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“Which is why I’ve found his behavior of late to be somewhat… vexing,” Avalar explained. “And very… noticeable.”
Quaia stared at her.
“Since our arrival, I have found him to be exceptionally moody,” Avalar admitted. “Again, I would appreciate it if…”
“Of course,” Quaia said, waving away her concern. “My lips are sealed.”
Avalar nodded and smiled. “I have a suspicion, and it is only that, he has not said anything to me, that his pride in his sense of duty and his… heart are pulling him in two different directions. This is very unusual for him. And I could not help but notice that this change seemed to coincide with our arrival on this station.”
Quaia sat and stared at Avalar as a long silence passed between them.
“I could not help but infer that this change might have something to do with the captain making your acquaintance,” Avalar finally said, her voice barely above a whisper.
Quaia looked at her hands. She felt like crying. Avalar wasn’t a friend, she was barely an acquaintance. But she desperately needed someone to confide in, to pour her own heart out to.
“Can I ask you something?” she sniffed, looking up. Avalar simply looked at her patiently, which was good, because now that she’d gathered the courage, she wasn’t about wait for Avalar’s permission. “What’s a Voklha?”
This certainly captured Avalar’s attention, and it caused her to go pale at first, even as her eyes lit up brightly with recognition. Fear played across her features, and confusion. “This is… who has spoken to you about this?” she asked. She seemed agitated.
“I didn’t mean to—it was Torian,” Quaia said quickly.
Avalar blinked slowly, as if the information was too much to take in. But then her expression changed, as the thoughts she kept so secret inside her made their way through her mind. She smiled cautiously. But shook her head shortly after.
“Torian is a warrior; he does not possess a Voklha,” she said. But doubt tinged her voice.
“That’s what he said,” Quaia told her, and reached for her hands. She squeezed them. “Please, Avalar. I need to understand—”
“The Voklha is a… life force. I struggle… with the translation. It is for males when they meet their own life force in female form. Then they are forever joined.” Avalar’s eyes became moist, and she withdrew her hands. “I have never met my mate,” she said sadly.
“I’m sorry,” Quaia said, reaching for her. Avalar pulled away and stood up.
“I apologize for my emotions. I must return now with your answer.”
Quaia looked up at her, her own eyes filling with tears. She didn’t want to pry any further into Avalar’s wounds, but she was desperate to know about the Voklha, if it was real, what it implied.
Avalar was still waiting, looking at the floor.
“Avalar, if I—”
The Vokl lifted her eyes and met Quaia’s with a steady and resolute gaze. “If I were to ever meet my Voklha,” she said, “I wouldn’t let it escape me. One should never choose loneliness.”
Quaia’s heart felt like the great, deep void of darkness in space for a moment.
“Tell him I’ll dine with him,” she said, the words leaving on the last traces of breath in her chest, because Avalar’s words had hit her like a wall.
Avalar bowed her head and smiled. “It will be done.”
She paused at the door and turned back to Quaia. “My friend,” she said quietly. “I can obtain a more… formal form of clothing for you, if you wish.”
Quaia considered this for only a moment. She desperately wanted, she realized, to look good for the captain. The snag was in the set of rules he’d given her.
But even as she considered that, she recognized a mischievous and strange desire within herself: surely, Torian wouldn’t punish her in this situation, for breaking the rules? He, after all, was breaking them as well.
But that wasn’t the curious part of her thinking. The curious part was when she thought about the consequences, she almost craved them.
“Yes,” she said brightly. “I would like that very much.”
CHAPTER 13
