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“In a way, I am. Let’s say none of the criminal activities he was involved with took place. Would you have continued to live that miserable life?”
“Lindsey first of all, I need to clarify something with you. I would have left your father regardless of the fact that I met Slate. Everything would have unfolded exactly the way it did irrespective of your father’s criminal activities. I would still have danced as ‘Diamond Girl’ and carved an identity out for myself. So, if in fact the criminal activities had not occurred, I would never have met Slate. The outcome between your father and I would still have been the same. We were done.”
I looked at her for a moment, trying to choose my words carefully so as not to offend her.
“Do you feel independent now, Mom?”
“I’m not sure I follow.”
“Well, the fact remains that circumstances being what they were from the time you met Daddy until now have not shown whether you could be independent if there was cause to be. I mean you left your parents’ home to be with Daddy. When you and Daddy split, you were already with Slate. The closest you ever came to being an independent woman was when you did your stint as a dancer and earned a living.”
I could tell I had pissed her off slightly. It was a valid question, especially in light of the fact that Grandma who had been under the direction of Granddaddy all of these years, was suddenly faced with carrying on without him.
“I think I understand what you are asking me, Lindsey. You are right. I’ve never had to be independent. Jack was the decision maker, brought home the bacon, handled the finances the majority of the time. I suppose I have been blessed financially being who my father was and knowing that no matter what, I would never end up on the streets homeless or anything.
"I am happy with who I am now. I love my husband, my little baby boy, and my almost grown up daughter. I love that Slate and I make decisions together and respect each other’s differences.
"If that were to ever change and I found myself becoming the Sammie I used to be, I can honestly say I would certainly exercise my right of independence. Does that answer your question?”
I smiled over at her. I knew she was being honest about that and I was glad. She had found her niche finally, and I knew that I would find mine.
I wanted different things for myself than she did, but that was natural.
I wanted a career and independence before committing to anyone else. It was if she was reading my thoughts.
“Lindsey, I want you to know that I am really very proud of you. You have enough independence for the both of us. You do well in school and have aspirations that I admire. I am confident that no one will ever cause you to doubt yourself or the decisions you make. You have strength, integrity and you have a heart. I think just maybe you got the best of each of us and none of the bad.”
“Oh, Mom,” I said, scooting to the edge of the bed to hug her, “thank you for telling me that.”
“I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you sooner. I’ve always felt that way about you.”
“So, how is Grandma?”
“Still rather quiet and withdrawn. I’ve made the funeral arrangements and our travel arrangements. We leave early morning on the 27th for Indianapolis. The funeral is on the 28th. I have left my return open pending how well I can get Mom situated at their condo there. I will probably spend a couple of weeks with her to help her sort their affairs out with their personal attorney.”
“Are Slate and Bryce going?”
“Yes both of them are coming with us for the funeral, but Slate and the baby are flying back with you on the 29th. Is it a problem for you to watch Bryce while Slate works?”
“No Mom, he’s my bubby. Of course, I would love to have some time with him. You’ll be back before the 11th then?”
“God, I hope so. I can’t imagine it taking any longer than a week or two.”
“Do you think Grandma will want to stay in Indianapolis?”
“At this point, it is too early to tell. We just need to take it one day at a time. Now, one very important thing I came up to tell you is that there are a bunch of unopened Christmas presents under that tree with your name on them. Come on.”
“I think I better put some clothes on first, Mom.”
“Okay, sweetie. See you in a few.”
I felt better as I redressed in my earlier outfit. I didn’t want there to be a wedge between Mom and me ever.-
CHAPTER 17
(Taz)
I heard the honking of Slate’s truck blowing out front.
