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“A gift.”
“Yeah.”
“Why do you still have it?”
Lace swallows, and I can see more tears welling in her eyes. She folds her arms across her chest and looks down at the floor with a shrug.
“I don’t know, Joey.”
I stare at the smooth, silvery tin foiled package sitting in the palm of my hand and shake my head. Anger unlike anything I’ve ever felt bubbles below the surface. Ronnie’s face flashes in my mind, and my empty fist curls automatically.
“Fuck this,” I say, and rip the foil open to shake the contents into the toilet. Lace watches me do this, unspeakable, but her blue eyes are wide and slightly terrified. I flush the toilet, then wheel around and go to my own unit. Lace follows. She’s saying something to me, but I’m too angry to distinguish her words. I push past Lace to find the hiding spot in the bottom of the mattress of my bed, then fish my fingers into the material and pull out a shiv I keep stashed there.
“Whoa,” says Lace, backing against the wall. “Why do you have that, baby?”
I secure the shiv into the back pocket of my scrubs and face Lace. “I told her to leave you out of it. And she didn’t listen.”
Lace opens her mouth to speak, but I shoulder past her before she can, still shaking my head, and open my cell door.
“Wait,” Lace calls behind me. “Where are you going?”
“To end this,” I tell her, but I don’t slow my pace. Lace is hot on my heels, breathing ragged, like she’s trying not to panic.
“You can’t do this, Joey.” She’s clutching my arm with one hand, but I don’t slow down. I can’t. I won’t.
“Says who?” I ask instead.
“Says everyone!” Lace tries to drag me to a stop but I refuse, yanking my arm out of her grip. “Ronnie is the Boss, Joey, and she’ll kill you!”
Finally, I come to a halt and turn toward her, taking Lace’s arms between my hands. “Ronnie is the Boss,” I confirm, and Lace nods. “But the Boss can be challenged. Those are the rules. If I challenge Ronnie for her place, no one can help her. It’s just me and her, Lace, and I can take her. I swear it, I can take her.”
“And what happens if you can’t?” A single tear slides down Lace’s cheek, and she wipes it away.
“Then at least I die trying and not as some innocent, pussy street kid who couldn’t even fight her way out of this place.”
“I can’t lose you, Joey.”
“Good,” I say, and touch her cheek with my hand. “Because you won’t.” And before Lace can respond, I walk away.
Veronica’s in the laundry room, unmonitored. It doesn’t matter to me that she’s flanked by her usual posse. I can’t bring myself to care. Many of the women are here for work unit, and when I open the enormous doors and step aside, my eyes landing on Veronica, an unsettling hush falls over the room. One by one the women look up to notice me. Brows furrow. Smirks grow. Some of the women look like they know what’s about to happen and would rather bail. Others are ready … ready for the fight.
It takes Ronnie a second to realize what’s going on, but once she realizes I’m there, her eyes meet mine, and for a mere second a flash of fear flutters over her face, but it’s gone before I can confirm it was ever there.
“Well look what we have here,” she says, setting down a half-folded sheet. Deadeye and Lulu flank her, and Bull brings up the rear. Ronnie steps around the folding table, stopping once her entire body is in view. “You want to challenge me?” She’s trying to make her tone intimidating, threatening, but somewhere underneath her power, her confidence is shaking.
“I don’t see why not.” I fold my arms and stare at her, unwilling to let my chin tremble or my hands shake. “I’m going to be stuck in this place for fuck knows how long. Maybe I’m tired of the way things are run around here.”
There are a few whispers from the women, jeers are laughs. I don’t know if I have their support. I won’t know until I defeat Ronnie.
IfI defeat Ronnie.
“Okay,” she says, smirking. Behind her, Lulu slips Ronnie a small, long object. I don’t have to stare too long to know what it is. It’s a shiv, bigger than mine. And sharper, too.
Fuck.
“Christ,” Lace says quietly behind me. Her voice catches in a sob. “She’ll kill you, Joey.”
“Then let her.” I zip up my sweatshirt and yank my hair back into a ponytail to keep it out of the way. “At least I’ll go down fighting.”
