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My head shook and no matter how much I wanted to cower, I forced myself to stand taller. “Nothing.”
One step. Two. The closer Slade got, the faster my heart raced.
“You…will never refer to him as that again. Ever,” he roared. “You may have been a slave once before, Lily, but you are far from that now. To think that that’s where your mind goes when you think of him, I’m not so sure I want this for you, despite what he proves to me.”
Words…nothing came as I felt the train wreck of my life come to an explosive end. Why had I done that? Where had it even come from?
“What I need for my mind does not warrant your approval, nor what I need in my life. Remember that.”
“Are you threatening me?” Slade only grew angrier and I was at a loss on how to mend this. Was it even fixable?
I eased my purse to the ground and took off the white blazer I wore. The black shirt underneath was sleeveless and I glanced down at my arms before lifting them in Slade’s direction. The scars stood out in contrast to my skin, but he didn’t see them. Not when he was forcing himself to look at my face.
“I’m going to tell you a story. The story of a slave who was saved by her Master.”
“Lilian,” he growled. The threat was there, but I continued.
“It all began from darkness. You see, I was drugged when they brought me to Afghanistan. Drugged and raped by four men. My virginity was gone, brutally and viciously. I awoke long before I opened my eyes. The foreign language that was spoken around me had me praying for death. As I laid there and let what had happened to me sink in, I never wanted to breathe another breath. I was terrified, yet dead already, at least on the inside. Or so I thought.”
Slade stayed quiet, a mix of emotions of his face that I couldn’t even read. Sadness, pain…yet nothingness. I made myself continue.
“When we arrived at Amir’s palace, I was even more confused than when I was trying to figure out what was going to become of my life. After all, why would someone that rich need me? I was ruined. Soiled from what had happened. I truly believed that if I survived and somehow escaped, no one would ever want me after the rapes. Hell, I didn’t even want myself.” My hand moved, as if to shove away the memory of how gone I was in those moments. “While two other girls and I were led inside, I tried to study everything. My brain was fuzzy and I can remember my tongue feeling thick in my mouth. I could barely swallow. Barely walk.
“I was taken to a man I remember being terrified of. I feared he’d be the one I was meant for, but he wasn’t. That was when he took me to Zain. I was told that he was my Master and I was his slave. I was a gift for everything he’d done and although I didn’t view myself as belonging to him at the time, I quickly realized that the only reason he’d accepted me was to spare my life. He didn’t want me, Slade. Not like that. He saved me. Where girls were constantly dying because of their beatings, he tried to protect me from anyone who got too close. He made me wear a wrap around my face so I wouldn’t attract attention. Whenever I had to go to the restroom or take a shower, he stood outside the door and guarded me.”
Memories took over my vision and I let them. “Even though he was…harsh, at first, I could see that he was so sad. So…broken, just like I was. Our lives there were nothing short of being prisoners. Even though he was Amir’s son, he was still a captive. His back and legs bear so many more scars than I will ever carry. If you could only see what I have, live through what we were made to, you’d understand why I have so much faith and trust in Zain. The whole time we were together, we clung to one another. I was his light where all he’d known for so long was dark. We fell in love, fast and hard.”
Slade came back into view as the images subsided. He was staring at my arms, a blank look on his face.
“It happened, Slade, whether you want to believe it or not. I was a slave. His slave, and I will not shy away from that. It saved my life. All of these claw marks you see were someone’s sister or daughter. Maybe even someone’s wife. I could still be gone right now. Dead, even. So when you get mad at me for slipping and speaking the words of my past, that should just show you how comfortable I am around you. Enough so that I let the mistake fall through my cracks. I try to hide what happened to me from everyone. The last person I want to know what I experienced is you. But I am who I am now because of being taken and if I had to change it and forget I ever met Zain, I’d choose to go through hell all over again. Listen to me when I tell you, for the millionth time…I love him. Keep that in mind when you’re conducting this plan you’ve convinced me to go through.”
A sniffle had me turning. Mary wiped the tears from her cheek and I slid my blazer back on and reached down for my purse. I didn’t want this to be some hug-fest or for them to tell me they were sorry for what I’d gone through. My brother just needed to know where I stood. I wouldn’t be letting Zain go and no one or nothing was going to stop me from being with him.
“I have to go. I’m meeting Gaige’s wife, Elle, at the coffee shop down the road. I shouldn’t be gone more than an hour. Brace will be going with me.”
Silence followed me to the door and I was thankful for it, but I didn’t miss Mary’s voice echo through the moment I shut it.
“Slade, what did you do?”
The sadness was still in her voice and I tried to push it from my head as I met Brace halfway and we got on the elevator. Soft classical music filled the space and I looked over to him, raising one of my eyebrows. Trying anything to erase what had just happened. The slight smile had me mirroring his. If there was one thing I could count on, it was my silent giant. He had always been there for me. Just like Marcio.
“You up for some shopping later? There are some things I need to pick up and I could use your help.”
He shrugged and nodded. “Fresh air would do me some good. What sort of shopping?”
“Furniture shopping, amongst other things. I have a house to decorate and I want to keep it feminine, yet manly. I’m sure you can help me with that.”
“Zain’s? Or are you thinking about leasing your own place? Doesn’t seem like you’ve been getting along so well with your brother since he’s been back.”
The elevator doors opened and we walked through the busy lobby. Cool air rushed into my face and I hugged my arms to my chest, cursing the fact that I didn’t grab a jacket. I looked over at Brace while I let his question tempt me. “Zain’s. There’s no point in me getting a place when I’m just going to eventually move in with him anyway.”
Brace stayed at my side while we walked at a fast pace. The jacket he put on my shoulders had me hugging to it tightly, even if it did swallow me.
As we waited for the crosswalk light to change, I couldn’t help but wonder how my brother’s and Mary’s conversation was going. What did Slade think about what I’d told him? I knew he was aware that I’d been raped, but the number of how many times had never been revealed. I kept the numbers out the courts, along with being drugged. They’d only gotten the necessities out of me and even that had been hard for them to do.
“Brace, do you think—”
Squealing tires had my words freezing in my mouth. My hand instinctively reached out to my guard as I prepared for…what, I wasn’t sure. Being taken again? In that moment, all I knew was fear like I’d never felt before. The buildings swayed, warping around me in a wave, and sound disappeared as my pulse took over every inch of my body. The thumping became a life of its own, rocking me with the steady rhythm.
