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“Aetas is dead, ma minette. I never want to hear his name leave your pretty little lips again. Ever. Now enough of this before my mood is spoiled and I make you pay for leaving me.”
The pressure from her anger radiated through the room and she jerked her head to the side. “Do you truly love me so much that you will deny your own identity?”
“You are my identity. I can think of nothing but you. Each breath I take is meaningless unless the smell of you has masked it. Your blood is all I want keeping me alive. You, you, you. You are my foundation of being and there’s nothing I can do to change that. I’ve thought of everything. To kill you would be killing myself. Even then I wouldn’t have you like I need. I am doomed to live in this torment eternally. At least if I am to suffer, I will do so with you at my side. In my bed.” I lowered back to her neck, letting my fangs come down to scrape along the surface.
“If you love me, why do hurt our kind? Why do you not do what you can to make me happy?”
“I’m going to make you happy, love. I’m going to make you so fucking happy right now.”
Chapter 36
Tessa
I couldn’t move through the sickness I felt. I wanted nothing more than to kill the vampire sleeping with his body wrapped around my own. Blood had dried over my chest and limbs long ago, but I cared not for how much I had lost, or the fact that he’d gotten his pleasure and fix from nearly draining me so he could sleep. My smell would calm him, he’d said. As if I cared whether or not he was at peace.
If his death wouldn’t take the life of my mate, I would have poisoned him and tore his heart out of his chest to crush in my palm. Let him love me, then. God, his death would be so simple. I could do it. I knew I could. It was hell not being able to. It was even worse pretending.
To give my body to a monster over and over was destroying me. Hate. The emotion didn’t even scratch the surface for how I felt about Aetas. The moment I began to pull back, he sensed it. The anger that came from him at that was one that scared me. I couldn’t afford to screw this up. Marko and Hunter couldn’t afford it. Aetas’ attention would zero in on them for sure. He needed me, to have all of his focus aimed at the one person who could keep him distracted.
The grip tightened around me and Aetas drew me in impossibly closer. I tried not to tense or shove him away from me. The worst part was knowing I could leave. I could disappear right now and be free of this. But what would that do? He’d bring me back and the next time, his love might not so easily forgive. I was in a lose-lose situation no matter how I looked at it. The only thing I could do was buy Marko and Hunter time. At some point Aetas was going to realize he needed to get them back and with what I saw last night between unconsciousness, Hunter was just as susceptible to the summoning as I was.
“You’re awake. I feel your thoughts. They run so deep. They coax me from such a good sleep.”
I stared up at the ceiling, trying my best to rein in the negativity. “I apologize. I didn’t mean to wake you. I was thinking over what needed to be done today. Have you chosen a new circle, yet?”
“I have.” Stubble from his cheek scraped against the side of my forehead as he buried his face into me even more.
“Surely you have duties. May I attend as your queen? I know I’m not member-worthy yet, but—”
“You’re more powerful than most selected. I killed off the strongest.”
I blinked passed the information, trying not to let my pulse increase. He trusted me more than I expected. Or … he thought himself above needing protectors.
My mouth opened to speak, but his hand quickly covered it.
“Too early. I care not for any of that. Politics are the last thing on my mind right now.”
I resisted the urge to attack him for cutting me off with his hand. Hostility was my first reaction toward him every time he touched me.
I turned my head under the weight of his hand and he let me, lowering it to begin to massage into my breast.
“I should …” My mouth closed and my thoughts died off. I was going to say bathe, but the flashbacks of the last time I was around water with him nearly took my breath away. Fear engulfed me so intense that Aetas’ head rose. I stole a glance, hating that Marko’s face was what met me. I tried to avoid looking at it as much as possible, but I couldn’t escape the truth. Aetas wasn’t going to turn back into his old self. Ever.
“What is it? You’re afraid.”
I paused, trying to recall who I caught a glimpse of. Something wasn’t right with his looks. I knew that even as I stared at his shoulder. “I don’t want to fear you.” I let my eyes dart up once again to his cheek. “Marko, I must be honest with you. You scare me sometimes. Just the thought of getting clean leaves me shaking. If I embrace this … you won’t hurt me again, will you?”
“Oh, ma minette. Come here.”
His arms drew me in until my face was level with the front of his throat.
“Just love me. That’s all I want.”
My fangs thickened with the need to tear out his throat, and they lowered the smallest amount as I moved in. When my lips pressed into him, his fingers laced through my hair, keeping me there. My vampire wanted to react violently. To attack at the lack of control I had, but somehow I managed to move back and place more kisses across his skin.
“God, yes. Keep going. I knew you loved me. You just had to see for yourself. That’s all it was. That’s the only reason you were gone so long.”
I paused, blinking through the lies he was feeding himself to cope.
