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Chapter 31
Lily
“Will you train again?” Zain glanced away from the TV to look at me.
My laughter died off from the stand-up comedian’s joke and my smile faded as I took in his question. I knew what he was referring to when he said train. It was all the martial arts I’d learned. “I have to get better at self-defense. The confidence will help. It’ll make me stronger. I need that right now.”
He nodded. “I want to watch, if you don’t mind.”
Zain watch me get my ass beat and handed to me every day? My trainer didn’t take it easy and he put everything into making me the best I could possibly be. I should have never quit when I did. I’d just felt so damn strong. I needed that back.
“You promise not to interfere?”
There was a slight tremble in my voice. He was my Master and I was basically telling him to butt out, but I couldn’t go without this. I needed to learn more if I was going to get my nightmares to subside and the fear to fade.
“Maybe. Depends on if he teaches you well enough.”
Zain turned over in bed toward me and I followed suit, facing him.
“And if he doesn’t?” I asked, smiling.
“Then I take over and kick his beefy ass out the door. I’ve seen your trainer, Lilian. He’s lucky he kept his hands to himself before. Let him slip once. I’ll have him in a submission hold so fast, he’ll pray I don’t make the wrong move and snap his neck.”
My lips separated. “Jesus. Well, you don’t have to worry about that. He doesn’t like women. You really think my brother would let someone that close to me if he had to worry about something happening?”
“No. But you never know.”
“I do, and Chuck isn’t interested. Trust me.” I laughed at the teasing smile he cast. The happy sigh couldn’t be held in as we kept each other’s stare. Damn, I didn’t want this to end. I was praying the nightmares held off for at least another few nights. I just doubted I was that lucky.
Zain licked his lips and reached forward, tracing his finger down my nose and across my lips. “I can’t get over how lucky I am. You’re so gorgeous, especially in moments like this.”
“I’m not sure how you can say that. I’m still all bruised up. And they’re at their ugliest now.” The yellow outlines that were beginning to take over looked awful. Make-up did an okay job of hiding it, but it was only going to get worse before they were gone completely.
“You’re beautiful to me, no matter what. I think I could stay like this, just as we are, for the rest of my life and never feel happier.”
My mouth twisted and his eyebrow cocked at my expression.
“You’d be happier if you could be yourself. Will you please tell me more about your secrets? What are you hiding? What is it that you want to do to me that you feel would be so bad?”
A groan came from his mouth and he rolled to his back. “Slave, drop it. We have the rest of our lives to dabble with the dark. Maybe we’ll never even experience it at full force. Let’s just let it go for now, okay?”
“I don’t want to,” I whispered. “I feel like this is important to you. It’s part of who you are. If I hadn’t already seen what you’re capable of, maybe I could have looked the other way, but you’ve gotten really…intense with me before. It’s killing me knowing that you’re ignoring what you want because of me.”
“You want to know?” He sat back up. “What happens when I tell you? What if it pushes you further away from me? Disgusts you? Don’t you feel like if I just did it, you’d get to experience it for yourself? Maybe do something you may have never done had I not told beforehand?”
He did have a point. What if hearing it was different than actually doing it? “I can’t believe anything you’d tell me would make me not want to at least try. I love you. I think I’d do anything you found pleasure in.”
A laugh came from his mouth and he fell back to the bed. I pushed up to a sitting position to look down at him. “What? I’m serious. I happen to think I’m pretty open-minded. Just tell me so I can let it sink in and we can build on this.”
“Okay.” Zain lifted, resting his back on the pillow he fixed to lean against the headboard. “You remember when I had you outside of my building? What I did to you?”
Lust exploded within, making my belly clench. I shifted on the bed. “I remember.”
“And in my penthouse against the glass?”
“Yes.” My body was humming just thinking about how he took what he wanted from me. I may have pretended to fight and sometimes it was genuine, but I’d wanted him all the same.
Zain’s hand reached out, cupping my breast through the silk pajama set I wore. “That’s a little of what I like, baby. Dirty, dark, I’ll-take-you-wherever-and-whenever-I-want-whether-you-like-it-or-not, hardcore fucking. Things that are so wrong, they’re right. Do you understand what I mean when I say that?”
