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“Fuck you, man. Obviously, I’m sure. She’s been gone way too long for it to be that.”
“No need for the attitude,” Xander told me, silencing me with a very paternalistic glare. “Let’s grab our king. Talk it over before we freak out any more.”
We grabbed Bryce the second we were able, and once we’d explained the situation to him too, the three of us shared a glance. It was one of the all-knowing, dramatic glances only lifelong friends could share. Instantly, the vibe morphed from the easygoing fun of the dance into one of shared urgency. I wasn’t sure what could have happened to Jade at a chaperoned school dance, but that didn’t stop me from worrying that something had happened to Jade. Something terrible, my pessimistic brain said, but I tried to channel Jade’s optimism to counteract it.
That was a lot harder to do when she wasn’t fuckinghere.
Frantic searches ensued. Bryce, Xander, and I looked like total freaks, weaving through the labyrinth of people, calling out for Jade to no avail. It was Leah's date who finally revealed the truth—he’d seen Jade and Leah leave the gym, and then he’d gotten a text from his date.
“She, uh, apologized, of course,” the kid stammered. He was clearly still afraid of us in this context, and honestly, we were all giving off such feral energy, I probably would have been scared in his shoes, too. “But Leah said there was some kind of emergency and they had to go. Something with Jade, I guess?”
Anger surged within me like a tempest, threatening to consume me even as anxiety still warred for its place in the storm. We all reached for our phones, fingers flying across screens to text Jade, only to be met with an unexpected group message from a number we didn’t know.
Hey,guys, this is Leah! Sorry to freak y’all out, but Jade didn’t feel well and I helped her get home bc her phone was dying. She misses u guys! <3
Relief washedover all of us in a gentle wave, the typical push-pull of the tide, but I couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. Jade, always so fiercely independent, still would have at least texted us herself before running home to her aunt’s house.
The uneasy sensation lingered, an echo of the past suspicion that had led me to confront Jade about her old school, her old life. I’d known then that something wasn’t right, too—that there was more to the story. I knew by now to trust my instincts, and right now, they were screaming at me. My girl wasn’t okay, and this wasn’t over.
32
JADE
I’d done the scariest possible task. I’d peed on the stupid stick—or rather, sticks. Three of them, to be exact. I’d waited the excruciating three minutes or so that each package had asked for, and I’d looked, even though I was terrified to do it. And every single one had the same result.
In some kind of cruel joke from the universe, I was pregnant.
I was still in disbelief. I’d always been so careful, had never had so much as a scare in all the time I was with Owen. I took my pill every night, and Owen and I had always used condoms.
But of course, when the guys,myguys, had entered the picture, all of my good sense had flown right out the window. For once, I’d trusted someone enough to let go of my need to always be so safe, so careful, because I felt safe in their arms. And in my pleasure-induced delirium, I must have missed a pill or two in my pack.
Now, as I paced my room at Aunt Lynette’s house, so much cozier than the larger room I’d had at the home I’d lived in with my parents, I decided to check. I grabbed my pill pack from the nightstand, and with shaking hands, I opened it.
The proof was right there. My days were all screwed up, and my period was late, and somehow, seeing the evidence, even beyond the three pregnancy tests I’d hidden in the spare bathroom across from my room… it all became more real. Panic set in, cold and constricting in my chest, my throat. I was eighteen and pregnant, the worst kind of melodramatic movie cliché.
I’d never even held a baby before. I’d taken care of horses, sure, but a human child…fuck.There was absolutely no way I was prepared to be a mother. With each new detail my brain thought of, I could feel myself freaking out even more. My hands tingled, an oncoming panic attack rearing its ugly head. What would I do about college? Choosing a career? God, what would my parents say when they found out? What would the guys say?
That last thought hit me full-force, and I almost wanted to throw up. What the hell was I going to tell Dane, Bryce, and Xander? I wasn’t even sure who the father was.
Tears welled up in my eyes, spilling over in an unstoppable torrent. There was something especially terrible, borderline shameful, about having no idea which one of thethreemen I’d been having unprotected sex with had knocked me up. Which life I was going to ruin alongside my own. Which bright future I was going to derail. Would it be the promising trust fund prince with a future career as a human rights lawyer? The troubled young man who’d grown up with little money and even less love, repeating the cycle of unplanned parenthood before he could become a writer like he dreamed? Or the carefree sunshine boy who maintained an admirable sense of childlike joie-de-vivre, destined for a full-ride football scholarship?
I took a few deep breaths through my shaky sobs, forcing my mind to go quiet. I just needed quiet. Just for a minute, and then maybe this would all go away. Everything would go back to how it was before, perfect and happy and easy, just my guys and me.
When I calmed down, the situation hadn’t changed, but I made a decision. I was so newly an adult myself, I needed guidance from someone older and smarter than me.
I found Aunt Lynette in the living room, reading a beat-up paperback book with her legs tucked up underneath her in her chair. I stopped in the doorway, too terrified to speak up. Luckily, she noticed my presence herself and gave me a warm smile as she put her book down.
“Hey, honey. I was just reading one of those cheesy mysteries you used to like when you were a kid. The ones with the horse racing angle, remember?”
“I remember,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. At my tone, she frowned.
“What’s wrong?” She watched my mouth open and close, the words I needed to say struggling to form on my lips. Aunt Lynette stood up and rushed over to me, gently tugging on my hands and pulling us both over to the couch. She urged me to sit, and then she asked again, “Jade, honey, it’s okay, whatever it is. Please, will you tell me what’s wrong? You know you can tell me anything.”
When I was finally able to choke out the words, “I’m pregnant,” the explosion my anxious mind had been waiting for didn’t come. Instead, Aunt Lynette’s kind green eyes softened even further, her grip on my hands tightening with a determined sort of love I really needed right now.
“Oh, my sweet girl. Who’s the father?”
That made me start crying. She seemed to understand instinctively that I had no way of knowing, because her eyes grew wider with surprise.
