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“Don’t worry, we won’t.”
A tinge of something sparked. I wasn’t sure what it was. I definitely did not want to meet a murderer, yet…hadn’t I been doing nothing but talking to this man for days? He’d comforted me when I was so afraid. He saved me. Why was all that important when it was compared to causing death? Had David driven me crazy? Made me lose a piece of my mind? That had to be it. Right and wrong were skewed. They were twisted and gone from me now. Even as I sat staring blankly at the screen, I couldn’t ignore the small signs that nothing was okay. I slept with one of my wrists over my head as if I were still shackled to the wall.
Routine. I’d always been so stuck to schedules. Obsessively so. I didn’t want this to be integrated within me now, but there was nothing I could do about it. I didn’t want to remember.
“Kody?”
“Yes, J?”
“What are you thinking? Your expression changed.”
My eyes landed on the post-it notes next to my computer. I frowned, tearing one off. “I’m going to bed now. Thank you. For everything. You appear to mean well, but I’m going to need some time.” There was hesitation as I reached forward with the post-it and covered the webcam. Why did I feel bad for cutting him out? I was so ass-backwards. So fucked up in my mind.
I stood, turning to my room.
“Kody.”
“Goodnight, J.”
He didn’t argue. He didn’t say another word at all as I grabbed my phone and went into my room. I put it on the stand on the end table to charge, gazing at the screen and the camera as I pulled the covers back and laid down. It was facing me, not feet away. If he could break into my computer, was he still watching from my phone?
I wouldn’t think about that. I didn’t want to know; I wanted to sleep.
My eyes closed while minutes passed. I tossed and turned, fighting what I knew I couldn’t face. Biting down, my teeth clenched, and I lifted my good hand above my head. Tears were automatic, but so was something else. Not quite peace, but an odd, warped comfort I couldn’t deny. I gripped one of the bars of my headboard, squeezing until I didn’t have the strength to fight. Until I was asleep.
Chapter 11
Jase
Pink. For too many days to count, all I saw was pink. The post-it she’d used to separate us was still sticking strong, and aside from a few good mornings or good nights, Kody was keeping to herself. Maybe she thought I was gone. I hadn’t replied back to her. Not that I didn’t want to. I just thought if she assumed I was gone, she’d take down the damn post-it. It didn’t matter though. I still got to watch her sleep. There was solace in that. There was also pain. Curiosity. Lust.
“I’m better. Look, the colors are fading a little. I can wear makeup. Come on, Tiff, help me out.”
“Help? Girl.”
“Don’t girl me. I’m better now.”
“You’re not. You’re just bored. We both know you’re not ready to go back to work.”
I listened, annoyed I didn’t get to watch their conversation. My life was visual. I was a creator. Everything I did, I brought to life on the screen. The one thing I wanted to see, I couldn’t. How was I to know how Kody truly was, if I couldn’t see her? Sure, there was sleeping, and she did plenty of that, but I needed more. I wanted to see her again.
“Talk to Greg, please. Try to explain to him that I need this. I can even work from home. I told him that. Just…give me something to do.”
“You know that’s not possible, Kody.”
“I know.” She grunted.
“What about movies? Have you checked out any of the new series I told you about?”
“Not yet. You know I’ve never been much into TV.”
“What about books?”
Kody made another sound. “I’ve tried a few. Nothing is really keeping my attention. What…do you know about social media? Is it worth all the hype?”
“I think so. I enjoy it.” The friend got quiet, only to continue. “Are you thinking about opening an account somewhere?”
“I don’t know. Probably not. It just crossed my mind.”
