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“Nothing,” he said, lowly. “You’re right. I do need to back off. I’m just not sure how much I’ll be able to.”
I began taking out my earrings as I stared at the battle playing across his face. If Master had taught me anything, it was that sometimes being nice didn’t drive the point home and it sure as hell didn’t always get the job done. “Slade, I’m not going to ask you anymore. Back. Off. I appreciate what you’ve done for me, but I love him. If he told me he wanted me to move in with him right this very moment, I would. I did mention to him that I didn’t want to leave, but his respect for you had him ordering me to stay here. Ordering me, Slade.”
His jaw clenched but he let me continue.
“I know you want us to take things slow, and luckily, the man I found wants the same thing, but I’m telling you now, the moment he gives the okay, I’m gone. No more hiding for me. No more baby steps to see how I take to a situation. I belong to Zain now. I go by his rules, no one else’s.”
“Do you even really know him apart from living in some…place in Afghanistan?” The anger was sinking into my brother’s voice and I glared as I stood from the bed.
“Do not go there with me, Slade.”
His eyes widened. “Go there? Lilian, I’m being serious. You haven’t seen him here. He hasn’t even lived a real life yet. We don’t know what is going on in his head because of what he’s been through. All I’m saying is to give it a few months. Watch how he acts. Take it in and see if he’s happy or downright miserable. Don’t ignore any signs you may catch along the way. I want you to be happy. I do. But maybe you should be positive your future belongs with him before you leap off the cliff you’re standing on.”
A loud exhale sounded and Slade walked over, easing me down to sit on the edge of the bed. “Do you trust me?”
The pleading behind his stare made my anger fade. “Yes.”
“Then I need you to allow me to continue with what I have planned. It’s the only way we’ll know for sure if Zain is the one for you.”
“Plan?” My head shook in annoyance. “So, Mary was speaking the truth earlier. I knew you were up to something. Houses in Petaluma,” I said, sarcastically. “What exactly is this plan?”
A smiled pulled at the edge of Slade’s lips. “If you knew, it wouldn’t work. Just go along with what I say and we’ll both get to see just how much Zain loves you. To give you to him completely, I have to make sure. And before it’s over with, you’ll be thanking me for it.”
“Or not,” I said, under my breath. Flashes of Master having enough teased my mind and I tried to push them away. The insecurities were fictitious. I believed he wouldn’t leave me, no matter what. I just had remember that. “I’ll play your little game, but the moment I think it goes too far, I’m out.”
“Deal. Just let me work my magic and trust in me. I’m doing this for your best interest. If Zain is the one for you, we’ll know by the time this is over. You’ve both been through a lot and there’s more to come. When he gets back from dealing with his family, we’ll begin.”
My eyes shot to the clock. “Does that mean I can go back to his place until then?
The slight amusement on Slade’s face vanished at my words, only to be replaced with nothing short of distaste.
“He’ll be leaving tomorrow or the next day. I need to be with him.” I kept my tone firm. Although it appeared I was asking, we both knew I wasn’t. I wanted to spent time with him before he left. What if he didn’t come back?
“Blake called while you were at your appointment. He wanted to check up on you. He’s already here, Lilian. I don’t really think he ever left.”
Panic surged while I fought the fear that told me Zain was already gone. Had he left without saying goodbye? No…he wouldn’t do that. Would he? I stood, heading for my closet. In my heart, I knew my Master wouldn’t just take off without saying goodbye. We knew the risks he was going up against.
“If I know Zain, he’ll be leaving in the morning. I’ll be back then.” I walked over, grabbing my overnight bag. My hands grabbed clothes I wasn’t even aware of. All I could think about was, come tomorrow, Zain would be in the presence of pure evil. Men who lived for only one thing—blood. They were trained to kill and protect, and the two men they guarded were going to be waiting. Waiting to put an end to the one person who held my world together.
“Lily?”
I glanced up from the adjoining bathroom door, but still pushed it open, grabbing my essentials bag.
“You’re being careful, right? I mean…” Slade pushed from the bed and I could see how uncomfortable he was. “What you told me before you left...”
Sweat broke out over my skin just thinking about him knowing I had been pregnant. It was a part of myself I hadn’t wanted to share. “We’re careful.”
I zipped up the backpack, going back and sliding on my shoes.
“I’m sorry about what happened to you. I think I was too shocked and angry before to come up with the right thing to say. But you have to know, had you come home pregnant, regardless of who by…I would have loved the child just as much as if it were my own. You mean everything to me, Lilian. I’ve tried to show you that over the years and I know I’ve failed, but—”
I crashed into Slade hard, hugging him with every ounce of strength I’d held back since returning. Maybe a part of me thought he would reject me and the life I carried if I had returned pregnant. The circumstances had been unconventional—a tragedy for those looking from the outside in. Growing up, I’d been preached to on how I needed to save myself for marriage. Save myself for a man worthy of my brother’s approval. Deep down, I knew Zain was that man, but how things turned out for both of us didn’t fit my brother’s bill. Not from the lectures I’d been raised on. It was a scrambled situation and one I never thought my brother would begin to understand. He’d proven me wrong on every fear I’d harbored so far.
“You never failed,” I whispered. “Never.”
His arms hugged around me tight and he kissed the top of my head before easing up and stepping back. “If I haven’t failed yet, I refuse to start now. If Zain is the one for you, he’ll prove himself just as much. Enjoy your last night together, Lily. I’m afraid my plan doesn’t call for any more of them. Not anytime soon.”
Chapter 34
