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“Oh, you poor thing. You must be scared to death. Come here.”
For a long while, she hugged me to her chest and let me cry, the endless stream of tears and her sweet, reassuring wordsseeming to wash away the darkest pieces of my worry. By the time we were both able to talk, she’d put on her practical adult hat, exactly what I needed.
“You have options, you know, Jade? You don’t have to be a mom if you’re not ready. I’m here for you whatever you choose, and—” She cut herself off, winced a little, then started again. “I don’t have to tell your mom and dad, okay? If you decide to get rid of?—”
“No,” I felt myself say before I’d made any conscious choice. I repeated it, growing surer with each second. “No, I… I don’t think I can do that. Me and my guys… this baby is ours.”
“You… want to keep it?” she asked me, not judging at all but making sure I was in my right mind.
“I don’t know,” I clarified. I ran my hand through my hair, having a silly thought that maybe if I did have this baby, maybe it could be a real redhead. Though I felt like I’d known them all my life, I didn’t actually know Bryce, Xander, or Dane’s family histories. I wasn’t sure about the guys’ genes or which of them would have contributed to this baby in the first place, so the possibilities seemed endless. It almost made me want to laugh. “I don’t know, Aunt Lyn. All I know is how I feel about the guys, and… they’re all so special to me. I don’t think I could stand to lose any part of them.”
God, I must be insane. I couldn’t seriously be considering having a baby when I wasn’t even finished with high school. Sure, nine months from now, school would be out for the summer, but could I really pregnant-waddle through the halls of Coldwater High, through senior prom and finals week, across the stage at graduation? And after everything, could I learn to be a mother to my babyandkeep hold of the three men who were all, in my heart, the father?
“It’s clear that you love these boys a lot,” Aunt Lynette said carefully, breaking a long, poignant silence. And though I hadn’tsaid those words out loud even to myself, I knew it was true. I loved and wasin love withXander Townsend, Dane Schwartz, and Bryce Fisher. These three men who had awakened my body and my heart in such a short time, they were a part of me forever now. I nodded, confirming Aunt Lynette’s words.
“And I loveyou,kiddo, so you know I’ll be here for you whatever you decide. But if you really love Bryce, Dane, and Xander, and you’re thinking about… about having their baby, you have to talk to them about it. All of them. You know that, right?”
I did. Even before she said it, I knew she was right. I needed to talk to my guys about this crazy, scary, exciting new development in our lives, and though I knew each of them deeply in my soul, I still wasn’t sure how that conversation would go.
33
BRYCE
It had been days since the homecoming dance, and the silence from Jade was deafening. Something had shifted, something bad that she was hiding from us, just the way she’d lied to us at the beginning of all of this. There was a change in the air that left Dane, Xander, and I all adrift in uncertainty, and damn it, I’d never felt anything like it in my life.
Jade came to class, as usual, still keeping up her perfect grades. But without blatantly blowing us off, somehow, she avoided the three of us at school, slipping through the hallways without a word or even her usual sassy smile. Even in class, her once vibrant spirit had been replaced by a quiet, distant version of herself. It may not have been very manly of me to admit, but I was fucking terrified that we were losing her.
In Spanish class, I held back, resisting the urge to tease her like I usually would. It felt wrong, like a piece of our puzzle had fallen between some cosmic couch cushions, never to be seen again. A gnawing worry crept in, a feeling that was completely foreign to me—maybe she had changed her mind about us, about the peculiar dance of emotions we had all stumbled into. Worse yet was the thought I had in my weakest moments—maybe Jadehad realized how deep my feelings for her ran, and she was keeping her distance in an attempt to reject me with kindness.
After school, the void without Jade grew palpable. Xander, Dane, and I followed our routine, heading to Xander's basement after the final bell, but the usual camaraderie felt strained without Jade’s infectious laughter and sassy remarks. As we tried to play video games, the room echoed with a hollow emptiness. It was almost comical, hearing the computerized beeps and sound effects, such a silly contrast to the gloomy energy we were all stuck in.
I couldn't take it anymore. My chest tightened, and I could feel the unspoken worry etched on Xander and Dane's faces, too. Somebody had to say something, and damn it, I knew it had to be me.
"Guys," I said, my voice breaking the uneasy silence. All three of our characters in our game had died, and none of us even reacted to the bigGAME OVERmessage. "I really, really hate to be the one making a big decision here. You know that kind of serious shit is not my speed. But… I think we need to go check on Jade. We can’t just keep pretending everything’s fine."
My two best friends exchanged glances, and Xander, always sort of our head honcho, nodded slowly. “You’re right, Bryce.”
“Damn, that may be the first time you’ve ever said that to me,” I joked weakly, and we all exchanged a wan smile. The truth hung heavily in the air—Jade was important to us, more than we had admitted out loud yet. Our combined emotions had woven a complex tapestry, binding us to her in ways that defied easy explanation. “And while I’m saying mushy, hard shit…”
“Bit of an oxymoron,” Dane quipped, but I ignored him.
“I think when we talk to her, we have to tell her how we feel.”
There was no way the three of us would voice that out loud without Jade here to soften us up. But we’d been friends long enough to understand each other without words, so they bothknew what I meant. We were in love with Jade, and she deserved to know that we all wanted to keep her, forever, just the way we were.
Once we’d all piled into Xander's car, we raced to Jade's aunt's house for the first time since the night of the dance, the night everything went wrong. When Jade answered the door, a haunted expression flickered in her eyes. Sick, scared, or both, I couldn't tell, but she definitely looked paler than usual, even her bright hair seeming dimmer.
“Guys,” she said, her voice practically a sigh. One of relief or resignation, I couldn't tell, but it was just so good to hear her voice.
“Let us in, Jade,” Xander said with his signature authority.
“We need to talk,” Dane tacked on, and when she looked to me, I nodded at her through a worried smile. The air crackled with tension as she considered all three of us on her doorstep, biting her perfect lower lip that each of us had bitten before under much happier circumstances.
Jade hesitated, eyes flickering between us. But finally, she relented, opening the door wider. All four of us piled into her aunt’s modest, cozy living room, me and the guys on the couch while Jade stood before us, hugging herself for reassurance. I wished she would let me do that, to be honest, but I needed to let her speak. I could never keep my thoughts straight when I was touching her.
"Jadie," I implored, my voice softer now, laced with concern. "Tell us what’s going on. We’re all going crazy here.”
“We’re not mad,” Dane added, and Xander nodded.
