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As if the same images that flooded his thoughts, of “trying” and “trying” some more, flooded hers as well.
“Done,” she whispered, looking rather in awe of him in that moment.
“Finally—”
“There’s more?” she rasped.
“We do this only for the heir. After you deliver a healthy boy, we will be back to what we are now. The Queen and her Shadow.”
She blinked as if she didn’t entirely comprehend.
“Of- of course,” she nevertheless answered.
“I will never be your whore, Heba,” he promised low.
“Do you understand?”
Joltingly, she nodded, blinking hard, as if sand got trapped in her eyes.
Shai didn’t think she truly knew what he was saying.
She would never know what it cost him to do this. To let himself have this slice of heaven, then return to eternal hell.
If he touched her…if he gave her his body, his seed, he would cross the last fragile divide that separated her from his vulnerable heart.
This joining might be a means to an end for her. She would certainly enjoy it if he had anything to say about it.
But it waseverythingto him.
Every yearning, every dream. Every hope and wish.
He’d stored so many of them in the deepest recesses of his soul, and all of them had her name on it.
She would never know how much it hurt to see her wedded to Thutmose. To hear her defenseless, desperate cries on their marriage night.
To see her go to her husband every moon cycle. To see the defeated, disgusted, frozen look on her face upon her exit from his chambers.
To not hold her in the aftermath. Or barrel into the Pharaoh’s chambers and beat him into an insensate, bloody heap of broken bones.
She would never know.
She nodded solemnly and said at last, “I understand. I accept your conditions.”
He closed his eyes briefly and inhaled a bracing breath.
When he opened them, he said:
“Then, come take me, Heba. I am yours.”
Forevermore.
~ * ~* ~ *~ * ~* ~ *~ * ~
How did one exactly “take” a man?
Heba gnawed on her lower lip, her eyes level with the middle of Shai’s massive chest. Doubt swamped her as never before.
Of course, she’d “taken” Thutmose for the purposes of procreation. She’d had to. Waiting for him to do his duty would have resulted in endless repeats of her marriage night.
