Page 74 of Amassed Forces


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I blinked at him for several moments before tears burned in my eyes. I tried to force them away with sheer will as I hurried to stare at the ground, but I felt a few fall. “I had a panic attack. I’m not a bitchy selfish princess who needs the focus on her all of the time.”

“No, you actually hate that,” Moon muttered as he squatted down next to me. “Do you want to go back, My Princess?”

I didn’t know what to say. It seemed like the date was a fail now, especially since James apparently didn’t have a high opinion of me.

He moved to kneel on either side of me and hugged me. “I didn’t think you were being bitchy or selfish. I thought maybe Trisha told you how annoyed she gets that I make friends everywhere and when we go out and then we don’t spend much time together. I do—I don’t mean to be a jerk and do that. It wasn’t long though, so I thought…”

“It wasn’t that.” But I hadn’t liked that he was doing it either. It wasn’t about the focus needing to be all about me, but we were on the date after all. He had been so busy talking with others, so then why did we take the time to see each other?

But it hadn’t been very long. That was true.

“What happened, sexy bite?” he whispered. “No one said anything mean. We were talking about stuff we missed just like we do a lot and—”

“Which she doesn’t remember and has recently found out why,” Tian bit out. “Don’t you think that might—”

“I get it and you’re right,” James cut in. “Is that what happened?” He sighed when I nodded. “Shit, I’m sorry. You’ve handled all of this crazy like such a rock star that I didn’t think…” He kissed my hair. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.” Yes. Yes, I wanted to talk about it, but I was scared he’d get upset again or think I was being a jerk. I was worried that we couldn’t salvage this first date and it was all a mistake.

I was worried that knowing what I did now—only that little bit—had broken me even worse than everything else had.

Tian snorted, letting me know he knew the truth.

“Do you want to finish your food or go home?” Moon asked.

“Don’t go home,” James muttered. “Let me help you. Let’s eat and watch a movie. Something nice and calm.”

“And maybe pay attention to your date who doesn’t like to be the focus,” Tian said at a level he probably didn’t think I’d hear, but I was stronger than before so I did.

Honestly, I was grateful to him that he said it. He was right. It was clear I didn’t like to be the focus and talk to strangers. I was there to spend time with James. Plus, there was something else and it was fair to say.

I raised my head and met his gaze. “All those people were talking about how much they wanted things that I can give them. I can turn back on the factories and I’m the boss. I have enough pressure on me and people constantly adding more to the list. I want to be off work on my Friday night too.”

He swallowed loudly and nodded. “That’s totally fair, and I yell at people all of the time to stop putting so much pressure on you. I’m sorry.” He helped me stand and searched my eyes. “Do you want to eat somewhere privately or do you just want to finish there?”

“You should already know that answer if you say you love her,” Tian bit out. “And why would she tell you if you’re going to act like she was a jerk when you were?”

“Tian,” I sighed, nodding when he did a double take. Yeah, I heard that too. Then I sighed again, feeling more like him. “Let’s just go finish eating. I was hungry.”

“Hey, if you want to call it a night, we call it a night, sexy bite,” James said firmly, cupping my face so I looked at him. “You want to skip this and watch a movie at the castle. That’s awesome too. I have a special order of ice cream waiting for us and we can grab it and watch the movie or not. I can read to you or whatever you want.”

That was the sweet James that I fell in love with.

“I’m too fried for a table in the middle of so many and just—I deal with all the groups and people all day. I’m not an extrovert like you.”

“It’s better for the world that there aren’t other people just like me,” he teased. “Okay, let’s eat on the truck bed and just get messy if we get messy.” He gave me a wink and asked Tian to bring me to the truck while he grabbed the food with Moon.

Tian did it, but then we were alone again.

“How often do you start shit like that thinking that I can’t hear it?”

He flinched at my question. “Never. I can’t think of a single time.” He let out a sigh when I kept staring at him. “I’m not an extrovert either.” He shrugged when I snorted. “I don’t like people who push or act like just because they’re fine, it’s not something anyone should feel uncomfortable with. James got stuck a bit in the age he was born of.

“Women should smile to be friendly. Guys should joke around and always make new buddies when they go out. I’m sure it served him well in the military even. It’s probably knee-jerk for survival in that setting. But you’re not like that, and watching someone push you like that fucking triggers me on feeling that for—thousands of years.

“Kristof would have known not to sit you in the middle of all of those tables. You’d be fine on an end table and watching it all, enjoying the ambiance, but in the middle is like sensory overload for people like us. He should fucking know that as your knight. I bet Tyson would have. Maggie and Hope for sure.”

“You’re right, they would have and I…” James trailed off.

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