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“An epiphany,” he echoed. “I see.”
Oh that sounds patronizing, Counselor!
“Was this epiphany after you'd finished most of your wine?”
“Don’t be flippant with me,” I warned. Trey continued watching me, waiting for the enlightenment. I waved my hand, “If you’re going to be an ass, then just forget it.”
“I’m sorry, Tylar,” he replied. “Please go on.”
“Okay,” I started just as the waitress set my next drink down. I took a sip. “While I was watching TV, it came to me: the reason for my nightmares. The reason that you heard what you heard was that I was reliving an event from my past in my dream at the hospital.”
“I’m listening,” Trey said.
“My senior year of high school, Daniel was my boyfriend. We’d been seeing each other almost the whole year. He was a star football player; he had a full ride to Purdue in the fall. He was way too good for me, and I knew that.”
Trey frowned and shook his head when I said that. I ignored him and continued, telling him everything about the night of my senior prom with Daniel. I explained about the earrings and necklace, my getting drunk and passing out and how it was supposed to have been my first time with Daniel. I got to the part about my waking up in the bathroom and going to look for my mom. I started tearing up and stopped.
Trey reached across the table and took my hand. The waitress delivered our calamari. Trey served me a portion of the appetizer and waited for me to continue.
“When I went downstairs to where I heard the voices, I discovered that my mom and Daniel were in the den off the kitchen. They didn't see me.”
I faltered, embarrassed and ashamed at what was left to tell. I took a big swallow of my drink and then decided just to blurt it out and be done with it.
“My mom was on her knees giving Daniel a blow job. I'd prefer not to go into all of the horrible details, but suffice it to say, they enjoyed each other thoroughly that night in every way possible. My mother made Daniel promise to dump me. She said that she wouldn’t tolerate sharing him with me. He said that it was no problem.”
I took another drink, and bowed my head. Trey reached for my hand.
“Tylar, it’s no wonder you pushed something like that from your mind. That had to be horrible for you.”
“It’s not just that Trey. There seems to be all sorts of things that I've repressed, trying to believe in some way that my life was normal. And now, I learn that my mom was never even married to my dad, or anyone else for that matter. Do you know what that makes me?”
“Tylar, don’t,” he said.
“I’m not just a bastard, Trey. I’m the bastard daughter of a paid whore!”
“Tylar,” Trey said firmly, “You're what you've made of yourself despite your mother. Don’t you understand that? You're smart, funny, and kind. Yes, you're also stubborn, willful, and argumentative. But you see, you're your own person and a very beautiful one at that."
Trey was being so kind. But I worried that he pitied me, and I didn’t want his pity. “Trey, you know as well as I do that my dad might be …what do they call it…one of her tricks?
“Tylar,” he scolded. “I am not going to sit here and listen to you degrade yourself like that. I mean it.”
“I've a point to this, Trey, if you'd please bear with me?” He nodded, allowing me to continue. “My point is, whoever this guy was or is there's a reason he set up my trust and kept my mom financially stable for 18 years. I don’t know, maybe the guy has a heart or a conscience or something. I just wish that I knew more.”
The waitress brought our entrées just as Trey’s cell phone rang. He glanced down, “I have to take this. Will you excuse me? Go ahead and start.” He left the table.
The waitress put the last plate on the table. I held up my empty glass. “I’d like another, please?”
I wasn’t sure who Trey was speaking to, but I managed to finish off my next drink without him being any the wiser. He came back and we ate our dinner mostly in silence. I needed to use this time to address something that'd been bothering me. Now that I had some liquid courage, it was the perfect time.
“Trey,” I said, looking at him directly.
“Yes?”
“There’s a bit of confusion as to where I'll be assigned when I get back. The doctor's cleared me, you know. I really want to start working with the horses again.”
“Tylar,” he answered, in a very serious tone, leaning forward, “I’m apprehensive about you working around all those horses. How would you feel about focusing solely on getting Derringer ready for dressage competition?”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. This was an once-in-a-lifetime chance! But I knew my limitations with dressage. I wasn't to training status. Trey read my mind.
