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Kenzi, Otto, and Missus P pile into the car. As I drive them to Lighthouse Medical, there are ants under my skin.
I keep it together for Kenzi. She’s happy. And hopeful. And she deserves to be both of those things.
But something about this doesn’t feel right.
“How long does the surgery take?” Kenzi asks from the passenger’s seat.
“Six hours. Maybe more, depending.”
“On complications?”
“On anything. It’s just a delicate procedure.”
“But it’s safe, right?”
She’s asking a million questions, and I reach over to give her thigh a squeeze.
“I’ll give you the full run down at the hospital. Okay?”
She smiles, tightly, but I can tell she’s anxious.
“Can you stop the car?” Otto says from the backseat. He’s been quiet this whole drive and I blink in surprise.
“You okay, bud?”
“Just—stop. Please.”
I glance at Kenzi. She smile falls and she looks just as confused as I feel.
I pull the car to the side and, the second it stops, Otto unbuckles his seatbelt and jumps out.
“Otto!” Kenzi starts to get up, but I put a palm up to stall her.
“Give us five?” I ask.
Her eyes are wild, frantic. “But—”
“Five minutes. That’s all.”
I squeeze her hand and then release it. Reluctantly, she hangs back.
I get out of the car. I know where Otto’s going.
He’s climbed the rope separating the road from the dunes and he trudges through a narrow footpath that’s almost completely snowed over at this point. I follow him and we wind through the trees.
The clearing opens up at Donovan’s “Screaming Rock.”
Otto goes to the edge, but he doesn’t scream. He just sits down on the ground, hard, and stares out at the long stretch of ocean below.
His puffy jacket makes his movements awkward. He digs a small rock out from the hardened dirt. I watch as he launches the rock through the air to the ocean below.
“Otto.” I say his name, but he doesn’t turn around. He just pries out another stone.
I step over and sit down beside him. The morning cold freezes the inside of my throat and I can see my breath in front of my lips.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
He shakes his head. His blue eyes are cast down. He looks like he’s holding back tears.
