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“Rowan, don’t cry.” I slide into the chair next to her, reaching out to pull her against me. Silent tears stream down her face, and she sniffs and shakes her head, wiping the tears away as though she can pretend they aren’t there to begin with. Watching her cry devastates me, but I don’t know what to say to make things better. Nothing is better, not for any of us.
“I’m so lost,” she says. “Because honestly, Bryce, I’m so taken with all of you. With you and Dereck and Matt, too. And I don’t know what to do about that.”
I don’t say anything because I don’t have an answer for her. All I can think to do is hold her against me while she cries. Be there for her. And while all of this is happening, I also can’t stop thinking about the night we had sex … the feel of her warm skin, so soft, against my own …
“Jesus.” I have to pull away from Rowan to keep from losing my mind, and she stares at me with sad, remorseful eyes.
“What’s wrong?”
“I can’t be around you without wanting you, Row. All of you.”
She sighs and nods, wiping the remainder of the tears away with the back of her hand. I want to keep my distance, I feel I have to, but I can’t follow through. Instead, I lean into her and gently kiss her forehead, resting my lips on the softness of her skin. Rowan closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, but she respects the space between us and stays where she’s at. I want to keep it that way until she decides what to do, or who she wants, but I can’t. Instead, I pull her closer to me, and Rowan melts into my arms, softly crying again.
We stay like that for what feels like an eternity; an eternity I never want to end, until Jamie wakes up and comes down the stairs, spotting us sitting at the kitchen table.
“Hi, Bryce,” she says, and her eyes dart from me to Rowan, a small brow furrow crossing her features. “Is everything okay?”
“Everything is good,” Rowan says, and I release her, even though I don’t want to.
“Yeah,” I murmur. “Everything is great.”
Everything is not great, of course, but I’m not going to pile it on. Rowan is clearly a mess, but she’s not the only one.
“I was just leaving, anyway,” I say quickly, standing up to offer Jamie my seat. “I just wanted to check and see how things were.”
“Thank you, Bryce,” Rowan says, lifting the styrofoam cup to tilt it in my direction. “I’m really glad you stopped by. Seriously.”
“Of course.” I smile as Rowan stands and hugs me briefly. Her eyes are red, cheeks tear-stained, but she’s still gorgeous and it takes whatever self-control I have left not to bid her goodbye with a throbbing hard-on.
As I shut the front door behind me and walk back to our house with my hands deep in the pockets of my jacket, I realize that every time I think I can get over Rowan Bates and leave Dereck and Matt to fight over her, I see the girl’s face and we’re back to square one.
