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“Which part? Before…or after?”

“Both. Even after, at least you were driven. You may have been spiraling, but you created the most successful social media site in history. You went out. You had a life.”

“And we all know how that turned out.”

“It was one mistake. One reporter. He crossed the line, you know that. Come back, Jase. Come back to the office. Let’s meet in the conference room instead of online. Let’s go to lunch together. Grab dinner. I know Rush would love to see you.”

I laughed, tossing back the glass to finish it off. “Rush sees me all the time. Your twin can’t stand me. Not since.” I stopped. “We’re done. I have things to do.”

“What sort of things?”

Rian would have seen right through the lie that was on the tip of my tongue, but he couldn’t handle the truth. Could I?

“This was great,” I said, lifting and tilting my glass towards him. “Let’s do it again next year.”

“Jase, you can talk to me about anything. I’d rather hear what you’re hiding than.” He stopped, wiping his hand down his face. “What can I do?”

I blinked away the memories of our past, not succumbing to the emotions they stirred. Not here. Not now.

“I’m good.” I forced a smile. “You know how I get on the anniversary. I just need—”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

But it was and we both knew it.

“I need to sleep it off. It’s been a long day.”

“Okay. What if I crashed in your guest room? You won’t even know I’m there. I’ll let myself in. I got the code.”

My teeth clenched again. It was a habit that was increasing with the building frustration.

“I said I’m good, Rian. Maybe we can meet up soon for lunch or something.”

“You say that every time. When I set a date, you feed me bullshit excuses.”

A groan left me. “I’m going now. I’ll see you at the meeting Thursday. Online. Goodnight.”

I hung up before he could argue, but I didn’t stand. I didn’t move. My stare dropped from the wall of monitors to my desk. As I took in my laptop, my pulse started pounding. If I put my hands on the keys, there was no going back. It was tonight or never. I couldn’t continue to battle this need. My plans either started tonight, or I had to figure out a way to make them disappear forever. The indecisiveness was driving me insane. There was so much rage. So much hate. If I didn’t do this…

The decanter clinked into the glass from my shaking hands. I never reacted this way, of course, I’d never wanted something as much as I did now. This wasn’t normal. I’d never been, but blood was calling me. Their blood. Their evil. I could feel it like a hook in my soul, reeling me forward to find them. And I so easily could. No one had my skills. No one knew their way around the darkest parts of the web better than me. I’d be a ghost in the evil ether of predators. I could make them pay, make them suffer like I couldn’t before…like when…

Liquor sloshed over my hand as I slammed down my drink and tilted back the screen. Didn’t they deserve to pay for their crimes? Didn’t the victims deserve justice? Real fucking justice?

My lids squeezed together as I tried to clear my foggy thoughts. No amount of alcohol could numb the calling inside me. It had always been there, luring, tempting, and I’d always answered it. But this was more. Bigger than what I’d ever handed myself over to. This could turn out wrong. Without Rian and Rush covering my ass, it could go bad. But wasn’t I born to protect and serve? To put others’ lives before mine?

There was something out there. Someone…somewhere?

I couldn’t understand it even though I trusted my intuition. I had to do this, no matter where it led me. And, oh, the possibilities. There was always a chance I’d be caught. Killed. Arrested. I wasn’t afraid of death, nor did I worry about the authorities. There were darker things in the world. People…like me. Cravers of carnage. Of inflicting pain.

My fingers slid over the mouse.

At least I had purpose to back my murderous dreams. Wouldn’t it be worth it if I could help just one person? I could save a life. I could stop something else bad from happening. The illegal activities on the dark web were endless. They were plentiful; and fuck if they burned the wick of the time-bomb ticking inside of me.

“I’ll just look. I don’t have to decide anything tonight.”

But I did. Even as I covered my webcam and went to work, I was fully aware that I was lying to myself. My mind was set. My heart was sold. Before I could so much as catch my breath, I found myself in a familiar forum. One for the sick and immoral. Once upon a time, I was regulars with Rian and Rush. It was the perfect hunting ground. There were so many paths I could take. So many grotesque things to try to tackle. Here, I was handed a buffet of depravity served on a silver platter. But where did I want to begin?

I grabbed my drink, topping it off before I took a sip. As I scanned down the subjects, one stuck out like a beacon. Not because it was overly exposing or elicit. Quite the opposite. It was code, and a phrase I’d never heard.

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