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She pressed closer, just barely grazing his lips with her own. But he held her purposefully back, angling slightly out of reach.
He was shaking, his body quivering with stress, his heart thrashing wildly in his chest. The ever-present ache he always carried around Heba pressed tightly against his sternum, closing his throat.
No one else in the world possessed the power to hurt him as she did. No one ever would. Not even death could deter him from protecting her from the afterlife. He would conquer any and all who stood in his way.
But this…
Taking Heba yet not trulyhavingher…
Giving everything without expectation of receiving in equal measure…
Sharing the deepest intimacies that two living beings could ever share one moment, but fearing that she might push him away the next…
It fuckinghurt.
“Shai…” she sighed, her petal-soft mouth now rubbing lightly against his.
Simply touching. Seeking. Learning the contours and textures of his lips.
He kept one hand on her hip and moved the other to the back of her neck, holding her still, exerting what little control he could over his wildly out-of-control, bruised and battered heart. Some imaginary control over an act that would crush him at the same time as it lifted him up.
There was no going back from this.
He’d crossed a line long ago, then retreated into no man’s land, a purgatory on earth that was neither here nor there.
Now, if they did this, if he gave her what she wanted, he could never go back.
All or nothing.
Heaven or hell.
There would be no more in-between.
“Shai…” she said again, pressing her small breasts into his chest, hugging him to her with all of her strength.
“I want you so…”
With a deep exhale, he finally gave in.
He crushed her mouth to his and simply devoured her.
Her sharp inhale filled the heavy, expectant silence as he took her breath into himself, taking her in, while breathing out into her mouth, filling her full of him. Their fused breaths shuddered and sighed, lips melding, rubbing, lapping at one another.
Instinctively, he delved into her minty, moist hollow with his tongue, thrusting shallowly at first, just dipping in for a taste.
She welcomed him, mewled with encouragement, angling her head to take more of him. As if she couldn’t get enough. So impatient and needy.
Then, with a groan, he plunged deeper, bolder, mimicking the undulations of his hips below, of the strain of his cock toward her core.
She was pliant under his assault, opening under him like a flower in full bloom. She sucked on his tongue the way she suckled his cock so long ago. Eager and voracious, unconsciously pulling him closer, harder into her. As if she wanted to absorb him into herself. To become one in every way.
When they both ran out of breath, too focused on taking in each other than taking in the air, he pulled away slightly to nuzzle her lips and jaw, kiss her cheeks and eyelids, brow and temples. He buried his nose in her neck and drew in her fragrance like a drug.
She squirmed restlessly on his lap, trying to climb him like a tree. Her hands clawed into the hair at the nape of his neck and pulled. Her beaded nipples scraped against his chest, and her soft stomach rubbed against his hard shaft.
He stroked the back of her neck, up and down the length of her spine to soothe her, calm her, like gentling a wild thing.
But she wouldn’t be calmed. Soon enough, she grew tired of his meandering and brought his mouth back to her, yanking hard on his hair to get him there.
