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“You’re getting worse as the days go by. Even I can’t seem to break through your nightmares anymore.”
I’d hoped that having Zain at my side would make them go away like they had at the beginning, but each night they returned. And they were only getting more graphic and stronger.
“It’s only been a few days.”
His eyes studied mine intently. “Perhaps we should go back and get you help. This was a bad idea. After being taken again, I should have known things weren’t just going to change because I was in the picture. You need help, baby. Help that I can’t provide.”
“I don’t want to go back yet. We came here for a reason. You—”
“Will do what’s best for you,” he said, interrupting. “If we continue down this road, I don’t think it’ll do any good. If anything, it will probably make matters worse. Tying you up, using my tools on you.” He opened his mouth, only to stop. “Amongst a lot more fucked up things…it’s too close to what you’ve been through. We may enjoy them in the moment, but this,” he said, pointing at my head, “isn’t ready to take something that significant yet. Let’s go home, get you to your doctor, and we’ll take things one day at a time.”
Everything in me wanted to argue. We’d come so far with my training. I knew his kinks were right on the edge of being revealed…and now this? One nightmare during the day and I everything I’d waited for was getting ripped away? I felt like a piece of myself was missing out on discovering the foundation of who Zain was. I needed to see what he wanted for us. I also knew he was right. I wasn’t sure I could truly handle how dark he wanted to go.
“So, we postpone the heavy stuff? What about when we go back? I won’t get to be with you like I want. I need you there with me.”
He sighed. “I won’t go against your brother’s wishes. To do that would ruin any chance of peace or happiness within your family. Plus, I’ll only be a phone call away. When you have a bad dream or feel like you need me, let me know. I’ll come over and put you back to sleep. I don’t see Slade objecting to that.”
“Do we have to leave right now? Can’t we have one or two more nights? Maybe the nightmares will go away.”
Skepticism weighed heavily in his features as he stared at me. I knew he was battling with what was right and what we both wanted.
Knocking on the door caused me to jump. I clutched him as we both looked to where the sound had come from. Fuck, I hadn’t meant to show fear, but I’d been caught off guard by whoever decided to interrupt us. As Zain stood, placing me on the cushion, I could see he was unnerved.
“If you have a nightmare tonight, we leave first thing in the morning.”
His back turned and he headed for the door. The tray of food that was wheeled in had me calming. I knew there wasn’t anything to be afraid of anymore, but the jittery feeling just wouldn’t pass. Is this what I had to look forward to now? Paranoia, dependency on guards and my Master? I’d come so fucking far from the first time. To the point where I was ready to drop my protection and live on my own. Now, this?
I had to get my strength back. Not only to deal with the life I had accomplished with my career, but for myself. I would be going back into my routine soon enough and I’d be damned if anyone saw me any differently. Saw me as…weak. I was Lilian Roberts, CEO of Slade Industries. It was time I started acting like it.
Chapter 30
Zain
How do you fix something that may be broken? By first impressions, one wouldn’t see Lily as damaged goods. Even now, I didn’t view her as such. But my slave wasn’t okay. Not even close. She classified them as just nightmares, but she didn’t see what I did. Didn’t hear the blood curdling screams that broke the silence in the dead of night. Her pleas and the complete agony in her tone left my skin clammy. She didn’t realize what hearing her most feared state did to me,. It was as if she was undergoing torture and there was no one for me to kill, to save her from. It fucking destroyed me. How in the hell was I supposed to fight off the demons in her mind? By being here? Supporting her? Fuck, that wasn’t enough.
“You’re not eating.”
My slave’s voice pulled me from my thoughts and I looked up from the full plate of food, dazed. I couldn’t get over the desperation I heard as she thrashed in my arms. To know how bad off her mind was…how truly afraid she was. God dammit. I felt helpless.
“Sorry, I was thinking.”
“About going home.” It wasn’t a question. She knew what was on my mind. Although, there was something she didn’t know. I didn’t have a home anymore. Not the one that she assumed I’d be going back to. It wasn’t safe. Not after everything that went down with my father. He had contacts, people who could possibly come looking for me. They’d have that address if my uncles had anything to do with it. Besides, I may have had a lot of money tucked away, but I wasn’t naïve to the fact that I couldn’t afford to live that life for long without having a job. Especially if I wanted to buy a home and still have a good amount in savings. Yes, Slade was going to provide one, but I didn’t take handouts. I didn’t want my salary to be any different than what everyone else in my department got paid.
I pushed the fork under the mashed potatoes and took a bite, nodding. When I swallowed, I looked back up. “Has to happen.”
She remained quiet as we finished off our meal. The sun was beginning set and I dreaded the late hours. So far, she’d had these dreams every night. I had no doubt one would haunt her again.
I stood, walking over to help her up. The disappointment was there and I felt it within myself, too. It wasn’t about feeling upset because I wasn’t enough to help her. Lilian was a victim of two tragic kidnappings. One would have sent anyone over the edge to where they might never truly recover. But, two abductions? I was scared for the woman I loved.
“Go jump in the shower. We can cuddle in bed when you get out. Maybe we’ll find a movie on.”
“I like the sound of that.” The grin that came to her face was forced. She walked to the drawer and pulled out clothes before shutting herself in the restroom. I immediately reached for my phone. The moment the water turned on, I hit Slade’s number. Two rings sounded before he answered.
“Hello?”
My pulse thumped hard in my chest as I began to pace. “I think we’re going to head back in the morning.”
He hesitated and the sound of humming could be heard in the background, no doubt from Mary. “What’s happened?”
