truly believe he doesn’t feel that way or you would replace them. I’ve heard him talk about that many times.”
“I’m not there yet to hear that,” I grumbled.
“That’s fair and thank you for telling me. I’m not trying to defend him but help you not hurt. I hate how often I sense your hurt.”
I nodded. “We could have Wednesday night be ours. I need to talk to Kristof and—he would be welcome, right?”
“Yes, of course. And I would never try to take his place.”
I sighed. “No, you would never be cruel, but he has so much to do, and I know staying all night, every night with me is hard.”
“No, no, it is not,” he argued. “He has told many of us that he enjoys it and values how much closer he feels to you.”
“I know. I believe that and him,” I promised. “It’s still hard that he can’t get as much done as he needs to or wants to. He’s with me most of the day—I’m not—it’s their fault. I have four husbands and three fucked up so bad they’re not allowed in my bed. I need this support and help, and I’m sad it all falls on Kristof because he’s the only one who loved me enough.”
He hugged me and then pulled me on his lap when I turned away. He murmured that they were fools, like all idiot men, but would win me back and show me that they loved me. It was all sweet and so funny how harsh he was on men that it pushed me out of my sadness.
